Saint Jimmy: 1

I am dead.

I don't know much else other than this: I am not a living human being.

My name has escaped me, my meaning now meaningless.

I can hear things, and I see lights behind my closed eyelids. I can't feel anything. I'm weightless. I feel no urgency- or any emotion at all, really.

Since I now have no concept of time, I don't know how long I stayed where I was. For all I know, I could've been moving on my own while I kept my eyes firmly closed. The lights were gone, however. Curiosity ebbed at the edge of my mind, leading to opening my eyes.

It was nighttime, with a huge, full moon and many stars. I was lying beneath a tree, a long rope hanging down towards me. My sensation started returning, and I felt a distinct soreness around my neck. What had I done? Who was I?

The moon seemed to swell, looking right at me. I clambered to my feet, and the moon became alive. I heard it in my mind.

James Bennett.

A nagging memory told me that that was my name.

Saint Jimmy.

Saint Jimmy? The name was familiar… Like a lyric to a song I heard once on the radio, or a sentence in a history book in grade school. Before I could ask anything, the moon went back to its place in the navy sky and I was alone.

I looked around for clues, anything to tell me who I was. The rope hung from the tree, telling me how I died. Why would I commit suicide? Who was I, and who am I now? I walked around the tree until the rope went out of sight. There was a long pole, topped with a menacing blade. A scythe.

I gently reached out and touched the weapon, and to my surprise, it leaned in to meet my outstretched palm. A hum of energy was emitted from the scythe, coursing through me and back into the black wood. I was surrounded by a red glow of pulsating light, comforting but not exactly warm. And then it came to me.

I'm the patron saint of denial

With an angel face and a taste for suicidal

Suicide…

Scythe in hand, I started running. The blade didn't scare me; I was already dead, wasn't I?

"Jamie! Jamie!"

Jimmy.

Wasn't that my name? I stopped running and looked around. White light, not quite blindingly so, but bright enough to make me blink. Suddenly, I was flung to the ground and smothered by the light.

"Oh, Jamie… Why didn't you tell me? Why?"

"Why what?" I asked the light, which by now had dampened to show a humanoid being. A familiar, ghostly pale face gazed at me in worry, tears in the form of ice droplets pelting my cheeks.

"Why did you do it? I had no idea…I should've been there for you!"

Ice spiraled on the forest floor around me, snow falling everywhere. Frost started to form on the blade of the scythe.

Frost.

Jack Frost.

"Jack?"

Ice blue eyes met mine, which I guessed weren't their old brown anymore by the way my friend cringed.

"Don't cry… I needed to do it. But now you won't have to miss me when I die, isn't that great?" I tried to smile.

"I should've visited more… I can't believe I wasn't there for you…"

I hushed him. "You are now, and that's what matters." I waited a moment, not wanting to upset the wintry spirit any further. "Do you know what happened to me? I don't know who or where I am… All I know is that I'm apparently Saint Jimmy…"

"You're in a forest on the outskirts of your hometown. Burgess." Jack sighed and got off me, sitting next to me with his legs folded up against his chest. "As far as Saint Jimmy goes…"

"What?"

"Come on, you don't remember?"

"I told you, I don't remember much at all."

Jack's smile was a sad one. "Saint Jimmy was your favorite song. You listened to its record all the time. American Idiot."

"I liked Green Day?"

He laughed. "You didn't like them. You loved them."

I shook my head. "Sorry, I don't remember."

"It's alright. Do you know who Saint Jimmy is, at least?"

"Not in the least. Care to elaborate?"

"In the song, he comes across as the patron saint of chaos, violence, drugs, suicide, anarchy, all that wonderful stuff."

I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "So basically, I'm an immortal high school dropout and jailbird."

"I don't think that's true… I think Jimmy is more of a savior to the ones on the edge."

I stared at my feet. I was here to save the helpless, the desperate, and the broken.

In the crowd of pain. St. Jimmy comes without any shame

He says "we're f**ked up"

But we're not the same

And mom and dad are the ones you can blame

Jimmy died today

He blew his brains out into the bay

In the state of mind it's my own private suicide

"You alright, Jamie?"

I nodded numbly. Jamie. Jimmy. The names blended together. They were the same.

"Are you sure?"

I looked up this time, coming to my senses once again. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just got a little lost in my thoughts."

His face relaxed, which in turn put me at ease. "So, you really, really don't remember anything?"

"Not much. Only the stuff you've reminded me of so far."

"Then let me ask you this… Who do you think you were? Just guess."

I thought for a moment. "I'm guessing I didn't have many friends. I feel like I was the kind of person that liked books more than people. We were probably best friends, even though I was the only one my age to believe in you. I bet I liked music, based on what you've told me." I struggled to recall anything else. "I must've been really sad at one point."

Jack didn't say anything, but curled up a little tighter.

"Why was I sad?"

"I think it would be best if you found out on your own." He rocked back and forth, voice muffled in his knees.

Ice started creeping up around me, threatening to freeze me in place. I was getting tired of sighing. "You aren't upset with me for anything?"

"No, I-"

"Don't lie."

"How did you know?"

"You're subconsciously trying to flash-freeze me."

He laughed quietly. "Well, I'm not so much upset with you as I am sad for you."

"Why? This is my fault…"

"You're going to have to go through a lot, see a lot of stuff you'd wish you hadn't. I probably couldn't have prevented it, but I don't want you to be alone in this."

I leaned over and pulled him close. "Don't be sad. I won't be alone, since we have each other."

Jack was petite, fitting snugly under my arm. "Jamie… You really don't remember anything, do you?"

"Why are you so persistent with that?" I grumbled.

The temperature dropped about ten degrees and I felt him stiffen. "This is hard for me, too, you know. You don't remember what we went through, what we did…What we felt, nothing!"

"What are you getting at?"

"We weren't friends, Jamie!"

Jimmy.

It stung. Two things did. The fact that we weren't friends, and the fact that I was Jimmy and not Jamie, God damn it.

"Well isn't that nice, we weren't friends. Thanks for telling me sooner." I stood up, scythe in hand, and started walking away.

I was quickly stopped by an emotional Jack Frost. "I'm going to remind you of who you were…" Subzero lips pressed to mine, making me shiver. The softness, the love in the kiss, "…Jamie."

I stepped back and stared at my feet. "My name is Jimmy. You better not wear it out."

I proceeded to walk away, feeling like the biggest bastard in the history of time.

X X X

A/N: Alright, I thought I'd try my hand at some BenneFrost. PLEASE let me know if they seem OOC. PLEASE. Also, REVIEW. Or Jimmy will come get you with his scythe.