FEEL GOOD MOMENTS
She didn't know how long she stood outside his door…standing in the hallway like an idiot as she tried to build up the courage to knock. She had gone by the docks first, but she wasn't too surprised not to find him on his beloved ship. Since their return back from New York, he had spent most of his nights here…in the very room she was standing in front of now.
She had asked him why that was when they had been trekking through the woods in search of her parents and he said, "As much as I love The Jolly Roger, it doesn't have indoor plumbing."
It had made her laugh…which was crazy considering they were right in the middle of a rescue mission, but she just couldn't help it. He had simply smiled at her as they carried on and although the moment was quick, it was one of those feel good moments her father had told her to look for.
Those feel good moments came up more and more lately and Hook had been a big part of that. Which was why she was currently standing outside his room…after these last few days she was desperate for more.
It had been a week since Neal's funeral and she had hardly seen Hook since. She knew he was keeping his distance for her sake…thinking she might need some time alone to grieve. And although he had her best interest at heart, it wasn't what she wanted. She missed those feel good moments with him and dammit…she just missed him.
And with that thought, she squared her shoulders, took a deep breath…and knocked. For a moment, she couldn't hear anything…no footsteps or any sound of movement. She was just about to wonder if he was even there when the door suddenly opened, causing her to jump back slightly.
There was a moment of surprise on his face as he looked at her before his lips curved into a soft smile. "Swan."
She had never seen him look this…relaxed before. He still had on his leather pants, but his feet were bare…which was the reason why she couldn't hear him coming. His coat and leather vest were gone, and his black shirt was untucked, hanging loosely around his frame and a few buttons were undone, exposing an enticing view of his chest. .
"Hook," she finally managed to say before swallowing a nervous lump in her throat. "I…sorry…I know it's late, I just…"
He took a step back. "Come on in, Swan." When she hesitated, lingering in the hall as she silently debated on what to do, Hook decided for her by slipping his hook in the belt of her coat and tugged her inside.
"There you go," he said closing the door behind him and then turned to lean against it. "What brings you by, Emma?"
"I wanted to see you," she answered bluntly and when she saw the flicker of surprise in his eyes, she couldn't help but smile. "Does that surprise you?"
"Maybe a little." His lips tilted up in a smirk as he walked over to her. "I missed you, too."
She shook her head. "Now, I never said I missed you, Hook."
He just grinned as he reached up to fiddle with her hair. "You missed me."
She rolled her eyes, but couldn't deny it because it was true…she missed him. "I snagged these downstairs," she said as she fished out two beer bottles from her coat pocket. "I know it's not rum…"
"I like a good beer now and then, love," he said while plucking both of them between his fingers. "Take off your coat…have a seat."
She did as he asked and draped it over the winged chair and then eyed the bed uneasily before deciding that was dangerous territory. So instead…she plopped herself on the floor and leaned her back against the foot of the bed and stretched out her legs.
Hook stepped over them and sat down to the left of her, close enough to where their shoulders touched. He handed her back her beer and after quickly clinking it with his, they both took their first sip.
"Where's Henry this evening?"
"Regina has him." Relaxed for the first time in a long time, she let out a long sigh as she tilted her head back on the bed. "She's cooking dinner for Robin and Roland…she wanted Henry to be a part of it."
"How's he fairing?"
She smiled softly before tilting her head to look over at him. "He's doing okay…being around so many people that love him definitely helps. David had always tried to fill that father figure in his life…he stepped back when Neal came back in the picture, but with Neal gone again…he's starting to go back to it."
"Like teaching him how to drive his truck?"
Emma laughed. "Heard about that, did you?"
"The whole town heard about it, love."
"David still says his neck hurts from the whiplash…Henry wasn't very good at breaking."
Hook took another long pull from his beer. "He'll get the hang of it…kid's a fast learner."
"Yeah." She gives him a sidelong glace as she presses her lips together. "He practices every day, you know."
He snorts out a chuckle. "I'll steer clear the streets, then."
"I meant what you taught him."
He whipped his head around, brows lifted in shock. "What?"
"He's always fiddling with that rope you gave him…it's kind of cute how he always sticks out his tongue when he's concentrating. And at night…he'll be scribbling furiously in his notebook by his window while looking at the stars."
"Really?" he asked as his lips curved in wonder.
"Really…that night meant a lot to him, Hook."
"As it did for me," he admitted, smiling fondly at the memory. "He…had just lost his father and I thought maybe teaching him what I taught Baelfire would somehow…bring Henry closer to him." He shook his head with a laugh as he lifted the bottle for another sip. "Stupid, I guess."
"No," she said firmly as she placed her hand on his knee. "It's not stupid at all, Hook…it was sweet…and exactly what Henry needed."
Hook's eyes shifted to her hand and after setting his half empty bottle aside, he covered it with his own. He took in a shaky breath when she lifted her hand so their fingers could link intimately together.
"I never thanked you for what you did for me that night," she said as she finally looked up from their joined hands to his face. "For taking Henry away from Storybrooke…for keeping him safe."
"It was nothing."
"It was everything," she corrected as she squeezed his hands. "I know you didn't want to leave me…I saw it in your eyes when I first asked you to take Henry away…but you didn't protest or argue, you simply said, As you wish. I nearly broke down right then and there…I was so relieved that Henry would be far away from the danger…and that you would be with him."
He looked into her eyes…so big, so beautiful that he always seemed to drown in them. "It was very hard to leave you, Swan."
"I know," she whispered.
He lifted their joined hands and kissed her fingers. "I was terrified that I'd never see you again."
"Me, too," she answered softly as her eyes flickered to his lips. "That's why…"
"You kissed me?" he finished for her, smiling softly. "In front of half the town?"
She licked her lips as she remembered the kiss. The way she reached up and framed his face with her hands before covering his mouth with her own. The feel of his hand in her hair and the curve of his hook snaked around one of her wrists. She knew her parents were just behind her, that Henry was standing just behind Hook…but none of that had mattered. All that mattered was that she had fallen for this man…she trusted this man with every fiber of her being…and she wanted him and everyone to know it.
"I didn't want you to leave without you knowing."
"Knowing what?"
"I chose you." When he didn't say anything…when he only continued to look at her with those piercing blue eyes…she continued on. "It was always you, Hook…I need you to know that. If Neal were still alive…"
"Emma," he protested with a shake of his head. "You don't have to say anything else."
"Yes, I do…I need to tell you this…you need to know." She took a deep calming breath to settle her nerves. "If Neal were still alive…"
Here it comes, he thought as he closed his eyes to prepare to hear it. I'd probably be with him…but he's not here and you are…I loved Neal, but…
"I'd still be here with you."
His eyes flew open in shock, not sure if he heard her right. "What?"
"I'd still be here with you," she repeated as she lifted their hands and pressed his against her cheek.
The gesture completely unraveled him as he dropped his forehead to hers. "Emma…"
"It's true," she pressed on. "If Neal was still in the room down the hall…I would have walked right past it and knocked on yours."
His breathing grew heavy as his emotions began to overwhelm him. "Swan."
"Back in Neverland…you told me I had to choose, but the truth is…I didn't have to make a choice because I knew deep down there was no choice but you and I want…need for you to believe that."
He pressed his lips together as he gave her a quick nod of understanding, but words still failed him.
"I feel good when I'm with you, Hook…and I don't want that to go away…I never want that to go away and I swear to god, Hook, if you don't kiss me right now I think I'll go cray…"
His lips pressed urgently against hers before she could say another word. His brows furrowed as he slid his hand to the back of her neck then slid his fingers through her hair, moaning softly as he felt her tremble at his touch.
Emma gripped his shirt, tugging him closer as her mouth began to move more urgently with his. The kiss deepened and on a desperate groan she whipped her body over until she was straddling his lap. Her fingers grappled with the buttons of his shirt, while his hand and hook slipped under her sweater.
The feel of his warm hand and the cool metal of his hook on her skin made her shiver as her own hands began to explore his exposed chest. When he pulled away from the kiss only to bury his face in her neck, leaving hot open mouth kisses on her skin, she wrapped her arms around him and slipped her fingers through his hair.
A part of her knew this would happen when she knocked on his door, but now that it was she couldn't quite believe it. He was touching her, kissing her…making her feel alive for the first time in forever. And she never wanted it to stop.
Hook groaned when she suddenly went up on her knees, looming over him while his head tipped back onto the bed as she devoured his mouth her soft lips and enticing tongue. She touched his cheeks as their lips finally parted and then she smiled as she nipped his lips before pushing herself up on her feet. When she held out her hands to him he gripped one and set his hook in the other, letting her pull him up on his feet.
Toe to toe, eyes locked, Emma kicked off her Uggs and then gave him a knowing smirk as she lifted her arms above her head and waited. Getting the picture, he grinned as he lifted her sweater up and over her head, revealing a bright red silk bra. The sound Hook had made, realized she had chosen well before coming over here…a part of her knew it would lead this.
She guided his hand down to the fly of her jeans, and then cupped both hands behind his neck while he began to undo the buttons…one by one…with his hand. She then felt his hand and hook slip inside the hem of her jeans and slowly tugged the jeans over her hips until they fell to her feet.
Once she stepped out of them, she stood before him in nothing back her matching red bra and panties and the look on Hook's face as his eyes took her in made her pulse spike and her heart race.
"You're a vision, Swan."
She couldn't help but blush. "Hardly."
"You're stunning," he murmured as he carefully slipped his hook beneath the strap of her bra. "I quite like this undergarment, Emma…what's it called?"
"A bra," she said and then gasped when his knuckle grazed the tip of her breast.
"And this?" he asked as the curve of his hook skimmed the red silk triangle below her waist.
"Panties," she breathed as her eyes fluttered closed.
"And they match…how clever."
"I thought of you when I put them on."
His eyes flickered up to hers, but they were still closed. "Did you now?" he asked as he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her body against him.
"Yes," she said, groaning at the feel of her half naked body pressed up against his. His shirt was unbuttoned but still securely on, so as she reached up and grazed her teeth over his chin, she whipped his the black material off his shoulders.
He quickly shrugged his good hand out of one sleeve, but then lifted his hook when the shirt was caught on the other. "I have to take this off."
"Let me," she said, covering her hands over his hook before he could do it himself.
When he just nodded, she twisted the hook and pulled it off, tossing it aside before working on the contraption that held his hook. Before she could slide his shirt off, she quickly stopped her before exposing his bare handless arm. "I don't show myself without my hook to most people, Swan."
Her eyes lifted to his. "I'm not most people."
He swallowed hard. "No," he whispered. "You're most definitely not."
And with that said, he let her tug off the contraption, along with his shirt, revealing his most vulnerable part of him to her for the first time. "I know…it's quite hideous, isn't it?"
She didn't say anything, or look at him…she just continued to run her hands over and around the nub, before slowly lifting it up to her lips. She heard his sharp intake of breath when her lips lingered where his wrist should have been and then shivered when his hand lovingly cupped the back of her head.
On a desperate groan, he dipped his head towards her, claiming her lips in a passionate kiss as her hand curled around the nub of his arm. Emma wished she could go back in time and change things for him…to bring back the hand that was so cruelly taken away from him.
She wished she could take away all the pain, all the hurt and agony he had endured. She so badly wanted to soothe him, to make him realize he wasn't alone anymore…that he was a part of a family again and a home. She was his home and he was hers…she believed that with all her heart, and although her feelings for Hook terrified her, she was even more terrified she would lose it.
Neither of them felt the gentle warmth that grew under Emma's hand…they were too involved in each other to notice. However, the sudden bright shimmer of light was hard to ignore and they both pulled away in wonder, staring at the shimmering sphere that spun around the hand that covered Hook's missing hand.
Suddenly a quick slap of wind gushed over them both, causing them both to gasp and stumble. "What the bloody hell was that?" Hook asked once everything quieted down.
"Hook," she whispered in awe. "You…you…"
"What?" he asked suddenly and then looked over to where she was staring. "What are you…?"
His words trailed off when he saw the most unbelievable, wonderful, terrifying thing. He was holding hands with Emma…his fingers were linked with Emma's…with his left hand. His hand that he didn't have moments ago was now there…in front of both their eyes.
He snatched it away quickly as he stumbled back in disbelief. "What did you do, Swan?" he asked with wide eyes. "What did you do?"
She covered her face with her hands. "I don't know." Her voice muffled beneath her hands. "I swear, I…I didn't know what I was doing."
"You obviously did something," he said as began to prod and poke his new hand with his old. "My bloody hand is back…even the scar I got when I was seventeen…right there on my palm…and my ring…it was my brother's ring, and I…it's like it never happened."
Her eyes widened when she suddenly remembered what she had been thinking while he was kissing her. "I wanted to take away the pain…to heal what had been hurt."
"What?" he asked looking up from his hand to her.
"When you were kissing me, when I was covering my hand over the nub…I had wished I could go back and change what had happened…to take away your pain…to give you back the hand that was taken from you…I must have…my magic must have…I don't know, I just wanted to soothe you…to make it all better."
He looked at her a moment, his heart breaking as he saw the tears shimmering in her eyes. He then stepped forward and carefully, gently, cupped her face with both his hands, before leaning down to press his lips softly to hers. Tears spilled her cheek and he swept them away with both of his thumbs. Her hands reached up and circled her fingers around both of his wrists.
"You wanted to soothe me," he murmured against her lips as his hands covered hers and then lifted them away so that their fingers can link. "You wanted to make it all better."
He then lifted one joint hand and kissed her fingers and then the other, lingering on the one that she had just given back to him. He lifted her hands on his shoulders and then trailed his down her arms, over her shoulders, down her sides and then settled at her hips.
She gasped when he lifted her off her feet and then laughed when he spun her around towards the bed. He cradled her face again as he kissed her again while her fingers tugged and pulled at his pants. Once they were off, he placed the palm of his hand on her forehead and playfully pushed her back onto the bed.
She smiled as she crab crawled backwards while he followed suit, looming over her on his hands and knees, then doing a push-up down to cover his mouth over one of her breasts.
She felt his warm, wet tongue slide under her silk bra, causing her to grip his hair with her hands. "Hook!"
He paused and simply looked up at her with a devilish grin. "Not anymore, sweetheart."
She let out a breathless laugh as his face now loomed over her. "Right…I guess I can't call you that anymore."
"Killian Jones, at your service, milady."
She smiled up at him as she pressed her hands against his cheeks. "I know who you are, Killian…I've known for a long time."
His eyes held with hers as the emotions began to overwhelm them both and since no words were needed, he simply bent down for a kiss, sighing in pleasure as they took what they needed from each other.
He had two hands now and he was going to use that advantage by touching every inch of her. They rolled together in a naked tangle of limbs and when he found himself beneath her, he glided those hands down her back while she assaulted his chest with her tantalizing mouth.
He reared up, closing his mouth over one of her breasts and she arched her back like a bow…offering herself to him while her fingers clenched urgently in his hair. "Killian…now…right now."
He flipped her over onto her back. "Say it again," he murmured before burying his head between her legs.
She gripped the sheets as she felt his tongue slide between her folds. "Killian!"
As he continued to draw her up with his mouth he reached up and covered both breasts with his hands, rubbing, caressing, as he tasted her deeply. She said his name again as she came…long and hard and leaving her breathless as he reached up to nuzzle her neck.
He took her hands, linked their fingers and placed them above her head as he lingered over. "Look at me, Swan."
Still breathless, she locked eyes with his as she wrapped her legs around his waist, lifting her hips up to him. They both shuttered out a breath of pleasure when he finally slid deep, deep inside her.
They began to move together, slow at first, savoring the moment, losing themselves in the other as their eyes still locked. Killian then buried his face against her neck as he quickened the pace, groaning at the feel of her surrounding him…loving the feel of her warm breath panting against his ear.
"Faster," she whispered as she fought against his hands, wanting desperately to touch him. As soon as he let go, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders as she dug her teeth into his shoulder, reveling in the feel of him plunging inside her again and again.
Knowing they were both close, he finally leaned up on his hands, allowing him to drive himself inside her, faster, deeper. She gripped his forearms as she arched up to meet him…thrust for thrust as they came closer and closer.
Groaning, gasping, they tumbled over together and then collapsed back onto the bed…drenched with pleasure and exhaustion.
Later, as they lay tangled together on the bed, Emma rested her head against his chest, smiling as her hand playfully linked and danced with his new hand. "Killian?"
"Yes, love?"
She tilted her head up so she could look at him. "I love you."
He smiled softly as he pressed his lips against her temple, breathing her in as he wrapped his arm around her, bringing her close. "I love you, too, Emma." He tilted her chin up and kissed her once, twice, lingering on the third as their lips absorbed. "And I always will."