He Who Carries Death Finds Hope
By: M14Mouse
Summary: Morgan really didn't want to be here but he needed to make his peace as well.
Disclaimer: Don't own them.
Once…a long time ago, Morgan heard that the past was called a blessed act of oblivion.
He liked to call it bullshit.
He thought of more of a mosaic with some pieces dulled with age. There were fade memories of baseball practices and family sitting around the table. Some of the pieces were bright and clear like as a raising sun like the day his father died or his many meetings with his "coach."
He didn't let those memories define him…become him. He didn't fall into the cycle of numbers. He refused too.
He would be a lair if the news didn't hit him like a ton of bricks..
He was dead.
Despite being in isolated from the prison population, he was killed.
Prison doesn't take kindly to child killers.
The friends that knew offered him things and advices on what to do.
Hotch offered him counseling and time off.
He turned it down
But when his family called…their offer made him unsure.
They offered him thoughts and questions that he didn't want to answer.
They knew what happened and asked questions. Of course, they would. It was all over the news. They didn't know how far it when. He would never tell him. His mother carried enough guilt about raising him and his sisters by herself.
He would carry that secret to his grave.
They called of course…they wanted to know if he was coming to the funeral. They wanted to know if he was alright.
To be honest, he didn't know what he wanted or if he was alright.
But he still went.
He didn't go to the funeral. They were busy on a case. His personal demons could wait no matter how much Hotch insist that he should go now.
No matter how much time had past, he didn't want to open old wounds and stare at people that could have done something. There would be victims that he could have saved when he was younger.
Too much angst, guilt and regret in one room would be too much to handle even for him.
He still went to stare at a dead man's grave.
It wasn't fancy. It was a plain and simple piece of grey marble engraved with a name and a date. There a few flowers lay on the grave.
It was nice…he supposed.
He supposed if he knew why he was here to might help.
It wasn't to give him a sense of closure or sense of accomplishment.
It left him feeling…confused.
He felt something vibrate in his pocket. He dug it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. A small grin played on his lips as he saw Garcia's name. Hotch was the only one that knew he was here. Everyone else thought that he was visiting family. He hit the button and put his phone to his mouth.
"Hey, baby girl. What can I do for you?"
"Mint or nuts?" Garcia said.
He chuckled softly.
"What?"
"Mint or nuts cookies for the Christmas party."
He laughed.
"No laughing. This is a very important decision."
"I wasn't laughing…I was thinking," He said with a grin.
"I was telling her that mint would be the best choice. There is a strong chance that someone would have a nut allergy. Did you know that….Ouch, Garcia!" Reid said.
He had no idea why Reid was in the office with Garcia. Probably, he would have to ask later.
"No cookies for you, Mister."
"I am merely trying to give Morgan all of the facts."
"No…you are trying to influence Morgan's choice."
"Well…"
"Shh…you. Now, Morgan…Mint or nuts?"
"Why don't you make both? I am sure that both will be delicious."
There was a long pause over the phone.
"That is why I like you best. Now, I leave you for your family time. Say hello for your mom and sisters for me. And Reid…don't dare touch that button…!" Garcia said.
"What does it…" Reid's voice said before he cut off.
He laughed as he ended the call.
He stared at the grave.
He realized now why he was here.
He didn't closure. He needed to know that he wasn't defined by his past. Maybe, when he started, he was. But not now.
He just needed to realize that.
End
A/N: I wish everyone a Merry Christmas if you celebrate it and a Happy New Years!