The first time it happened both Sam and the Colonel had been cornered by a bunch of very enthusiastic locals.

Enthusiastic, well manic, as some of them pointed some very larger spears in their general direction, well her general direction.

Daniel was no use, as he had accidentally had a bit too much of a drink that turned out to be fermented. And Teal'c being the helpful man that he was, was off helping Daniel instead of helping them diffuse a rather awkward and potentially mine filled situation.

There had been nothing, nothing in the USAF guidelines about what to do when the locals were insisting on your CO planting one on you.

Well at least it's nothing more. One part of her mind supplied and she really, really wished that she could kick it.

Unfortunately it means nothing more. Another, even more demented part of her mind offered and Sam couldn't hold back the wince. Which, she had the sneaking suspicion that the Colonel had also caught it, and probably has misinterpreted what that meant.

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

She saw one of the men point at her obviously, and gesturing in a way that was unnerving. The two exchanged looks, her wide eyed one met his oddly resigned one.

Well that was insulting.

"I'm not entirely sure why they're so adamant about this." He commented with a forced casualness as he tried to shift slightly in front of her.

"Probably because I'm a woman Sir." Sam shot him a look as she retorted, pushing herself back, flattening herself against the wall.

"Not much we can do about that."

"I would hope not."

"There is absolutely nothing in the USAF guidelines about this. We need to talk to someone when we get back."

"Just what I was thinking Sir." The fact that they had a similar thought process, caused to look at him as he started weighing their options.

Suddenly group surged forwards from Sam's right, managing to turn her to her left and forcing her into the Colonel's side She stumbled slightly as the butt of one of the spears dug into her back.

His arms automatically shot up to stop her from falling forwards and knocking them both sideways. They both looked at each other as the men in the crowd started hollering at the pair.

"If she is not yours, then we will claim her as ours." Sam opened to mouth to snap back at the hollering natives, turning around towards the mob, but she was yanked back didn't have the time to stifle the noise of surprise as the Colonel unceremoniously kissed her.

And it wasn't much of one, even though her own mouth was wide open, his remained shut tight. The Colonels thin lips caught her upper lip and quite a bit of teeth. In fact it was probably the most awkward kiss she ever had the misfortune to be a part of. Despite that, Sam was shocked to feel a slightly thrill run through her veins, her nerve endings tingling ever so slightly.

After a minute standing still, locked in a very uncomfortable embrace, she pulled back and glanced around. The crowd had dispersed apparently their little show had sated them for the time being.

Maybe it was a bit longer than a minute.

Sam coughed pointedly and the Colonel all but leapt away from her, the force of which caused her to fall backwards onto her backside.

She shut her eyes and bit down on the groan that was rising up her throat and glared up at the man, who was now extremely sheepish.

"Sorry about that, I didn't see another option, I really didn't fancy having to tell Hammond that my new second was carted off by a bunch of primitive natives." He held his hand out, but tried to joke and she smiled grabbing his hand.

"That would be awkward, not to mention the paperwork." Sam dusted herself down and looked up at him mischievously, and he heaved a breath in relief.

"That would be a pain in the ass I agree. I am sorry though Captain, I fully understand if you-" She held up a hand to stop him and waved him off.

"You probably saved my life, the last think I need is to be carted off by a caveman. I'm sure it's not fun." They both stopped and took a moment to consider the option before shudder and turning away. Though the matter seemed to be settled, Sam could feel a heat rise in her cheeks, much to her chagrin. She chanced a glance at the Colonel and thought that she could spy a flare of colour high in his own cheeks.

"Sooo..." Daniel stumbled out of one of the tents and walked past them in nothing but his boxers.

"Hello there dah-ling!" He tipped an imagined at Sam, before weaving to and fro towards the tree line. Teal'c emerged from the same tent and shot the pair the most world weary look she had ever seen, before he headed after the drunken man.

"Well that was unexpected." The Colonel commented idly leaning forward and watching them wander off.

"Was that supposed to be a British accent?" Sam looked down at the Colonel in bafflement, before shaking her head and walking towards the other unoccupied tent. As she walked away she could've sworn that she heard the Colonel say something.

"Oh Captain my Captain until next time." She turned to see if she had heard correctly, but the man in question was whistling cheerily, hands shoved in pockets and heading after the other two.

Next time had better be better, the passing thought had Sam both kicking herself and smiling to herself.

If a next time ever happened that is.

Looks like my muse might be back. A girl can only hope, and dream! I hope you enjoyed this, it certainly was fun to write, and I will admit that the inspiration was in some part thanks to Tel nok shock! Thank you!

Also if any of you enjoy Sherlolly fanfiction, I am totally recommending "The Consulting Detective and his Pathologist" by pinkrosepictures. I've never recommended other stories before, but I was enthralled by it today. Wonderful stuff.

Anyways, expect about 10 one shots for this sporadically and hopefully in chronological order.

Hope you enjoy!