Hey everybody! This is supposed to be sarcastically funny, so don't take it seriously. Unless you want to, of course.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
How to Write a High School SasuNaru Fanfiction!
As a fan of fanfiction and Sasunaru, I have read many stories on this website concerning the two characters in a romantic relationship. After I performed a recent search on this website, I have found that stories containing SasuNaru, or just the two characters in general, are more popular than SasuSaku fics and NaruSaku fics combined.
A popular setting for many of these stories, as most readers are already aware, is High School.
The problem is, some people just can't seem to find a good story line or idea to work off, so I've created a simple starter guide on how to write SasuNaru fanfiction!
Let's get started!
Step 1: Where Am I?!?!
Create your high school and town.
This step is actually fairly easy. You don't need to know every street in your town or what color the school's walls are. Such things are insignificant, and though they may add body to your story, readers don't generally care.
First: Name the town, Konoha. It doesn't matter if the town is set in Japan, Canada, America, or the Czech Republic. Its name is Konoha.
Second: Name the school, Konoha High School, or something similar. No need to confuse the readers.
Third: Sasuke and Naruto's houses. Sasuke always lives in a mansion. Most of time it's dark and dreary. Naruto either lives in a house/apartment by himself which he somehow manages to keep even though he's a minor, an orphanage/foster home, or he lives with Iruka/Jiraiya. One of the two people.
Fourth: You need at least one major class room, and sometimes a gym (depending on what classes the two take). The classroom has desks and a teacher's desk. That's you all you need to know.
Fifth: THE CAFETERIA IS CRUCIAL! Almost all social interaction involving the school happens in the cafeteria/eating area. In most cases, the tables are separated into clicks.
Step 2: Naruto's Corollary
Naruto is either the new kid or the character who's been there since birth.
Naruto is the class clown and a total dunderhead with no fashion sense. But he grins a lot. Because of this, he usually sits at the unpopular table during lunch.
The town and student body hate him. If someone loves him now, then they hated him at one point in the past. This is, in some way, because of Kyuubi.
Naruto has some sort of dark secret, usually concerning his parents, Kyuubi, the Akatsuki, or just plain, downright evil, townspeople. Sasuke is expected to help Naruto overcome whatever dark secret he has.
Naruto loves ramen. It's his basic diet. There are no exceptions.
Naruto wears orange. Once again, no exceptions.
Step 3: And the Raven Said, "Nevermore." (Sasuke's Rule)
Sasuke is the most popular guy in the school. He's physically perfect, has perfect mannerisms, has perfect posture, speaks only to craftily insult people, never smiles, glares at everyone, and is very, very intelligent.
This will change when Naruto comes into the picture.
Sasuke plays some kind of sport, and is the star of the team.
He either lives alone, with Itachi, or with Kakashi.
He's still emotionally disturbed about his parent's murder.
He doesn't date anyone. Not even Sakura. So he's single.
He realizes his feelings before Naruto does.
He's so rich, he farts money.
And that's about it.
Step 4: Like the Sun and the Moon, or Something Equally Cheesy
Naruto and Sasuke are opposites. No matter what. Sasuke is dark and cold, Naruto is bright and happy. Sasuke is popular, Naruto is scraping the bottom of the barrel. These roles are not reversible. Because of their opposite-ness, they are attracted to each other and eventually fall in love. Emphasize this!
Step 5: Of Sakura
Sakura is Sasuke's rabid fangirl. She hates Naruto.
Sakura is very popular and the most beautiful girl in school. She's reasonably smart and makes fun of Naruto.
Her best friend is Ino.
She always has pink hair. There is no mention of hair dye or something equally believable. Ever. Somehow, her natural hair color is pink.
She ends up alone or with Lee.
Step 6: I'ma Kill You Dead! (Bad Guys Axiom)
Itachi, Kyuubi, and Orochimaru are villains. Itachi's role can change (see below for details). Kyuubi and Orochimaru's roles cannot.
Orochimaru, if present, is a pedophilic teacher who hits on Sasuke.
Kyuubi can be many things.
Kyuubi can be an ax murderer who is somehow involved with Naruto. He can be a voice in Naruto's head if Naruto is schizophrenic. He can be a friend from Naruto's past who was a bad influence. He can be a drug lord, terrorist, you name it. As long as he's evil.
Step 7: Kishimoto's Other Characters
Kiba is Naruto's best friend. Gaara is quiet, psycho, and usually emo. He's Naruto's other best friend.
Chouji is his friend too.
Shikamaru is still the lazy genius. He's interchangeable as Naruto's or Sasuke's friend.
Lee is also interchangeable and plays on whatever team Sasuke's on.
Sasuke's definite popular friends include: Neji, Tenten (who's dating Neji), Hinata, Shino, and Sakura.
Ino is Naruto or Sakura's friend.
Sai is just there. He doesn't seem to be anybody's friend. But he draws a lot.
Tsunade is the High School's principal.
Jiraiya is Naruto's grandfather, guardian, or boss. He is still perverted.
Itachi, if present, is a total psychopath bent on killing Sasuke, a flamboyantly gay guardian of Sasuke, or a righteous big brother who killed the Uchihas for some greater cause.
Kakashi is a teacher. Always. He can also be Sasuke's guardian. Iruka is also a teacher. Kakashi and Iruka are gay for each other.
Step 8: The Plot, DUN, DUN, DUN, DUUUUUNNNNNN!
Sasuke and Naruto hate each other. Sakura wants Sasuke.
Sasuke and Naruto are somehow forced together.
They slowly fall for each other.
Naruto helps Sasuke overcome Itachi/Orochimaru.
Sasuke helps Naruto overcome Sakura/Kyuubi/the townspeople.
The clicks in school fall apart when they go public.
Sasuke and Naruto fuck like bunnies.
The end.
And that, my dearies, is how to write a SasuNaru high school fanfiction!
Thank you, thank you very much!