a/n: BY THE ANGEL IT HAS MORE THAN A THOUSAND WORDS

after listening to a couple if paramore songs i came up with this at first it was going to be based on emergency, then last hope, then that's what you get, etc. until i kinda took something from each of them but decided to write it mostly based on last hope

i'm sorry if emma doesn't seem like herself lmao she's just broken in this one shot

"Swan?"

Emma was inside Granny's at four in the morning the day after Neal's death. It should have been closed, but thankfully an exception was made when Ruby and her grandmother saw how miserable the savior was feeling, so right now she was sitting by herself, staring into the distance and wondering what she could have done to stop his death. The life she could have had with him. Everything was too painful to even consider doing something other than sulking at the only diner in town, thus that was what she'd been doing for the past three hours.

Until she heard someone come in and call her name.

"I'm not in the mood," Emma mumbled as Hook took a seat in front of her.

"I can see that," he replied.

She didn't think he did, though. Hook was here to annoy her or try (and fail) to use his charm now that Neal was dead. "Then go," she said coldly, hoping it was enough to make the pirate do so.

"I'm afraid I can't," came the answer, which annoyed Emma to no end. "You shouldn't be here at this time."

"Neither should you." She retorted stubbornly, making it crystal clear that she wasn't going anywhere. After losing Neal for the third time in her life, she wasn't going to go to sleep and forget all about it the next day. No pirate, queen or wicked witch would stop her.

"Because I'm worried about you," he admitted, although knowing Emma didn't believe him. "Listen, Swan, I.. I know what's it like to lose the one you love the most."

"Then you know better than to try to console me."

He sighed. Emma clearly didn't see it that way, but all he wanted was the best for her. "You can't live your life like this. You can't cry over him every day and never love again—"

"You just want me to love you," Emma complained suspiciously. Why the hell would Captain Hook be there to comfort her if he didn't get anything out of it? "And I don't. So stop trying, because you won't get anywhere."

As she buried her face in her hands, knowing that her green eyes were welling up and not wanting to let him see her cry, he remained quiet. After ten seconds of utter silence, she though he'd left, but when she looked up, Hook was still there, giving her the space she needed.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful woman. Her name was Milah," he said once she had calmed down. "And she was married to a man she didn't love."

Emma knew where this story was heading. The man was Hook, and he would lose her to someone else, but it wouldn't be as painful as the loss of Neal. "And she cheated on you, but you got over it. You didn't lose her forever."

"Actually, love, that man wasn't me," he replied. "I'm the drunk pirate she fell in love with at the local bar. She begged me to take her away from her home, where her husband awaited her with their son. We made plans to take her son with us when he grew up, so he could be happy, away from the life he was condemned to live. But right now, the boy was going to live with his father, and Milah left with me. We were living a happy life on the Jolly Roger, when her ex-husband came back and challenged me to a duel after I told him she'd died, so he wouldn't take her away and destroy her happiness." Hook paused, and Emma realized this was where the story took a dark turn. "I had no chances of survival at all. As a matter of fact, I was dying when Milah found us and made a deal with him. She'd give him a magic bean only if he spared their lives. And the next day, he changed his mind the moment she admitted she'd never loved him. So he ripped her heart out of her chest... and crushed it. Do you know what that feels like, Swan?"

"It's like the heart being crushed was your own," she said, nodding, as her mind struggled to let everything sink in.

"Exactly," he agreed, now wondering why he was telling her this. It was like someone was rubbing salt on a wound that had never healed. "Then he took my hand, thinking that it was the one holding the magic bean. But it wasn't. And that day I lost my hand and my soulmate."

Emma immediately regretted underestimating him. She was surprised she got to see this side of him, the softer side that was capable of actually loving someone. "Hook, I—"

"There were only four people I ever cared about in my life. My brother, whose death turned me into the dirty pirate you know, Milah, and her son, about an year after she died. He had sacrificed himself for his family and therefore ended up lost in Neverland. We let him stay at the Jolly Roger. I taught him how to sail, he told me about his cowardly father and I told him about mine. He was like a son to me, until he discovered a picture of his mother. He then thought I'd been using him to get revenge on his father, so he left the Jolly Roger and got kidnapped by the Lost Boys. And now he's dead," Hook finished.

Emma realized he wasn't the man she thought he was. There was a reason for everything he'd done wrong, although he had acted like a hero since they'd been to Neverland. She would have never though that his past had been so rough, but then again, it wasn't exactly obvious to someone like her. "I-I'm sorry," she said, but she truly meant it.

"It's alright, love," he replied, knowing that Emma was one of the many people who had though he was nothing but a selfish pirate.

"How do you handle it? How do you make the pain stop?" She asked. She didn't usually let people see her in this state that easily, but she was too weak. Emma just needed to let it out and stop trying to heal the wounds.

"I don't," Hook answered simply. "I'm just not afraid of hurting anymore. Trust me, Swan, you will be as happy as you were with him some day."

"Neal was my one true love," Emma said, not caring at all that she was sounding like her mother. "I'll never find anyone like him. No one will love me like he did."

"The only people who don't deserve happy endings are villains. You are the savior. So perhaps someone already does, and perhaps you'll find him."

Emma paused before answering. "Thank you," she said, her voice as weak as she had been feeling. "For everything."

"No problem, love," Hook replied as he stood up and began walking towards the exit.

As Emma was left to ponder about what he had just said to her, she slowly realized something (thankfully, he hadn't left yet). "What happened to the fourth person?"

"Hopefully nothing that can't be fixed," he said with a small smile, yet Emma saw the pain behind it. "And that's enough to keep me going."

Hook had gotten his fair share of misery too. But here he was, living his life two centuries later. He was trying to do the right thing, to be a hero, even though he'd lost so much. And he even dared to believe in a happy ending.

"Good night, Swan," he said as he left the diner.

Hope was the only thing keeping him alive. If it could still do so even after two whole centuries, Emma was willing to try.

"Good night, Hook," she replied, and after a couple of minutes, she headed home.

please review even if you hated it! (please) i appreciate constructive criticism too