Sam was screaming in agony, Lucifer ripping him apart as Michael sat idly by and watched. "Lucy" as Michael referred to him, was laughing maniacally, using torture technics he was sure Dean hadnt even learned during his time down here. And of course, this was a whole other level of hell. He cried, screamed, couldn't breathe, the blood in his veins literally boiling. And then he was snapped out of it, Dean's worried eyes boring into his, shaking hands gripping his shoulders so tightly, he was afraid they'd crumble under the pressure. "Sammy! Listen to me! it's not real! Stay with me, man!" Sam jolted to reality, shaking and sweating. "Wait, what...where...holy shit." He looked around, still feeling the edges of torment on his skin, fuck.
"Are you okay?" Dean leapt up and fetched his brother a glass of water. "Deep breaths man, come on"
Sam gulped down the water like he hadnt had a drink in ten years. He choked, still gasping for breathe, and coughed. "Jesus Christ." Although the last thing he believed in right now was god. His sheets and boxers were soaked in sweat, his hair dripping. He felt like he'd been through the flames of damnation, and everything hurt like he'd just walked out of Hades not five seconds ago. Lucifer's leering smirk was burned into his brain. /Don't scratch the damn wall, Sam./ He chided himself. But...the memories came without his permission, like the visions had years ago. And left him with the same agonizing migraine. Maybe even worse. He shoved the heels of his palms into his eye sockets and groaned, fingers shaky and skin slick from sweat. When would it end? It'd been happening more and more frequently. To the point where he was almost scared to /think/ or breathe or move. Fuck. Dean patted his brother on the back as he was choking.
"You'll be okay, Sammy." Dean said comfortingly as he wiped Sam's damp hair away from his forehead. Dean got up, reached for a towel and starting wiping his brother's face. "Tell me what you're going through, I can help!" Dean starting massaging deep circles into Sam's back, in attempts to relax him further.
"I'm fine." He murmured, shaking Dean's hands off and standing, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it. It dangled between his lips as he dug through his bag and got a new pair of boxers. He stripped out of the soaked ones he was wearing- not really caring that Dean was there, he was his brother, and it wasn't the first time they'd changed in the same room- and pulled on the new pair. The new ones hung loosely, settling haphazardly underneath his hip bones. He'd lost a lot of weight in the past few months. In fact, he was all pointy bone and wiry muscle. He could count every rib, and his cheeks were hollow, long shadows cast by his cheekbones. Sometimes, his eyes were so sunken and shadowed, they were barely visible. And who knew his jaw was that angular? He rubbed his empty, concave stomach, flicking cigarette ash on the floor and staring out the window. He was a haunted man.
"Whoa" Dean muttered under his breath, as his brother stripped. Why..Why was he watching? 'Damn, Winchester. You're not gay!' But damn, it was hard to look away from the naked lower half of his brother's body. As Sam settled back on the bed, Dean had to remember to dart his eyes back up from Sam's boxer line, the V in his hips teasingly poking off the top of them. "Sammy you should eat." said Dean, taking note of his brother's lean form. "Do you think you can handle that? Probably healthier for you than smoking" Dean added with a smirk.
"I think I'd probably puke." He growled, not putting his cigarette down, he stretched out on the bed, legs spread wide and feet planted on the floor, he was essentially laying like a whore. He stared vacantly at the ceiling, that same memories running over and over in his mind, more and more clear. Jesus, it was fucked up. 'Oh? Lucifer? The devil? Yeah, he inhabited my body, but I overpowered him we went down into the cage together where he tormented my soul for a year and a half. No biggie.' He snorted to himself and shivered when that devil smile came back to mind, the psychotic laughter that rang through his dreams, the words taunted in his ear. He swallowed hard, sweating again and sucking in a harsh breath. It made his stomach look even smaller, his bones sticking out inches above it.
'Dammit, Winchester, eyes on his face!' Dean reprimanded himself as his eyes ravenously scrounged his brothers body "What can I do to help?" Dean damn near cried out desperately. "There's gotta be something!" 'Man up, Winchester' he thought to himself angrily. He got up and sat next to his brother, keeping eye contact with his face and strictly his face. Though he was tempted to look down he punished himself. It was hard going through this to be honest. To see Dean like this was harder than anything else. Why did he have to be so weak? But he couldn't eat, and sleep was a nightmare since it ended up with the man screaming as loud as he could so someone could wake him up. Biting his bottom lip he shook his head.
"It's okay Dean.. There's nothing you can do.." Dean had a new look of frustration on his face now.
"That's not good enough!" he didnt' know where this anger was coming from, but he knew it had to be taken out. "Sammy, we need to do something - anything!" "We can't do anything Dean!" He complained, glaring at his brother Sam moved.
"It's fine Dean.. I mean it.." Dean chewed his fingernails, something he only did while he was nervous. "Sammy..." he was desperate now, begging. His ribs was showing as he moved, trying to find a shirt that could cover him up. "I said I'm fine, you being here is more than enough." Dean noticed he was checking out his brother while he was looking for more clothes. What the hell? Pulling a shirt over his head. "I'm sorry.. But we're going to be just fine" He said, smiling. "We need to get through this.." Dean swallowed thickly and nodded curtly. He wished he could do something to help, though. Moving closer he put his arms around Dean's neck. Pulling him into a hug. "We're going to be just fine.."
Dean buried his head into Sam's collarbone. "I know, Sammy"