Elizabeth Adams McCord was not someone who harbored self delusions. Though everyone close to her held some delusions about her. Namely her heart.
Metaphorical heart, mind you. They seemed to believe she had a heart of gold. She didn't. She had a heart of cold, hardened steel. Born from tragedy and responsibility.
Her little brother was the first to harden her heart, but it didn't come from something bad. Rather something wonderful. Her heart hardened when she held her brother for the first time.
Her father gently placed her new brother in her arms. He had already taught her how to hold them.
Lizzie looked down at the bundle in her arms, Willy's face was all scrunched up, and he was wrinkly. "Hi!" She said, grinning at the boy, "I'm your big sister. I'm going to protect you. Always." She swore, wrapping her pinky around his hand.
Her heart hardened again because of her brother. It was nothing really, just a fight between siblings, but she couldn't stop it from hurting.
"William! Stop! Go to your room, and stay there!" Lizzie had yelled, unplugging the tv.
The six year old glared at his sister. "No!" He stomped his foot to reiterate his argument.
"Now, Will!" She glared back, "Before I call Mom and tell her you're misbehaving! Again!"
He stuck his tongue out at her, "I hate you!" He screamed, running to his room. Not seeing his sister's face flash with hurt.
That was the first bad thing that had hardened her heart. And even though Will had apologized later that day, she never could get her heart back like it was.
Her grandparents death was the next. She had always been close to them, but especially her grandfather. Her grandma had died from an accidental overdose from her heart medicine. Her grandfather died the next day, heartbreak they had told her.
Less than a year later her parents died. She and William had been sent to live with her Uncle and Aunt. That had hurt her the most. She had never lived without her parents. And now she was thrust into a world without them.
Her brother hardening her heart was common occurrence after their parents death.
"William-"
"Don't call me that." He said, "Only they got to call me that. Not you."
She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Okay. What do you want to be called?"
"Will." The boy told her. "Call me Will."
She told people to call her Elizabeth the next day.
Elizabeth had been sent away a month after her parents death. It was the first time she was away from her brother for more than a week or two. The time away changed her. She learned to rely on herself and no one else. Her boarding school stressed independence.
She only went back to her Uncles and Aunts only because she wanted to see her brother. Elizabeth never liked it there. It was much too quiet, and her relatives weren't exactly kid friendly people. It was an 'out of sight, out of mind' type of situation. That changed her too. Her parents were always engaged with her, but her new guardians didn't give a rats ass. That's when she learned how to be a parent to Will, as well as a sister and friend.
Two years after her parents died, he stopped coming back for the holidays.
"Where's Will?" Elizabeth asked, confusion coloring her tone.
Her Uncle glanced over the top of the paper. "He stayed at his school, he said he had work to do."
She only left her room when they let that week.
It had been three months to the day after her 22nd birthday when she got the call.
"Are you Elizabeth Adams?" The woman asked, the tone of her voice making her stomach drop. She knew that tone from when her parents died.
God. Please don't be Will. Please Don't be Will. PleaseDontbeWillPleaseDontBeWill-
"Yes." She answered.
"I'm sorry to inform you that your Aunt and Uncle passed away yesterday evening, we are still determining cause of death."
Her breathing sped up, she had loved them even if they weren't the best. She cleared her throat, "Where's my little brother, William?"
"He is in my car now. You are to be his guardian, if you accept of course."
"Yes." It came out rushed, she took a deep breath to calm herself. "I'll have my lawyer fill out the paperwork."
The woman nodded, "Sign here," She pointed at a dotted line. Snapping the folder closed after she signed, "I'll go get him."
It competed for one of the longest moments of her life.
She heard hurried footsteps come closer and saw Will's face seconds later. The teenger ran straight to her side. Elizabeth looked down at him and back up when the lady appeared.
Will turned around and Elizabeth placed a possessive hand on his shoulder. "Thank you for bringing him to me."
She smiled, "Of course, good day Ma'am, Will."
The woman turned and left, and only seconds after Will hugged her tight, "You're all I have left." He mumbled into her shirt.
Sorrow, rage, and protectiveness surged through her as she ran a hand through his hair. She'd burn the world down for him. "You're all I have too."
They were never quite the same after that.
Many small things hardened her heart, but nothing quite like it had back then.
No. She didn't have a heart of gold.
Her heart was made out of steel that looked gold when light reflected off of it.
But she damn well had gold running through her veins.