AN: Hello! First time posting something for Orphan Black and it's probably shit but tbh I'm high right now so I don't care I just like writing. This is a take on THAT scene in 4.7 with slight changes I guess? Anyway I hope you like it :)

The railing's cold under her hands and a breeze is swirling about her boots.

She needs to do this, there's no other choice

She takes another swig from the bottle trying to drown out…something. She wants peace. She wants normality.

She doesn't want to be here

When Beth shows up, she throws the bottle at her. It shatters on the ground and Beth's still there. Talking talking and Sarah's not listening. She knows what she needs to do.

Her wrist is bleeding.

She knows what she wants and she knows what she needs to do. She knows what'll make everything easier. She leans over the railing as a train goes past. It would be so easy, so simple but Beth's there…they need her…she needs to finish this…

They don't. No one needs her.

And then Beth is gone and Sarah's gripping too tightly at the railing, willing herself to let go. She wishes she hadn't thrown away the last of her drink. How much would it take to make this easier?

Kira

Felix

Cosima

Alli…

No

Don't think. Just do.

She leans back, the next train won't be for another 10 minutes. That's the best way to do it. It's cold now and she wishes she wasn't alone but of course that's the best way. No one should see this.

She shuts her eyes and takes in her last few moments, rain starts falling and cars drive by too fast.

She inhales ice and exhales fire.

Any minute now.

She leans over again.

It's not hard

-Oi Sarah!

No no no

-Wait. Please

She shuts her eyes. This can't be happening.

-We can talk about this. Felix is pleading

She considers. Talking. They need her.

Calm calm calm

Sarah steps down from the railing and into Felix's arms. She's warm now. And scared. Scared of what she was about to do.

So close

She barely registers the walk home but soon she's sat on a bed with a mug of tea.

-I was gonna… is all she says

-But you didn't. Felix says

No one knows what to say, the silence echoes and crashes.

She just wants to sleep forever.

-I'm sorry.

-You don't need to be. Felix says, stroking her arm

-I was gonna leave you all.

-We'll talk about this tomorrow. You need to sleep.

Sleep

She changes and gets into bed and everything's crashing down on her. She was going to jump. She wanted to and that was what scared her the most.

The emptiness dances around her

It'll be alright tomorrow

It always is

Rinse and repeat