Bait. Tino was bait. It was a promotion, Mathias had said. You get to be closer to the action than ever before! But how the hell was 'professional bait' a promotion from research assistant?!

Tino checked his equipment for the third time while the others were finishing getting the cage ready for his dive. It was a shark cage, but Tino wasn't shark diving today. He'd been shark diving before, and it was fun. This put a lump in his throat. What could be scarier than diving with sharks, you ask?

Diving with a merman.

Homopiscis, as they were properly known, were a recent discovery that shocked the entire world. All those myths and legends of mermaids were true after all! It sparked a new field of study in marine biology which quickly caught fire. However, gathering data had been a very slow process. The homopiscis species was incredibly allusive and it was only out of pure luck that they had been discovered at all. This particular research team was lucky enough to to have found a relatively stable subject that didn't seem to migrate anywhere far and had a normal daily habit. Even with this, though, the subject was hard to document. They did know, however, that the male merman liked to sun himself on the rocks of a cliff, his tail blending in almost seamlessly with his environment, and the only thing giving him away was the mop of messy short blonde hair on his head. The boat had to stay at a distance and search with binoculars because if they got any closer he would slip back into the sea. If the distance wasn't bad enough, the fog and mist and sea foam sometimes blocked their view for days! They'd been out here for a month and only managed to catch glimpses of their subject, and no valuable research had been done. It was getting pretty hopeless on deck...until something happened that changed everything.

After weeks of keeping their distance, Mathias had Lukas take the ship in just a little bit closer, hoping the merman had gotten used to their presence by now. Somehow they didn't scare him off, and that only got the captain giddy. They got closer, and closer, and closer than they ever had before!

And then the merman woke up from the little nap he was taking, looked over at the boat, and disappeared. Drats.

But he wasn't gone for long. Tino was taking a sample of the water, as ordered, when just twenty feet away, a pair of blue eyes surfaced. The assistant was so caught off guard that he shrieked and fell backwards, and the merman disappeared. Mathias was in the middle of yelling at him for ruining the biggest opportunity they might ever have when Emil nudged his brother and Lukas followed his gaze. The subject was back, and he was staring. Glaring, really. Everyone was quiet as they stared back, too afraid to move in case they startled it away again. Tino was frozen because it looked like their subject wanted to flip their boat over, and he wondered if he could. They didn't know anything about him, so anything was possible.

A few minutes later, the merman sunk back below the water, and while it was an opportunity lost, everyone was in higher spirits that another was possible. Their subject was curious, Mathias exclaimed over a round of drinks that night. Curiosity was good. It was something they had in common.

Tino had a feeling that wasn't the case, but he didn't say anything. It really did look more like the merman was pissed about them being in his territory.

After that, their subject came around a few more times, but none of those times were recorded properly. Why? Because he kept showing up around Tino for some reason. Only when Tino was near the edge of the boat cleaning something would they be graced was his presence. Quite frankly, it creeped Tino out. It got Mathias excited, though.

So here Tino was, being lowered into a metal cage about to be sent afloat, his team hoping it would work and Tino hoping it wouldn't. He wasn't keen on this idea at all. The difference between diving with sharks and diving with a merman was that Tino was aware of what the sharks were capable of, he knew what their intelligence was, and he knew just where on the nose to bop them if they got too close. He knew nothing about any of that for a species like this. What if homopiscis was highly intelligent and had tools? The bars would be useless if he showed up with a spear! His crew mates ignored him, though. Before releasing the cage near the cliffs, Mathias even smirked and said, "Sometimes science requires sacrifice!"

Tino was going to transfer the second he got back to land.

It was cold in the water, but that wasn't what was giving Tino goosebumps. He was alone in a shark cage, the boat had gone away to help lure the merman out, the water was murky, the only sound was that of his breathing in the respirator. If he hadn't been told otherwise, he probably would have babbled nonstop in his nervousness to Lukas through the radio. The chatter might scare the merman off, was the reason he was given.

Ten very boring and simultaneously nerve wracking minutes later, Tino finally saw a dark shape pass by. It could have been anything, Tino told himself. A passing fish. A trick of the light? Nope. His hopes were shattered when it happened again, and he was absolutely sure he saw arms in that silhouette. No spears, though, which was the only comfort he could get from this situation.

"He's here!" Tino alerted the rest of the crew, and Lukas told him to hurry up and turn on the underwater camera. The assistant did as he was told and started recording, and he looked around for the dark shape again. It seemed to be circling him. Like a predator. Mathias told him to not be ridiculous and stay focused on the tast at hand. It didn't seem that ridiculous to Tino. He was pretty sure they valued the data they'd been desperately and unsuccessfully trying to acquire more than his life right now.

The allusive creature circled a few more times, just out of range for any good video footage, and Tino was starting to think that maybe he really was safe in the cage. That is, until the merman broke his slow circles and suddenly came forward to grip the bars, making Tino flinch and swim to the far side of the cage. The camera was sending a live feed to the boat, and in his speaker he could hear the cheers of Mathias, Lukas, and Emil as they FINALLY acquired footage of the first wild homopiscis ever. Tino was not feeling as joyous as them right now as he was stared down by the sharp eyed merman just a few feet away.

He was huge. Bigger than they thought he was. At least, his tail was. If he had legs he might have been about as tall as Mathias, but the grayish fishy appendage made him seem much bigger than that. Tino squeaked out his observations into the mic, desperately trying to keep calm, but everything he noticed didn't help that. There were a few scars on the merman's body, small white lines etched into the skin of his torso and a long one running diagonal along the slightly paler underside of his tail. This individual was not new to conflict. Judging by the strong build of his upper body, he most likely won most of those battles. Perhaps from defending his territory? The same territory Tino was invading?

Swallowing the lump in his throat and moving on, Tino noticed that the subject's eyes looked different so close up. They were blue whenever he surfaced to glare at Tino from a short distance, but down here they seemed to have a hint of green in them. And...they weren't glaring. At least, not as much. Was that a good sign? Tino sure hoped so.

The merman stayed where he was, just staring at Tino, picking him apart like the human was doing to him. Emil told him in his earpiece to zoom the camera in a little bit and when Tino looked at the screen to adjust it as he was told, the subject finally let go of the bars and moved. The merman was quick to swim to the other side of the cage, barely having to flick his tail at all to provide the speed, and Tino yelped as he just barely got out of the way when the merman arrived.

"H-he stuck his arm in!" Tino told the others in a rising panic. "He's trying to get me!"

"Calm down, Tino, he can't reach you. Just stay in the middle and you will be fine."

Tino did as he was told, but this forced him to be just out of arm's reach of the creature, and he would rather press his back to the bars on the other side again. But if the merman was out to get him, then that would be a very bad idea. The merman started circling again, this time right outside the bars, and his eyes were continuously locked on the live bait in the cage at all times with a strange expression that Tino couldn't decipher.

"Woah, keep the camera steady!"Mathias demanded. "This is awesome! Check out the caudal fin, it looks like he's designed for gliding. Can you see if the dorsal fin is spined?"

"U-uh, yeah," Tino was hardly paying attention to the voices or the camera he clutched to his chest, he was just focused on being out of reach and keeping his eyes on the merman at all times. Though he was scared out of his mind right now, he couldn't deny that watching the creature slide through the water so gracefully was exactly what he'd been dreaming about, too. He just wished the circumstances were better so he could fully enjoy the sight. He'd probably have to watch the video later to really bask in the amazing honor it was to be the first person ever to document and experience something like this.

Just as quickly as he came, only after a five minute encounter, the merman disappeared back into the depths. Tino exhaled a blast of bubbles in relief that it was over and the boat could pick him up now. He survived. Now to celebrate with vodka on the way back to shore and-

"Ah!"

"What is it?"

"He's back!" The shadow returned and Tino was quick to turn the camera on again after having just turned it off. "Why did he come back? Wait, he's swimming differently this time...oh god, what is that?!"

"Calm down Tino, what do you see? What's he doing?"

"He's...he's got something." Tino's first assumption was that it was the spear he feared getting stabbed with, but what the merman held in his hand was too small to be a spear. It wasn't until he came close enough to grab a bar with his free hand did Tino recognize what it was.

"Is that a fish?"

"Yeah..." This was getting strange. Why did the merman leave and then come back with a...

Tino's train of thought left him when the merman reached through the bars again and Tino instinctively inched back from the freshly killed fish that was now held right in his face.

"Tino? Tino, the camera isn't getting this, what's going on?"

"He's, um..." The assistant struggled to decipher it himself. "He's holding it out to me?"

"What, like an offering?"

"I-I don't know!" Tino moved back a little more and the merman's hand moved like he was beckoning the smaller forward. "I mean, I think he is, but I'm not sure if-"

"What are you waiting for? Take it!" Mathias commanded from his end excitedly. "What if it's a peace offering? Maybe he's trying to see if we're friendly! This could be the turning point in homopiscis research if we get on the good side of one of them! Maybe he'll let us tag him and sing us a song and scan him and-"

"I highly doubt he would do all of that so quickly," Lukas interrupted. "But I do suggest taking it."

Tino gulped. Alright, then. He was going to take the fish. He was going to get closer than anyone ever had to a giant dangerous sea creature who could easily take this as a chance to grab his wrist and strangle him against the cage bars. Tino sucked in a breath of fresh air from his tank and sent a quick prayer for safety skyward, and then he slowly lifted his hand and took the offered herring, wary of every little movement the merman made until his arm was well enough away from the subject to exhale in relief. It wasn't a trap, it really was just an offering.

Wait, just an offering? No, it wasn't just an offering, it was an offering from a homopiscus! This was...this was the greatest thing that had ever happened in all of marine biology, and he got it on camera! A strange new species that looked so similar to humans was demonstrating some kind of communication, perhaps even a cultural social gesture! The exchange of food no doubt meant something along the lines of peace, and Tino was starting to get giddy with what this meant. He looked at the merman, who stared at him like he was expecting something, and Tino was suddenly aware that maybe he was. Maybe this was a two-part ritual and simply accepting the fish was not enough.

"I think I need to give him something," Tino said, and the others wondered what he meant. "I mean, I feel bad that I don't have anything to give back! He went out and caught this fish for me and it feels like I should...oh, wait!"

The man got an idea and reached into the collar of his black skin-tight scuba suit. He wasn't sure if it would work, but it was worth a shot. The merman watched as he rummaged around for a clasp and undid the silver necklace he was wearing. It was a souvenir from Hawaii that said 'Aloha!' on a single silver bead and it was all he had to offer, but when he held it out to drift in front of the merman's face, it seemed to do the trick. The merman's eyes widened at the trinket and he was almost as careful as Tino had been when reaching into the cage to take it. The chain floated around his larger fingers as he held it up to inspect it, and Tino smiled behind his respirator. A moment later, the merman looked up and...was he smiling, too? That was a smile, wasn't it? Tino made the merman smile!

"Good work, Tino! I'm going to give you a real promotion when you get back," Mathias proclaimed, but Tino didn't care much about that. The fear he felt melted away into sheer thrill, and he dared to move a little closer.

Bad idea. Before he even saw it coming, the merman reached into the cage again and grabbed Tino's arm, pulling him towards the bars, and Tino let out a helpless cry. The camera caught the sudden attack before it was dropped to the bottom of the cage and Tino heard Lukas call his name and tell him they would be there in a second. Tino struggled to get free but the merman's hold on his wrist was strong, and another arm wrapped around his lower back, pinning his front against the bars just inches from the merman's face on the other side. Tino was about to scream when his respirator was taken out of his mouth and replaced with...

...Uh...

The boat's engine could be heard blaring towards the shark cage, and the noise made the merman suddenly stop and retreat. Tino, now free, kicked towards the surface immediately upon being let go and grabbed hold of the top bars as he gasped past the pressure on his lungs from the water. His heart pounded like a jackhammer in his chest while the boat pulled up alongside the cage and his crew mates yelled his name, and Tino called back, telling them he was okay and to get him the fuck out of the water, NOW. They did as they were told for once and the terrified assistant snuggled into the towel draped over his shoulders as he sat shaking on a bench with Emil checking him for injuries, just in case. Apparently he sounded like a dog being kicked over the radio. Tino was too shell-shocked by what just happened to tell them to shut up.

OOO

At the end of the day, they reviewed the footage as they sailed back to port. There were drinks all around and Tino was determined to get drunk tonight. The alcohol would calm his nerves, he hoped. It was like his heart couldn't stop beating in his throat since getting out of the cage, even after many hours since the encounter. Lukas said it was the adrenaline.

Seeing their subject up close on camera did not help calm Tino down. Quite the opposite, it only made his fingers twitch and he downed a few more shots to steady them. He really couldn't decide whether that experience was the best or worst thing that ever happened to him. It would be the best thing that happened in his career, yes, but the psychological damage would probably require some therapy. The others either didn't notice or were ignoring Tino's jitters in favor of partying. It was a great day for them and the science of marine biology and that's all they cared about.

That transfer better take Tino far away from this insane team.

When the footage neared the moment that Tino saw his life flash before his eyes, he wanted to look away. Sure, he was curious to see what might have set the merman off, if anything, but he didn't really want to relive that moment so soon. What did Tino do to warrant that attack? Was it an attack? The more Tino thought back to it, the more he remembered how the merman seemed to be trying not to hurt him. That was just crazy, though. It must have been his buzz doing weird things to his memory. Who knows, maybe he just imagined what happened after that. There was no way to tell, anyway, since that was when Tino dropped the camera.

The room full of smirks and snickering aimed at him made Tino stop pouring himself another shot and look up. "What?" he only received more chuckles at the question. "Why are you guys staring at me like that?"

"Why don't you tell us?" Mathias said and pointed at the screen, which was paused on a still image of-

Tino dropped his glass, which was thankfully right over the table and didn't break. Oh god, the camera caught that. Suddenly Tino's heart was beating frantically all over again and all of that alcohol was for nothing.

"I think we can infer what the offering was for," Emil said, making the red-faced Tino look at him.

"Wh-what?"

Lukas answered the question with his coyly smiling lips up to his glass. "He thinks you agreed to be his mate."

"WH-WHAT?!"

"Hahaha!" Mathias laughed loudly and thumped the stunned assistant on the back. "What an interesting theory, Lu! Make sure it gets documented!"

"Wha- no!" Tino stomped his foot as his blush crawled down his neck. "You won't tell anyone about that and you will erase that footage!"

"You know we can't do that," Emil sing-songed. The usually flat-toned young man twirled a puffin key chain around his finger and reclined into his seat. "In the name of science, we can't dismiss anything."

"But, but, but...!" Tino couldn't possibly have his name in the history books for this!

"Don't worry, Tiny," Mathias said with a toothy grin. "I'm sure you'll make a great fishy wife!"

Tino groaned. That transfer could not come soon enough.

I'll never get tired of Finny pissing his pants over hot misunderstood Swedes.

Thanks for reading!