-1Beth took a deep breath and smiled in spite of herself.
"Honestly, you make things more complicated than they have to be Mick," she said sipping the scotch slowly, never breaking eye contact.
"You think?" Mick asked, matching her playful attempt to break the tension with a raised brow and answering grin.
"Yeah. If you would just tell me what I want to know then I could quit hounding you and we could both have some peace."
"That's doubtful," he said as he gently placed one hand at the small of her back, leading her into the sitting room. Beth went willingly, shrugging off her coat as she walked.
Mick hated to admit it, but being a vampire wasn't entirely bad. For instance, he quite enjoyed the way Beth's heartbeat picked up when he touched her, no matter how briefly. Every new Beth mystery solved made her all the more intriguing. He'd been trying for weeks to figure out why she always smelled like lilacs, a scent that made him think of days spent making love in the sun. It wasn't her perfume or shampoo. It was simply Beth. Her natural scent. And that, drove him mad.
She was still sipping the scotch as she sat slowly in one of his plush leather chairs.
"Feel better?" he asked settling himself in the seat directly across from her.
Beth raised an arched brow and smiled.
"I feel fine Mick," she said. "It's you that I'm worried about."
He made her feel safe. That much was obvious. Her feelings for him had blinded her to the reality of what it meant to be a vampire. Perhaps she needed a reminder. He would never hurt her. But maybe, a good scare would get his point across.
Oh, who was he kidding? She'd already seen him at his absolute worst and accepted him in spite of it. She was an incredible woman, his Beth.
Mick shuddered inwardly at that possessive statement. She could never be HIS Beth. And even after 85 years of living, it was the most brutal truth he'd had to bear yet.
"I keep dreaming of you," she said, shaking him out of his thoughts and back to the matter at hand. "Why?"
She wanted answers that Mick could not give her. He couldn't take it, he decided as he stood to pace the living room one more time. He listened intently as she began to explain that he was the catalyst for every change, good and bad, in her life over the past two months.
"It's like I'm living another life. When I'm awake, I'm one person. But when I fall asleep…I don't know. It feels so real," she explained.
"What happens in these dreams?"
"I can't always remember," she said. "Sometimes I do. They're different. Some are from a long, long time ago. It makes me feel like I've always known you. Others are…I know I talk about you in my sleep. Josh has told me that much. In my dreams, I think we're together. We're happy."
That sounded too good to be true. Probably because, in fact, it was. They could never be together, and if somehow they managed it, for however brief a time, there could be no happily ever after.
"Great," Mick said in a less than enthusiastic tone. "I'm breaking up a long term, otherwise fulfilling relationship."
"It's hardly fulfilling if I'm dreaming about another man," Beth scoffed.
"Exactly," he said.
What would it take to make her understand that he had to do the right thing? There were just lines that he could not cross and continue to live with himself. Eternity is a long time to have to embrace your identity and actions.
"Do you know about dreams Beth?" he asked in a whisper. "I cannot be what you want me to be. The sooner you realize that, the better off we'll both be."
She looked at him as he paced, silently waiting for his next excuse.
"Do you know what I dream about?"
It was the first time that she'd ever heard his tone reflect the self-loathing she knew ran so deep.
"I don't," he said simply. "I sleep in a refrigerator upstairs and for all intensive purposes, when that happens…I'm dead."
"I'm not afraid of you Mick."
"You should be," he snapped back.
"No, I shouldn't. You could have drained Leni when things got really bad in the desert. But you didn't. A REAL monster would have."
"Beth, I…"
"When I thought that I'd lost you…" She stopped mid sentence, her voice breaking from emotion. He watched her silently swipe at tears that she was desperately trying to keep at bay.
Mick sighed and closed his eyes, trying not to give into what he felt for this woman.
He took the seat across from her once again, noting that she apparently couldn't bring herself to look at him with vulnerability shining through those ocean eyes.
Putting his head in his hands, he practically begged her to end his suffering.
"Why did you come here tonight Beth?" he asked. "What answers are you looking for?"
"The truth…I wanted to see you," she admitted. "I feel like I can't breathe when I'm not with you. I've never had this kind of connection with anyone and I want to know why. Why can't I stop? Why do I wake up in the morning and wish that it were you lying next to me? Why did you barge into my life and show me a world that I never knew existed and can't be a part of? My God Mick, when I thought you were dead, I wanted to die too."
"Don't say that," he said angrily. "Don't you ever say that."
"It's true. Not admitting it would be the lie."
"You should go," Mick said suddenly.
Beth made a low sound in her throat, a hollow laugh, devoid of joy.
"I should do a lot of things Mick," she said with a sting in her voice that he almost could not bear. "I should stop thinking about you every second I'm awake. But I can't seem to. I should focus on my work and not make excuses to see you. But I don't. I should be at home with my very loving and attentive boyfriend. But I'm not. And you know what? I don't wanna be."
She stood soundlessly, closing the distance between them.
Mick looked up at her, helpless to do or say anything as he watched a single tear escape it's glassey prison. He turned his face away, refusing to admit that he was the reason for her pain.
Beth reached down to gently turn his face towards hers.
"I should forget that I know what I know and feel what I feel," she said so softly that without his prenatural senses, he probably would have not been able to make out the words. "But I can't. It's not about need or want anymore. I can't walk away from this."
She took his breath away, standing there in nothing but snug jeans and a cashmere black sweater. So, close that he could feel the heat from her skin. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
"What have you done to me Mick?"
"N-nothing, I swear," he stammered. "I would never…I…"
"I don't think that it has anything to do with you being a vampire."
"This can't happen," he said. "It wont' work. I'm trying to do what's best for you."
"How 'bout you let me decide what's best for me detective," Beth said boldy bracing her arms on either side of the recliner. She smiled softly, her lips mere inches from his.
"You can't make this go away Mick," she said. "We've past the point of turning back now."
"Yeah, I'd say that we passed that point about a week and a half ago," he said with a smirk, raising his eyes to hers, a bold gesture that spoke words he could not. Just one kiss, he thought. Just one. Then, I will stop this.
He wanted her. There was no hiding that fact. He knew it. She knew it. Why fight it anymore? He was tired of being noble. For once in his miserable existence, he wanted to act on impulse. He wanted to show this woman that he loved her. The need to say those words was burning him, creating an ache that nothing less than her touch, her reciprocation could ease.
But still, he couldn't. He would truly be the monster he believed himself to be if he allowed this to go any further.
Beth watched the battle rage in Mick's eyes. She started to say something, but before she could open her mouth to speak, Mick let out a strangled moan and kissed her with an intensity she had not known he was capable of until that moment.
Slowly tangling his hands in her golden blonde hair, he pulled her down to sit on his lap, breaking the contact only to smile when she tenuously began fumbling with the buttons at the collar of his black and white striped Kenneth Cole shirt.
"This is going to change everything," she said in a breathless whisper, resting her forehead against his. Maybe it was her way of telling him it didn't have to go any further. Maybe it was her way of telling him there really was no turning back.
"I know," Mick said with a smile as he shrugged off the shirt and began to kiss her with all of the longing he'd felt since they'd met that night months ago. "I know."
To be continued…..