(This is a conjoined story between myself and my friend Dragon92 go to his profile for other great Mortal Kombat stories. Not that anyone ever reads theses author's notes... penis, bagina, bunghole!)
Subzero sat with the remote in his hand. He turned on the T.V. and clicked to MTV.
"Today on Behind The Kombat," The narrator said. "The true story of Johnny Cage."
"What the hell are you watching?" Said Scorpion.
"Dude, it's Behind The Kombat. They are finally doing a show on our tournament." Answered
Subzero.
"Yeah, whatever. Where's the bread?" Scorpion said. "I want to make some toast. With butter!" He laughed manically.
"Check the second shelf in the pantry." Subzero answered.
"Oh here we go. Thanks." Scorpion said.
Scorpion sat on the couch next to Subzero after having put the bread in the toaster.
"So who is the story on?" Scorpion asked.
"Johnny Cage. You know the B movie star he was in Ninja Mime with Channie Jack." Subzero responded.
"Yeah I heard he got into some problems with drugs after that movie failed...miserably." Scorpion said, shaking his head.
"Oh be quiet the interview is starting." Subzero said frantically.
The T.V. showed Barbra Walters with Johnny Cage sitting in a chair across from here.
"So how much coke where you using a day?" Barbra Walters asked.
"Well it fluctuated man. Sometimes I thought I was almost off the stuff. But other times I just couldn't get out of bed without my dose of cocaine." Johnny answered with a deep breath.
"I also heard there was some trouble during the filming of your last movie. What do you have to say about this." Barbra questioned.
"Yeah, there where a lot of problems. The director would find me in my trailer passed out drunk covered in my own feces and urine. I mean just covered in the stuff, from head to toe." Johnny said as he put his head in his hands and started crying.
"Holly shit, I didn't realize how messed up his life was." Scorpion said in amazement.
"Yeah, hey you smell something burning?" Subzero asked while sniffing the air.
"Yeah I kinda...MY TOAST!" Scorpion leaped up and ran to the toaster. He quickly pulled out the two pieces of blackened bread. "Dammit...you son of a GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!" He said as he speared Subzero's toaster.
"What did you do now?" Subzero asked getting up from the couch. He soon noticed the toaster hooked on Scorpions spear. He then watched in horror as Scorpion repeatedly cast hellfire on the broken appliance. "Dude, what the fuck are you doing to my toaster?" Subzero yelled.
"Fucking thing burnt my toast. I was really hungry too." Scorpion answered with a smile on. Happy of his victory over the toaster.
"Well that doesn't mean you have to break it. You should have paid better attention to what you were making." Subzero yelled still in shock.
"Well soooooorrrrrrry Mr. I love appliances that burn my room-mates breakfast." Scorpion replied rolling his eyes.
"Ok whatever, but you owe me a new toaster." Subzero said.
"Fine, but I am not paying a carpet cleaner to clean the black stains from my hellfire." Scorpion replied quickly.
"Well still, wait don't we live on the second floor?" Subzero questioned. Right before hearing a yell from down below.
"What the fuck is this...bullshit!? There is a huge fucking ass hole in my ceiling. What happened?" Baraka yelled from the first floor. "I am gonna shove my blades up the ass and out the mouth of whoever did this."
Scorpion and Subzero looked at each other quickly and rushed out the door.
"Now what jackass? We can't go back home until that Tarkatan asshole calms down." Subzero yelled.
"Oh please, that guy is all talk and no game. I mean, he only has like three special moves. He wont do anything. Trust me," Scorpion answered very calmly.
Just then a loud yell came from the apartments. "Did you do this to my ceiling?" Baraka yelled at the mailman.
"What no I didn't do anything. I'm just a postman"- he stopped suddenly as a flying shard hit his throat.
"Lying sack of shit." Baraka yelled.
"Ok maybe I was wrong." Scorpion said frightened.
"Yeah, lets go now. Do you know where the car is?" Subzero asked.
"It is over near the dumpster." Scorpion said placing his arms behind his head.
"Who do you think you are, Ash Ketchem? Walking with you hands behind your head. That isn't even comfortable." Subzero said.
"Very funny. Lets just get going. Where can we buy a new toaster?" Scorpion asked turning to Subzero before getting in the car.