Author's Note: Even the funniest things can be inspirational somehow this choice song came to my head heard it recently and thought of it with this one-shotter and it's told from Garfield's POV

Disclaimer: Garfield? Great name for a orange cat. But I don't own it. Nor the song: "I Just Had Sex" by The Lonely Island.

Garfield's Good Nightmare

(Garfield's POV)

You know, I had this kind of dream. Jon and our vet Liz, got married, yeah didn't think that my owner could stoop low to add a woman it's bad for even me and Odie as we now have to deal with her. Jon, you despicable traitor, paying all your attention to Liz and not us- I mean me! Anyway we were locked out and Jon and Liz decided to go to town, and I don't mean hopping in the car and driving in the car. We couldn't hear the moaning from them but we most definitely heard the bed sleeping. We can't really see what was going on but I can try imagining it. Jon thinks he's a stud in bed, had lifted Liz's legs up and plows away, the lovemaking was getting frustrating for her as Jon was on and off on trying to get it up. I was hoping for Liz to say: "Jon let's stop." It would save our main owner the dignity but for some reason the schmuck kept going. Liz looked at the alarm clock wishing it was over. Hey Liz, if you really wanted to be my friend, next time, put a bag on his head so you wouldn't have to look at his ugly lovemaking faces as he is not satisfying you, then pretend you was at your office doing what you love best. As Jon was groaning Odie was whining. So I had to cheer the suck-up up.

"Not to worry Odie, this is Jon's language of saying: 'I love all of you, well mostly me, and I never want to leave you.' So you can calm down."

20 minutes after it had all finally stopped but Jon was a cheapie for leaving us out. Usually when you're done, you open the door, so that I, could at least sleep in my own catgone bed. But this time I'll let you slide because you just confirmed what I just imagined. Liz was unsatisfied and I was happy because it was only a matter of time until she divorces him and we're stuck with Jon again.

The next day while we were riding John was singing a song about what he did last night. And it got even better when he sang it out loud out the window. Way to go Jon! Why don't you yell out that you are the worst lover in the neighborhood. Anyway upon us picking up Liz they were talking. At this point the only words I wanted to hear from her was, "Jon I don't think this will work out, I want a divorce." And trust me Jon could try again and again but he wouldn't be any gooder. Liz you would be doing all of us including you a favor, because you don't want to stick with Jon the half-minute Con who thinks you're the best after 30 seconds. I mean he basically scream sang that he made love to you.

"Jon, there something I want to talk to you about."

"Liz?"

"Jon..."

"Liz...?"

"Jon..."

"Liz..."

Oh my goodness Jon, Liz, Jon, Liz, just when will this stop? Suddenly this picture was fading white and we're back in our house. so pretty much I was dreaming because I was asleep but I woke up to the noise of Jon and Liz making love and I can hear them moaning and groaning. Liz actually like what Jon's giving her. Oh Liz you're just like Odie, a suck-up!

"You are so good to me Jon! Please go deeper!"

"Sure Liz, oh, God...!"

This was a nightmare as I watched as Jon plow away inside her, and Liz, only I could get clingy on Jon, unhook your arms and legs around him, you didn't enjoy it that much.

"You want to finish doggy-style?"

"Oh, Yes."

Okay, now you two are taking my nightmare to another level. As if already I have not seen the last 10 minutes of you two flop around together now I have to endure more moaning and groaning in a position that's forbidden in like 9 states for another 10 minutes?! I could not look at them The moaning and the groaning was bad enough and somehow this got Odie excited I mean his tail was just rapidly wagging away and he was barking like he approved of this position this was like his national anthem. I had enough of Odie barking.

"Hey Odie, silence that beak or my claw will dominate your butt!"

However Odie wouldn't stop. It wasn't until I got off my bed as I hear Jon say:

"Liz, I'm coming!"

"Ohh, Jon! Please feel free to spill it inside me!"

"Okay...! I love you!"

"I love you too!"

"Liz!"

"Jon!"

Thank goodness that was over but next time you two make love try the cat position okay? It's better for your limbs. But somehow the song that was played in my dreams that Jon sang came on. It was the only good thing out of this nightmare as Jon sang the song but it was even better when Liz sang the song as well. Somehow this isn't the Liz I know but catgone it, it was sure funny until Odie praised them by standing on his back legs.

Odie drop down on all fours!

Author's Note: Hope you like my lame attempt at humor along with romance anyways I thank you for reading and if you like you can check out my polls and my other fics as well. Once again thanks and happy reading.