Disclaimer: Kriss(starlight506) does not own this story, pheonixfeather does, she does not own HP.
I wrote this story today. At 5:00 AM! I couldn't get to sleep. So I
wrote this totally scary psycho but meant to be funny fanfic for HP and
here goes. And it's okay for you to say that it sucks because I think
I based it on a wacky dream I had! O.o Oh, well...
Harry Potter Luau!!! By Lee AKA Phoenix Feather
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Person from National Geographic Documentaries: Now, in the Golden
Trio's 6th year, they have a luau. Everyone wears a swimsuit, and various
Activities take place in the Dining Hall, which has been decorated in
Palm trees, parrots, and huts.
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Dining Hall
Dumbledore:wearing regular robes. Does he have legs? Hello,
students and faculty! Today we have various tropical activities like limbo,
beach volleyball, and whipped cream bikini contests!!!
All Male Kind:whistles and cheers YAAAYYY!!!
Dumbledore: Not really!! Just kidding! sweatdrop
All Male Kind: BOOOOO!!!
Dumbledore:sigh LET THE FESTIVITIES COMMENCE!!
(A/N: Is he from Star Trek?? Who says 'commence'??)
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Dining Hall: Professors' Table
McGonagall:in one-piece swimsuit Darn, I wanted to see Albus in
trunks! drools
Trelawney:in one-piece swimsuitsticks tongue out Ew...
McGonagall:This! Coming from a woman who wants to see Severus in a
THONG?!? shudders
Trelawney:blush and drool
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Gryffindor Common Room
Ron:dressed as a crab What'dya think? Is this not the hottest crab
you've ever seen?
Hermione:wearing school robes Well, I like them steamed with butter!
Ron:I'm not STEAMIN', I'm SMOKIN'!!! macho pose
Hermie:rolls eyes Where's Harry?
Ron:Probably still trying to figure out what a luau is...
Hermie:Wanna leave w/out him?
Ron:sure, if we don't I'll miss the limbo tournament!
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Dining Hall
Harry:wearing trunks with a huge stripe of sunscreen on his nose
Hiya!
Ron:You do know that we aren't actually in the real sun, right?
Harry:0.o really?!? 'Cuz it feels like we are! Wow, it's
like...whisper magic!
Ron:Oi!!
LadyOnSpeakerPhone: Limbo tournament, starting in 5 min! And on aisle
7...
Me: AAAAHHHHH!!!! GET OUT OF HERE!!! chases LOSP out with a club
Ron:that's my cue!
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Dining Hall: Limbo Arena
Binns: wearing regular clothes, seeing how he's a ghost Contestant
One, Round One... blah-blah...
Malfoy: wearing as little as he could get away with Watch the
master, ladies!
MalfoyFanGirls:giggle stupidly
Malfoy:bends over a little, but falls flat on his back XX owie...
MFG:gasp and start crying while running in circles
Snape:CALL THE PARAMEDICS!!!
Sprout:rolls eyes Oh, shut up, you buffoon. Just give him
this.pulls potion out of pocket on swimsuit
(A/N: Who has pockets on a swimsuit??)
Snape:fortunately loses all sense and shoves potion down Malfoy's
throat hastily
Malfoy:blinks Wheeee...giggleWhere am I...?? giggle
Snape:WHAT DID YOU DO TO THIS POTION, WOMAN?!?
Sprout: Whoops, i guess I added a little something.. on accident of
course.giggles innocently
Snape:sounds like Fujin from FF8 RAGE!!! almost strangle sprout,
but decides against it and carries Malfoy to the Hospital Wing, followed
by a mourning party
Malfoy:giggles Do you think I'm pretty??
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Limbo Arena
Ron:bending backwards and walking under limbo
stickhow-low-can-i-go-how-low-can-i-go-how-low-ca-
Hermie:RRROOOONNN!!!!runs up to him
Ron:stands up sharply, hitting his head on stick #-- Ow...
Hermie:Ron, Harry's snogging Ginny!!!
Ron:furiousThat sonofa-chases after Hermie
Harry:AAAHHH!!!has Super Soaker 1600
Ginny:AAAHHH!!!has Super Soaker 1600
Ron:slow-motionNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!runs away, but crashes into Cho as H&G
spray him
Cho:slow-motionEEEEEKKKKKK!!!!!
Ron:gets cornered, un-slow-motioned DON'T SHOO-
H&G:HAHAHAHAHAAHA!!soak Ron
Ron:sniffle I-I lost the limbo competition!!!
Hermie:laugh
Harry:laugh
Ginny:EVIL GIGGLE OF DOOM!!!!!
Harry&Hermie: Uh-oh...
Ginny:Evil! I still have some water left!!soaks Harry, but gets
bored and goes to talk with Hermie
Harry:Didn't Hermione buy a swimsuit?
Ron:Yeah, why?
Harry:pouts I wanted to see her in a bikini! She would look hot!
drool
Ron:madYou're stupid to tell that to her BOYFRIEND!!
Harry:screamsI-I meant-thinks for 10 minutes AHA! I MEANT I WANT
TO SEE LIME GREEN ON MY BIKINI!!
Ron:long gone
Everyone: stares YOU HAVE A BIKINI?!? Ew...
Harry: hehehehe...blush
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Random Area(I haven't decided yet)
Harry: Guys? Where are you? yodels
He opens a random door to see...
Ron&Hermie:snogging
Harry:screams and runs away AAAHHHHH!!! IT BURNSSSS!!!
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Dining Hall
Harry:runs in, screaming AAAAHHHH!! IT BURNSS!!! faints
Dumbledore:Does anyone know CPR??
Ginny:thinks for a moment Does it require mouth-to-mouth??
Dumbledore: Yes...
Ginny:flailing arms around OOOOHHHH!! PICK MEEEE!!!
Dumbledore:Random Red-Haired Girl?
Ginny:squeals, and is about one cm away from oblivion when...
Harry:rolls away
Stitch:rolls in and intercepts
Ginny:screams EEEWWWW!!!
Talk Show Host Stitch (I'm just using it real quick, Kriss!!)
Stitch: presses stop on video tape And that, my viewers, concludes
my adventure as a wizard!
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Wow... that is scary! It sucks... And I know that if someone faints
you don't really use mouth-to-mouth, I dunno why I did!!
Lee