Hello everyone! Thanks for checking out this story. I'm not new to fanfic, but I am new to Walking dead fics. I started toying with this idea a couple weeks ago, and my muse has gone crazy so I decided to go ahead and put it up on here and see if I got any interest. The first two chapters take place in the past and the rest picks up at the end of Alone. I suppose this story will be somewhat AU since I don't see things going this way on the show, but I may follow the story to some extent, and it will most likely at least intersect in some ways. This story is rated M for a reason, and I only recommend it to mature readers. I will be dealing with consent and non-consent, as well as gore, and foul language.
I also want to say that I write for you guys as much as for myself and really like to hear from my readers. I always personally respond to reviews and they definitely make me work harder to get chapters out. So, on with the show! Thanks for reading!
Chapter One – Shame We never thought we'd get so troubled, We could never think that much, It should never get this bad, So let the wind blow ya, across a big floor, But there's no one around who can tell us what we're here
For, Funny in a certain light, how we all look the same, And there's no one in life you can remember ever stood, For you, so
Shame, shouldn't try you, couldn't step by you, And open up more, Shame, shame, shame, Shame, shouldn't try you, couldn't step by you, And open up more, Shame, shame, shame
- Matchbox 20
Eight Years Before the Walkers
"Squirrel bring us more o' that shine!" Butch bellowed over his shoulder at the screen door.
Merle laughed and spit a stream of brown into the copper bucket at his feet. "That what you call your new bitch?"
"Shit man, that's what everybody calls 'er." Butch said after taking the last drink out of the clear Mason jar and tossing it next to Daryl on the couch. Then he swiveled his head around and scanned the yard full of junk through the dirty screen. "Where the hell you at girl!?" He yelled into the seemingly empty yard.
"Quit your yellin' Butch. Daryl'll go find 'er." Merle said, and spit a mushy bunch of chaw out of his mouth and into the little bucket with a plop.
Daryl glared at his brother and took a swig of his beer, making no move to do as his brother wished. "You go find 'er if you want the shine; I'm happy with my beer." To illustrate his point he finished off the beer he'd been working on and pulled another full can out of the 18-pack beside him.
Merle stood up and strode across the room, plucking the warm beer out of his brother's hand with a grin. "This beer's mine little brother, now go find that girl and our shine."
Daryl glared at his brother and cussed at him under his breath, which only earned him a cuff to the ear. After a moment he rose to his feet, pushed passed Merle, and out the screen door, letting it slam loudly behind him. He scanned the overrun yard and pulled a cigarette out of the pack he had in his front pocket, lighting it as he sauntered down the steps. He meandered around the back of the house, weaving around the myriad of junk cars and dead appliances in his way.
He spotted Butch's little distillery shed as he rounded the house, but didn't see any signs of life near it, so he scanned the woods behind it. After a moment he spotted a girl sitting on a branch of a large oak tree to his left. He assumed she must be "Squirrel" so he took a long drag on his cigarette and walked over to the tree.
When he reached it he looked up at the girl, seeing that she was staring down at him apprehensively. "Hey girl. What the hell you doin' up there?" There was a moment of silence, and then she swiftly swung around and scrabbled down the rough bark in a way that he wouldn't have thought possible if hadn't seen it with his own eyes. When she reached the bottom she turned to face him, her back pressed hard against the tree.
"What'cu want?" She asked softly. Daryl took her appearance in quickly, noting that she did look an awful lot like a squirrel. Her face was framed by boyishly short auburn hair that accentuated her round cheeks, and her body was small and lean. He also noted the fact that she looked to be no more than 14 or 15 – a bit too young for Butch's 35 years in his opinion, but it was none of his business – and she had a fading bruise around her left eye.
He took a step toward her and she shrunk even further back against the tree. It was immediately obvious that she was scared of him, but he didn't give a shit, he wanted to get back in to his beer before the other fuckers drank it all without him. "Butch was yellin' for you to bring us some shine. You should spend more time listenin' to your man, and less time up in trees."
She nodded and started to edge around him toward the shed. "Sorry" She mumbled as she moved past him. He watched her scurry to the shed while he finished his smoke, and then he moseyed on back to the house and his beer.
When Daryl got back inside he found Squirrel handing out jars of shine to Merle and Butch out of a wooden crate, her hands shaking ever so faintly. He walked over to his spot on the couch and grabbed a fresh beer as he sat down, popping the tab as he settled back into the overly soft seat. He kept his eyes trained on a spot of mold on the far side of the room, trying to ignore everyone around him.
"Hey baby, why don't you come and sit on your uncle Merle's lap?" Daryl's head shot up at his brother's words, suddenly preparing for a fight in case Butch didn't like what his brother had said. He quickly noted that the only person that seemed concerned by the request was the girl, her eyes wide and confused.
He wasn't sure why he gave a shit about her nerves, but it bugged him that the kid was being treated bad. "Shut up Merle." He growled.
Merle just laughed at him and patted his knee, grabbing the girl's wrist and pulling her toward him as she struggled to pull away. Butch watched the scene with a wide grin, drinking his shine without a care for his girlfriend's distress.
Daryl stood up on suddenly wobbly legs, "Let 'er go Merle." He quietly hissed, trying to defuse the situation, before it went south.
Merle glanced up at him lazily, "Sit down little brother. You're actin' like a bitch. Butch don't mind sharing a bit. Do ya Butch?" He shot the inebriated man a look that indicated he didn't really care if Butch did mind.
"Naw man, have at it." Butch chuckled.
Daryl sat back down with a grunt, as Merle succeeded in pulling Squirrel into his lap. Daryl knew that things were bound to turn bad at some point, so he decided to drink as much as he could before that moment came. Merle had a talent for causing trouble, and though Butch didn't seem to care what happened to his plaything right then, that didn't mean he wouldn't change his mind later.
Daryl took a long swig of his beer and glanced at his brother. Merle had one hand high on the girl's thigh and his other hand was rubbing her shoulder. "You're way to tense baby girl." Merle's hand moved from her thigh and reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a small pill bottle and shaking it slightly in her face. "But don' you worry, I got just the thing for that."
Daryl glanced nervously at their host, having the girl sit in his lap was one thing, but offering her drugs was a whole different can of worms. He was shocked to see the leer on Butch's face; not only did he not mind what was happening, he was getting off on it. He had always thought Butch was kind of a sick fuck, but he figured he would at least be possessive over his latest hook-up. It was looking like he had figured wrong, and Daryl could tell that the idea of gang banging this kid was pretty exciting to the other two men in the room. He on the other hand, didn't want any part of it. He wasn't into raping little girls, or sharing for that matter. So he looked away, and focused on the moldy wall once more while he slammed his beer.
Daryl was pulled back into the situation by his brother's slightly laughing voice, "Little brother this girl needs a beer to wash down them Perks." He looked down at the four white pills in the girl's open palm and felt his mouth wanting to gape open. Was Merle trying to get her high, or kill her? He mentally shook his head; none of his business. He pulled another beer out of the cardboard case and tossed it into his brother's waiting hand.
He heard the can pop open, "There you go sugar tits. You take those nice little pills and then you an' me can get to know each other better."
Suddenly the air of the trailer felt suffocating and Daryl jumped to his feet, his head spinning a little bit. He needed some air, before he popped like a balloon. "I'm goin' out for a smoke." He growled and strode out of the confinement of the hot single-wide.
Paul and Jimmy had showed up just before dark, bearing gifts of a case of beer and little baggy of crystal. Now everyone in the room was rip-roaring drunk and high as kites. Daryl wasn't a very big fan of meth, unlike his brother, but by the time the other guys had showed up he had needed something to take his mind off of what was going on around him.
Unfortunately the drugs hadn't really accomplished what he had been hoping for. Instead they had just given him even more of a hair trigger temper, and made him antsy as hell. His foot was tapping on the floor and the fingers of his left hand were drumming on his knee while he sipped what had to be his 12th beer of the afternoon, not to mention the half empty jar of moonshine between his legs. He was lit, and he knew it, but he was still pretty damn pissed about what he was watching.
By that point the guys had managed to get the girl stripped down to nothing but her bra and panties, and Daryl was absolutely sure she was no more than a kid at this point. Though her bra covered her small breasts, he was easily able to see that they were very much still developing, and through her lacy underwear he couldn't see much of a bush. He had briefly wondered how the kid had wound up at Butch's mercy, but it wasn't something he really wanted to ponder, so he had pushed the thought out of his head as quickly as possible by drinking more shine.
He was staring out the window across the room at the leaves that were scraping against the glass, wondering if he could just get the hell out of there and walk home without Merle noticing. He wasn't in the mood for his brother to tell him about how much of a pussy he was, but he was really done with this little party.
His thoughts were broken by the stereo getting turned up and Jimmy yelling above the now loud music. "Hey girl, why don' you give us all a little dance?"
Daryl's head snapped to attention at that, and looked at the girl in question. Squirrel was standing in the middle of the room, a blank look in her glassy eyes. She'd had two more Percocets, and the vast majority of a bottle of shine, but no meth at that point. Daryl had to admit he was pretty damn impressed that the girl was still conscious, much less standing. However, he wasn't any happier about the situation simply because he was impressed.
When Squirrel didn't promptly start dancing Butch reached out and swatted her ass, "Dance girl! We all want ta see ya shake that little ass." At the smack she jerked a little, coming out of her stupor, and started swaying slightly to the music, her hands going up to her hair and mussing up the two-inch long strands.
Merle laughed, taking another swig from the bottle in his hand. "That's it sugar tits, you know just what uncle Merle likes."
Daryl glared around the room. The rest of the guys were grinning and they're eyes were full of lust. What the fuck is wrong with 'em? How is a drugged up little girl a turn on? He shook his head trying to clear the drunken fog that was screwing with his mind. He needed to get the hell out of there, this party had just gone somewhere he didn't want to be. He was gettin' the hell off this train even if it wasn't at the station. He squared his feet on the floor, and scooted forward a little bit to stand. They could call him a pussy and a fag all they wanted, he was leaving.
He hadn't even really started to stand, but suddenly he was shoved back into the couch, moonshine splashing all over his shirt and pants. Squirrel had tripped over her own feet and landed in his lap, her eyes wide and scared again, some of the glassiness gone due to her surprise. Daryl shoved at her, trying to get her off of him and onto the couch beside him. "Ge' off me girl!" He snarled.
The room broke into loud laughter and he glared up at the men around him. "What's a matter little brother? You don' like girls in your lap no more? You turnin' fag on us?" Merle asked him through his snickering.
"Fuck." Daryl growled, "She just dumped a full jug a shine on me." He couldn't very well walk out now, his manhood was already in question. Damn girl had gone and fucked everything up for him.
The laughing died down and Butch stood up. He strode over to Daryl and the girl, roughly pulling her off his lap and shoving her onto her knees between Daryl's legs. "You better lick that up… Show that boy how sorry you are." He pushed her head down into his crotch and Daryl could feel her hot, ragged breath on him. He felt her take a deep breath, and then she started licking right next to the zipper of his jeans.
After a moment he realized that as much as he didn't want to, he was getting a little hard. He was completely disgusted with himself; he wasn't any better than the rest of them if this girl being forced to lick his cock through his jeans was turning him on. He ground his teeth together and pinched his side hard to get his mind back to rights. He needed to do something to fix this, or could never live with himself.
Right then the opportune moment came as Jimmy walked over and grabbed Squirrel by the hair, trying to drag her off him and to his own open zipper. Daryl struck quick as a cobra and smacked Jimmy's hand away. "Naw, she was lickin' me first. You jus' go sit down and wait your turn. I'm takin' her ta the back."
Daryl grabbed the girl's hand and pulled her up with him as he rose to his feet. He felt her struggle against his tugging as he pulled her down the short hallway to the spare bedroom, but didn't pay her any mind. He had to do something; had to make it right, and this was the best he could come up with.
When they got in the bedroom, he slammed the door behind him and started taking off his shirt. When he looked up at the girl he realized that the little walk had sobered her up immensely, and her eyes were wide with fear. Daryl shook his head and grunted. "Ain't what ya think." He pulled off his shirt and took a step toward her as she quickly tried to retreat from him. "Naw, don' act like that. Here." He shoved his shirt at her, forcing it into her hand before he retreated a step.
She stared down at the shirt, and then looked back at him with confusion. "Wha-Wha'chu doin'?" She asked shakily.
Daryl glared down at her, noticing for the first time just how small she was. She couldn't have been more than 5'1" and he would be willing to bet she didn't weigh 100 pounds soaking wet. He shook his head, that was completely beside the point, and he needed to focus if he was going to pull this little stunt off. "I'm getting' ya out a here. Put the damn shirt on." He wanted to sound calm, but his voice only came out as a growl.
She looked at him for another moment, obviously trying to see if he was serious. Then she seemed to decide he was, and quickly pulled the sleeveless shirt around her and struggled to close the buttons with shaking fingers. She was moving agonizingly slowly, so he moved in front of her and pushed her hands aside, deftly doing the buttons up. When he was done he roughly grabbed her shoulders and spun her to face the window. He heard her gasp, but ignored it.
"Now ya listen good. Yer gonna go out that window, and run as fast as ya can. Ya get the hell out a here, an' go on home." He had released her shoulders and she turned around to face him while he spoke. Her face was sad now instead of fearful, and he couldn't imagine why. He was saving her ass, what the hell did she have to be sad about?
She took a deep breath, "I ain't got no home no more. Momma's dead and Daddy's in prison for it. I ain't got nowhere to go."
Daryl jerked back slightly at the news, that wasn't what he had been expecting at all and he was a little bit at a loss. It really wasn't his problem though; he was already sticking his neck out for her, and she would just have to figure the rest out for herself. "Yer just gonna have to figure it out. I ain't got no place for ya to go. Now git on out a here." He turned her back around, and pushed her to the window.
When they got to the window she stuck her leg out of it and looked back at him. "Thanks fer helpin' me. Yer a good man."
Her words just made him feel worse about himself. This wasn't what a good man would do; this was what a coward did. He didn't like to think that he was a coward, but he wasn't delusional enough to think that he was a good man. "No I ain't. Now git." He gently pushed her out the window, and watched as she stumbled off into the dark.
Now he could only hope he wouldn't get his ass beat too bad for his little stunt. He knew those guys wouldn't be very happy with him when he came out, and they were every bit as amped up on meth as he was. It didn't bode well for how he would be feeling for the next couple of days.
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