Hi everybody, I'm Mirax Terrik, the prettiest girl in the world.
AMPRIS YUY: NO you're not. I am, and everybody knows it.
MIRAX: Shut up, baka. Anyway, none of this stuff belongs to us and blah blah blah blah… but
it is very, very, VERY humorous so please read it and then worship us like the goddesses that we are.
AMPRIS: This is a make believe story an-
MIRAX: Obviosly.
AMPRIS: As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by my friend (Gives Mirax The Heero-Glare-of-Death), this is all totally make believe and comes from the
weird and twisted minds of two schizophrenic, adolescent, hopelessly lost girls.
MIRAX: So, to start things off, let's introduce the cast.
ALL GW PILOTS: Why have you kidnapped us and brought us here?
MIRAX: Well boys, you see we're really obsessed with you all.
AMPRIS: Especially with Heero. (moves a little closer to Heero)
HEERO: Omae o koruso.
MIRAX: O-kaa-y. Well, anyway, to start our leading role, the female heroine Dorothy is to be played by none other than our beloved Gundam pilot… Quatre!
QUATRE: Noooooooooo! Why do I have to play the female part?
DUO: Because, buddy, you're the most feminine of us all.
WUFEI: Yeah, stupid onna.
QUATRE: (to Duo) YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE LONG GIRLY HAIR!!
DUO: (weeping) Why'd you have to go and hurt my feelings like that?
QUATRE: I'm sorry Duo, I…I didn't mean it, honest.
DUO: (aside) Ha ha, gets him every time.
AMPRIS: Well, if we could please get back to the casting proceed-
QUATRE: (interrupting) I don't have to wear a skirt, do I?
MIRAX: Oh, no Quatra, not if you don't want to.
AMPRIS: I think he should.
MIRAX: Leave my Noble in the Desert alone. (To Quatre) You don't have to wear a skirt, but Heero, as the Tin Man you have to wear a large metal trashcan.
HEERO: Anyone who dresses me up has a date with his…oh, sorry, her maker.
DUO: Hey man, that's my line!
MIRAX: Not in this show Duo. Today you're the Cowardly Lion. We get to spiral curl your hair into a mane. (trying hard not to laugh)
AMPRIS: And you have to wear a kitty suit. (smiling evilly)
DUO: Sweet! I've always wondered how I'd look with curly…(notices all gazes directed towards him)…uh, I mean… I mean… Uh…
(All stare at Duo in a frightened manner)
DUO: I was just curious, okay! Don't judge me!!
TROWA: …fag…
(Duo runs away crying)
AMPRIS: You have no room to talk Trowa. You're going to be the brainless, or memoryless, Scarecrow.
TROWA: …
MIRAX: Well you are the thinnest one.
TROWA: Shut up, I know I have an eating disorder. It's genetic okay. I mean look at Catherine.
MIRAX: Point taken. And last but not least, Wufei gets the part of the Wicked Witch of the West.
AMPRIS: And YOU have to wear a skirt.
MIRAX: So you can get more in touch with your feminine side.
(Mirax and Ampris look at each other gleefully)
WUFEI: What the #*^%!!!!!!!!
MIRAX: Now Wufei, if you're going to be in our fanfiction you can't use that kind of language.
WUFEI: Shut up onnas. $#*&!!!!!!!! %@**>!!!! Son of a %#*^~!!!!!!!
AMPRIS: all right, that is IT buddy! I'm TIRED of having to bleep you out!
Into the skirt! (walks menacingly toward Wufei with a black dress. Mirax holds him from behind while Ampris forces it on him.)
WUFEI: INJUSTICE!!!!!!!
(All others laugh hysterically)
HEERO: You make such a pretty cross dresser.
WUFEI: Shut up Yuy! Nataku will stomp you into the ground. NATAKU!!!!
AMPRIS: Sorry Wufei. We put the club on him. You'll get no help from your Gundam this time.
WUFEI: * Blast * all of you! Hey wait, what happened? That's not what I meant to say.
AMPRIS: Yeah, well we had to take out the vulgarity. Sorry.
WUFEI: INJUSTICE!!!!!!
IIIIIINNNJJUUUUUUUUSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIICCEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MIRAX: anyway ON WITH THE STORY (whispering aside) can someone please go find Duo?
OTHER DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Wizard of OZ: Treize (who else)
Good Witch: Noin
Wicked Witch of the East: Relena (Sorry. Ampris likes Heero a lot, so we had to
get rid of her)
Todo: Sandrock
Munchkins: Maguanac Corps
Mayor of Munchkin City: Rashid (We know it's a stretch, but go with us here)
Flying Monkeys: Scientists and Howard
Mayor of Platinum City: Zechs
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Behind the scenes…
MIRAX: Whoo! We finally got everyone into their costumes.
AMPRIS: Yeah, I mean that was tough strapping down Wufei to get all that makeup on him.
MIRAX: And I don't know what the big fuss was all about. I thought he looked very pretty.
AMPRIS: Man, it was really tough to get Duo's costume done.
MIRAX: Yeah, I don't think he really liked it when we put all those bows in his hair.
AMPRIS: And all the others were running around in circles calling him a little sissy boy.
(they laugh)
MIRAX: But we sure shut Heero up when we slammed that metal trashcan down over his head,
(they laugh harder)
MIRAX: Man, if Sailor Earth ever finds out what we did to Duo…
AMPRIS: I'll bet she'd kick our a-
Suddenly a thundering voice is heard from behind the sets.
SAILOR EARTH: You did WHAT to my Shinigami!?!
MIRAX: Well, speak of the psycho Duo worshipper.
AMPRIS: Hey Sailor Earth. How are things?
EARTH: Until you get those ribbons OUT of Duo's hair, I REFUSE to leave
this fanfiction!
MIRAX: Okay! Okay! We'll take them out! Just as long as you leave!
AMPRIS: Oh Duo, be a dear and come here a sec, would you.
Duo walks up. You can still see the tearstains running down his chubby
Cheeks.
EARTH: They are NOT chubby!
DUO: …sniff…sniff…what do you guys want now? You're not going to make me dress
in drag like Wufei are you?
AMPRIS: Hey, now that's a great idea…
EARTH: Don't even think about it! Now would you please take out those ribbons?
DUO: Yay!
AMPRIS: Shut up, you.
They proceed to disen-ribbon (we made that word up!) Duo.
MIRAX: There! Now leave, Sailor Earth!
EARTH: Haha. I'm not going anywhere! I'm staying to make sure you don't
do anything horrible to Duo.
MIRAX & AMPRIS: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
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(Ampris got carried away)
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
Wait, wrong movie.
On a lonely battlefield somewhere in the deserts of Arabia…
QUATRE: Hey, Heero look to port. What's that big thing coming towards us?
HEERO: How should I know idiot? You're the Arabian one, you tell me.
QUATRE: Oh, … yeah.
TROWA: …genius…
QUATRE: (hurt) Hey, I heard that.
DUO: So Quatra, what is it? It doesn't look like more Virgo's coming to fight us.
(We are treated with a shot of Nataku gleefully jumping up and down on destroyed Virgo suits.)
QUATRE: Ah curse words. It's a gigantic sandstorm.
WUFEI: Oh nut bunnies! And I just waxed Nataku.
DUO: (Laughing hysterically) Oh my God… you-you actually wax your Gundam!
HEERO: (Not even cracking a smile) Yeah Wufei, that does sound a little
prissy.
Suddenly all the Gundams are engulfed in a massive sheet/storm (sorry, we
disagreed on that one) of sand. Quatre, caught unawares because he is laughing
at Wufei, hits his head against the side of his cockpit. When he comes to he
sees swirling dust all around him. Out his viewport is a rather large black
and white cow, seemingly just flying through the air.
QUATRE: What is this, the movie Twister?
The flying cow is replaced by a black-garbed Relena riding a bicycle and
wailing "HEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOO!!!!!
QUATRE: …?
Suddenly, Sandrock comes to a complete stop, and a crunching sound is heard.
Quatre slowly opens the cockpit hatch and looks around.
QUATRE: Sandrock, I don't think we're in Arabia anymore.
Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Dragonba… ahh…um… ahhh of Gundam
Wa… ait. Um…weeell…I uh… guess…the-the next part. (aside: Is there going to be
a next part? "YES!" ) Well okay, then stay tuned for…something,…anything.
We kind of ran out of caffeine and sugar at this point, so please forgive us,
and PLEASE review!