The BreakDown

One and A Half Years Later

Things hadn't started like this. If perfect was a thing then next to Cody and Wade they were it but somewhere in the two years they had been married something had gone wrong. John couldn't put his finger on it and neither could Randy. And that they were sure made things worse. Tonight they were having what was supposed to be a romantic dinner at Blackstone Restaurant but things between them couldn't have been more awkward. To anyone walking by they looked like strangers on a bad first date but the wedding bands they wore said otherwise. Each man chewed methodically, taking glances at the other both waiting for one of them to say something...anything but they said absolutely nothing. Unfortunately at this point silence wasn't new for them. John could remember when they would talk almost all night about everything or talk all night about nothing at all. Not anymore

From across the table Randy watched the shadows from the candlelight flicker and dance across John's face making the man appear beautiful in the dim light. He could remember a time when he would have signaled the waiter for their check just so he could get back home and retreat to the bedroom with his husband. Randy could remember the nights he lay in bed panting from sheer exhaustion after a few rounds in bed with John. When that stopped, he thought, is when the final nail was hammered in the coffin. They used to kiss and touch each other all the time too. Not anymore

"How's your filet?" John asked trying to make conversation

"Pretty good." John nodded. "Your rib eye?"

"Perfect." Randy nodded and again they were wrapped in a constricting blanket of silence. They finished their meal without another word to each other and drove to their house, the house they once considered a home. John hung his keys on the hook by the door while Randy headed upstairs to get ready for bed. The older man walked around the house just trying to kill time before he had to go up to the room. He checked every window and door then the oven to make sure it was off then the doors and windows again before he disengaged the alarm only to set it again. He slowly made his way up the staircase which seemed miles long

"What's happened?" Randy asked as John climbed in bed

"What?"

"With us. What's happened with us? I don't understand."

"I don't understand either." John paused. "That's a lie – you're an emotional cheater."

"Excuse me?"

"I went through your phone Randy."

"John what are you talking about?"

"That guy you hired to work with you...I saw the messages the two of you sent back and forth to each other. I can't prove that you cheated physically, and I don't even think you did, but the messages I read were far too friendly. You even blew me off for lunch one day to eat with him. I can't remember what you said verbatim but it was something along of the lines of being too busy to have lunch with me...I think you had a deadline or whatever you said. That night while you were in the shower, after we'd had sex, he sent you a text about liking the restaurant where you guys went." Randy sat there with his mouth agape

"I never cheated on you John."

"Not physically, no but lying to your husband so that you can have lunch with another man is cheating in my book."

"John I,"

"Shut up Randy. What the hell else can you even say right now?"

"You don't talk to me anymore!" Randy yelled defensively

"Oh," John said with a humorless laugh. "That's a two-way street but you don't see me running around like some whore with another man!"

"Whore?! How fucking dare you?!"

"How dare I?! How dare I?! You have some nerve asking me that. And why are you being so defensive? I said like a whore I didn't actually call you one...but I must have hit a little too close."

"Fuck you...well wait; we don't do that anymore either. No talking, no sex...we don't even touch. When was the last time you touched me John?"

"I have no idea. We don't connect anymore for some reason and we're always prickly when we're around each other. It kills the mood and I don't want to touch you." That stung Randy more than he would ever admit

"So where does that leave us then?"

"In a really bad place." John swallowed hard to stop the tears he wanted to shed. "I'll go...you can stay in the house since you liked it so much when we saw it."

"Don't go. I don't want you to go."

"It's not like I want to leave...I never imagined us this way but – what are we doing here?" Randy didn't know. He lay back against the pillows while John turned to his side and lay down too. Neither man slept but both pretended to

Next Morning

Randy awoke after spending much of the night just looking up at the ceiling and noticed John's side of the bed empty. He placed his hand on the sheets and felt that they were cold to the touch meaning John had been up for a while. The younger man walked slowly to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Once he was showered and dressed Randy walked downstairs for his coffee and found John in the kitchen

"Oh – I thought you'd gone to work already."

"Technically I am working." John said tapping his laptop

"Can I have the rest of this?"

"Of course you can. Don't you always have the rest of the coffee in the morning?"

"Yes but that was before."

"Before what?" John asked draining his cup

"Well before last night and definitely before you accused me of cheating."

"I've never finished a pot of coffee and I'm not so petty as to finish one now just so you can't have any."

"When are you leaving?" Randy blurted out

"Today."

"So you won't be here when I get home?"

"No."

"John," Randy said his voice cracking. "I don't want to get a divorce."

"I don't either but we're miserable. You may not want to admit that but we are. What you said last night was truth – we don't talk or have sex or touch each other. That's not a marriage."

"Not a happy one anyway."

"Exactly. Let's give it time and see what happens. If feelings don't change then we don't have a choice."

"Where are you going?" The tall man asked breaking down. It broke John's heart to see it but then again he didn't like to see anyone cry

"Cody's."

"Okay." Randy said nodding. "I'll see you," He caught himself and stopped before saying he'd see John later because he wouldn't. "Take care John."

"You too Randy."

Later

"Come in." John said. Cody opened the door to the bedroom where John would be staying until he got his life together or until it fell completely apart...whichever came first

"Why's the light off Johnny?"

"I don't want it on."

"Dinner's ready."

"I'm not hungry but thank you."

"You have to eat something or you'll get sick."

"I'm not hungry right now Codes."

"Okay. Um, I'll leave a plate for you in the refrigerator if you get hungry later. Is that okay?"

"That's perfectly fine. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Want me to close the door again?"

"Yes please." Cody quietly closed the door behind him and walked to the kitchen

"Is he not eating?" Wade asked. His husband shook his head somberly. "This really sucks."

"I know. They're so cute together but Johnny had been telling me that he felt like him and Randy were drifting apart."

"How though? They've been married only two years."

"I have no clue. There has to be more to it than what either of us is being told."

"Is it agreed that each of us will do some digging?"

"You know I was going to dig with or without you. They can't get a divorce."

"I know."

"It'll ruin the dynamic of our friendships."

"Cody." Wade said eyeing his husband

"Well it will." The Englishman just shook his head

Two Weeks Later

"Hey Wade." Randy said hesitantly as he opened his front door

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? We're friends."

"You want to talk about John don't you?"

"Yea so let me in." Wade said stepping into the house

"Do you want something to drink?"

"No. How about we skip the formalities?"

"Is John getting on your nerves already? I feel like you're over here to get us back together."

"Don't you want to be back together?"

"Of course I do but I'm not sure if it's because I don't want to feel like a failure at my marriage or if it's because I truly want to be with him."

"Okay whoa...you're not sure if you truly want to be with him?"

"I've had too much time to myself to think about this. At first I thought yea, I want this to work because I love him so much but then I thought about how hopeless I'd been feeling with John around so then I said hey, maybe I don't really want to be with him. If we get back together I don't want to feel that way...I can't feel that way for the rest of my life."

"Are you kidding me? The two of you are going through a rough patch and you're feeling a little woebegone so you want to get a divorce. This is life and it's not always perfect."

"What the fuck is woebegone?"

"Look it up."

"What if he doesn't want to be with me Wade?"

"Why wouldn't he want to be with you?"

"You know the guy I hired to work with me?"

"Yea."

"Well he and I..."

Cody and John

"He skipped lunch with you for him?!" Cody shrieked. John tugged on his ear to stop the ringing

"Yes."

"That's so wrong. I never thought Randy would do something like that."

"Well that makes two of us. He didn't cheat physically,"

"He was on his way. He and what's his face are bonding emotionally and once someone's in your heart,"

"Cody please."

"Sorry."

"But the truth of the matter is he and I were rocky before I snooped in his phone."

"I remember you telling me about things being weird. Where did things get really bad for you guys?"

"Cody I wish I could say because then I'd know where to start. It was gradual but all of a sudden if that makes any sense."

"It doesn't. Try again."

"...we got in a rut. Go to work, come home, have dinner, and watch a little TV, sex and then bed...over and over again. We used to cuddle on the couch and talk then we ran out of things to say so we stopped talking and because we stopped talking there was no need to talk and cuddle. It put us on edge. I found myself dreading going home because I knew it would be the same thing and it didn't feel natural. We stopped having sex. It seemed like a chore."

"Oh my goodness."

"You know what's weird I'm not even mad about the texts. There's so much other shit going on that I feel as if we get that solved the texts won't mean anything."

"What about Randy working with him?"

"What do you mean?"

"If the two of you, I mean when the two of you get back together how are you going to feel with them being in the office together."

"Oh Randy will have to fire him. I won't be comfortable with that."

"I don't imagine so. Are you opposed to seeing him?"

"What do you mean?"

"I wanted to have a little get together and you're living here so I can't not invite you and Randy's still friends with Wade so,"

"You can invite him. I know how to make myself scarce if need be."

"Okay. It won't be for another few weeks or so." John nodded as he stood

"I'm tired so I'll be in the room if you need me."

"Alright."

...

"He was texting someone else." Wade said walking into his bedroom

"I know." Cody responded as he folded his husband's underwear. "I talked with Johnny while you were gone."

"What the hell?"

"I know."

"That pissed me off."

"I know. I was ticked too."

"Randy's also not sure if he truly wants to be with John."

"I'm not sure Johnny's all that sold on the idea either. I want them to be with one another almost as much as I want us with each other but I'm keeping my nose out of it this time. If they want my help then I'll help but otherwise," Cody shook his head as he picked up a stack of folded clothes. "I take marriage very seriously so I'm not going to butt in." Wade fell back onto the bed and covered his face with his hands

"It was only two bloody years." He said

"Right...I slapped you around and we still stayed together. Did you want to leave me when I did that?"

"The first or the second time?"

"Either."

"No but I wanted to strangle you when you broke my TV."

"So I can hit you but I better not touch the electronics?"

"I don't want you violently touching anything around here Love." Cody laughed

"Violently touching."

"Should I have said offensive?"

"No. Violently touching sounds so much better."

"Is John having dinner with us tonight or in his room again? I feel like there's a rebellious teenager living here."

"I didn't ask but I did ask if he were opposed to seeing Randy." Wade lay there thinking

"Oh! For the gathering you want to have."

"Yes." Cody said climbing on the taller man and kissing him

"Where are Godiva and Bowie?"

"With Johnny. They've been hanging out in his room lately. I think it's cute."

"I miss the little fur balls but if they like Uncle John then so be it." Cody smiled

"I love you Wade."

"Aw, I love you too. I'm glad we still like each other."

"Amen to that honey." Cody sighed when he felt his husband thrust his hips up slightly. "Wade."

"What?"

"You're being fresh."

"How am I being fresh when we're married? You know it'll be good."

"It's the middle of the day."

"What are you saying to me right now? The time of day never mattered before."

"We generally don't have guests here either."

"John's not coming up here so let's get it on."

"Sweet talk me why don't you."

"For what?"

"Goodness,"

"I'll do that thing you like."

"What thing? I like all the stuff you do."

"Exactly my point so what do you say." Cody pondered briefly

"Let me shut the door." Wade smiled as Cody hopped off the bed and almost skipped over to the bedroom door. He sat up and removed his shirt in preparation. Cody smiled when he saw his husband waiting shirtless for him on their bed. After all the years they'd been together just the sight of the older man was still enough to have Cody hot and ready to go. He kissed Wade with passion and fervor as he straddled him on the bed. The young man slowly ground his pelvis into Wade and listened to the larger man groan. The men hastily undressed each other and fell onto the bed in a naked heap. Cody watched as Wade moved down his body and licked at his semi-erect shaft. His husband was a generous lover but oral sex just wasn't his thing. He assumed there would be a full moon tonight as he lay back and enjoyed the feeling of being orally pleasured for a change. Wade moved his mouth up and down as his right hand manipulated and tugged his husband's balls. Cody moaned loudly. Wade didn't do this often but he definitely knew what the younger man liked. He brought Cody to the brink of an orgasm then stopped

"Oh god – what," Wade said nothing as he parted the man's legs then thrust inside of him. He allowed himself a self-satisfied smirk when he saw Cody's abs tighten and a little spunk surge from his cock. "Fuck," Cody drawled giving his dick a tug. "Pound my ass Wade." Outside of the room John was on his way down the hall to do some laundry when he heard the men on the other side of the door

"Okay then." He said turning on his heel and going back the way he came. Since he wasn't in the mood to listen to his friends have sex as he washed his clothes John realized he had to go back to his house although he didn't want to. If he washed the clothes he'd packed again he was sure he'd wash holes in them. In his room John grabbed his wallet and keys then left the house. He drove as slowly as he could without getting a ticket the ten minutes over and sighed when he saw Randy's car parked in the driveway. John unlocked the front door and stepped inside heading straight to the room. He didn't see or hear any signs of the other man as he headed to his closet for the clothes he desperately needed. Gathering as much as he could in his hands John left the closet almost running into the taller man

"Holy shit!" A shocked Randy yelled

"Where did you come from?" John asked offhandedly as he bent down to pick up the items he'd dropped

"I was in the bathroom. I just took a shower."

"Oh." The older man replied still bent over. "Oh." He said standing and seeing that Randy was naked

"What are you doing here?"

"Well technically I still live here but I came back for more clothes."

"Why didn't you just pack more when you left?" Randy asked in a snarky manner

"Because I didn't...and let's get one thing straight – if I want to come back here for more clothing or for anything I can. I don't need any shit from you."

"All I'm saying is that,"

"I don't want to hear all you have to say." John said going back to his closet for a duffel bag

"What the fuck is your problem? You're the one who left and you're the one who came back here unannounced."

"I don't need to announce myself."

"Well I would have liked some kinda of warning."

"For what? Do you plan on having someone over that you don't want me to know about?"

"You're being really nasty about this John. I don't want to fight with you and if this is how we're going to interact with one another then we definitely have no hope." John sighed heavily as he zipped his bag on the bed

"I don't know what to say to you. I thought after some time away I'd know but I still don't."

"It's been weeks and I don't know either." Randy said instinctively reaching out for John's hand. It was the first time in a long time that the men had touched without it feeling forced