The German Chronicles
A/N: My German class is insane. So insane that I got a lot of plot ideas from it. So, as a tribute to HP and Germans everywhere, I've taken events from my German class and written them with HP characters. My First Humor fic, and VERY funny. Based on actual events, all my friend have been re- named (
I Own Nothing. Not Harry Potter, not the stories, not the German class, not the German teacher.
Scene One: (subtitled: Sex in the Potions classroom)
The half clad forms of Draco and Hermione jerked up suddenly as Snape flickered on the light in the Potions dungeon. Snape's eyes widened in horror as he watched the had-been-snogging students scramble off of the desktop.
"OHMIGOD!" He yelped. "THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON MY DESK!" his eyes rolled back in his head as Draco grinned and slid across the room to stand eye-to-eye with the distraught Potions master.
"You're right… and you're next!" Draco grabbed the older man's face and leaned in for a kiss.
"GOD NO!" Snape ran screaming from the room and didn't return the rest of the day.
Scene Two: (subtitled: if Ron took Ancient Runes)
"…. and the easiest way to pronounce this rune is 'erechts,' with a drawl on the 'ch.' In English, it translates to 'reach.'"
Ron looked up from his notes to see Professor Vector's drawing of the rune. Quite suddenly, he found a connection which might help him remember the rune and the pronunciation. I'd better ask....
"Professor Vector, is that were we get the English word 'erect?' They look a lot alike."
Vector glared at Ron. "Mr. Weasley, let's not even go there, shall we?"
Ron looked surprised. "No, really, not to be sick, but for example if you have a tall house you have an erect house. See?"
Vector lost her temper. "Mr. Weasley, please return to your notes."
Silence. Then, quite suddenly, there was an odd scratchy noise. Professor Vector…was laughing? She was! Giggling like a bloody little girl!
"Mr. Weasley… (hahahaha!) … I'd hate to see you as a real estate agent… (hahahaha!) 'Yes, sir, this is (hahahaha!) a very nicely erect house! (hahahaha!)" Professor Vector fell to the floor laughing, and after she regained breath enough to dismiss the class, she did so.
A/N: No kidding, these things really happened in my German class. It's funny to picture them as HP characters. Feel free to use these revised in your stories, if they're that good (I'm conceited), or just tell me what you think. I'll write more, I have plenty.
I love reviews… I love reviews… I'm feeling unloved… Love Me!
A/N: My German class is insane. So insane that I got a lot of plot ideas from it. So, as a tribute to HP and Germans everywhere, I've taken events from my German class and written them with HP characters. My First Humor fic, and VERY funny. Based on actual events, all my friend have been re- named (
I Own Nothing. Not Harry Potter, not the stories, not the German class, not the German teacher.
Scene One: (subtitled: Sex in the Potions classroom)
The half clad forms of Draco and Hermione jerked up suddenly as Snape flickered on the light in the Potions dungeon. Snape's eyes widened in horror as he watched the had-been-snogging students scramble off of the desktop.
"OHMIGOD!" He yelped. "THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON MY DESK!" his eyes rolled back in his head as Draco grinned and slid across the room to stand eye-to-eye with the distraught Potions master.
"You're right… and you're next!" Draco grabbed the older man's face and leaned in for a kiss.
"GOD NO!" Snape ran screaming from the room and didn't return the rest of the day.
Scene Two: (subtitled: if Ron took Ancient Runes)
"…. and the easiest way to pronounce this rune is 'erechts,' with a drawl on the 'ch.' In English, it translates to 'reach.'"
Ron looked up from his notes to see Professor Vector's drawing of the rune. Quite suddenly, he found a connection which might help him remember the rune and the pronunciation. I'd better ask....
"Professor Vector, is that were we get the English word 'erect?' They look a lot alike."
Vector glared at Ron. "Mr. Weasley, let's not even go there, shall we?"
Ron looked surprised. "No, really, not to be sick, but for example if you have a tall house you have an erect house. See?"
Vector lost her temper. "Mr. Weasley, please return to your notes."
Silence. Then, quite suddenly, there was an odd scratchy noise. Professor Vector…was laughing? She was! Giggling like a bloody little girl!
"Mr. Weasley… (hahahaha!) … I'd hate to see you as a real estate agent… (hahahaha!) 'Yes, sir, this is (hahahaha!) a very nicely erect house! (hahahaha!)" Professor Vector fell to the floor laughing, and after she regained breath enough to dismiss the class, she did so.
A/N: No kidding, these things really happened in my German class. It's funny to picture them as HP characters. Feel free to use these revised in your stories, if they're that good (I'm conceited), or just tell me what you think. I'll write more, I have plenty.
I love reviews… I love reviews… I'm feeling unloved… Love Me!