Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who read my last fic! I was truly humbled by the attention and kind words. I've been having a lot of Daddy!WilSon feels since last Thursday's episode, so that is the reason for this. Mostly about Sonny, since we don't know as much about what his thoughts are. Smidgen of angst, more fluff than I intended. Feedback would be lovely!
(October 2012)
Sonny first imagines what kind of dad Will would be while they're baby-sitting.
Will's mom's apartment seems even smaller when there are three hyperactive children flitting about. They're not out of control, though. Will makes sure of that.
Sonny has never had any younger siblings, so his experiences around young children are minimal. He loves kids, but he can't help but feel awkward around them sometimes. He can never quite tell what they think of him, and he doesn't always know exactly what to say to them, or how he should say it.
Will, on the other hand, is an old pro. He takes his role as Awesome Big Brother very seriously and it shows. They all eat pizza on the floor and chow down on popcorn while they watch a kiddie Halloween movie. Sydney falls asleep on Will's lap during the first ten minutes and Sonny fights the urge to snap a picture.
Sydney shyly wakes up when the movie is over. It's bedtime, and Will is firm about that. Allie and Johnny whine and complain a little, but when Will looks them in the eye, they know he means business. Allie asks Will if he'll carry her, so he lifts her over his shoulder and runs into her room.
Sonny watches as Will tucks his three little siblings into bed, gives them each a kiss on the forehead and leaves each door open a crack.
He knows it's too soon to be thinking about this at all, but Sonny can see Will tucking his own kids into bed, reading them stories, and comforting them when they're sick or have nightmares. Sonny gets a sweet, bubbly feeling in his stomach, and his tries to push these thoughts away for now. Too much, too soon.
An hour or so later, when they're snuggled up on the couch under a throw blanket, half paying attention to some gritty crime drama, Sonny whispers, "You're so good with them."
"I've lived with them for a long time," Will shrugs, "They're not so hard to handle. They're surprisingly well-behaved, given who their mother is."
Sonny chuckles which makes Will smile.
"They really like you, you know," Will tells Sonny.
"I like them," Sonny whispers.
"I like you too," Will smirks.
"What a coincidence," Sonny closes his eyes and kisses Will on the lips. Kissing Will is still so new and fresh that it's hard to believe it's really happening, considering how long he's wanted this.
Sonny's mind can't help but wander back to that where it had gone earlier. He has a vision of a far off future where he and Will are kissing just like this. Only instead of Will's siblings asleep in their beds, it's their own kids. The idea is warm and inviting and scary all at once.
Sonny is snapped back to reality when Will slowly pulls away from him. Will's eyes are so bright and happy to see him looking back, like always. It still doesn't feel quite real.
For now, Sonny is happy to just be able to look at Will and not have to hide how he truly feels. He knows he can tell Will anything. He knows he could tell him what he's thinking; that Will will be an amazing father someday, and that he wants to be there to witness it.
Sonny also knows that there's no need to rush anything right now; that's what taking it slow is all about.
"You should help me baby-sit more often," Will whispers as Sonny rests his head on Will's shoulder.
"Definitely."
(January 2013)
The night of the wedding disaster, Sonny stays at the coffee house way past closing; cleaning and organizing every inch of the place. He wants to go home and lie down, but he doesn't know if he can face spending the night alone in the apartment he was so close to sharing.
At this point, Sonny has pictured Will as a father numerous times. But he had never imagined that it would happen this way. That Will would accidentally get his ex-girlfriend pregnant and lie to him about it. That Will would become a father before his 21st birthday. That Will would let Nick Fallon, the psycho drug addict/kidnapper/murderer, be his child's dad.
From the few brief, painful conversations Sonny has had with Will, he can't really tell what Will is planning on doing now that the truth is out.
Sonny is furiously wiping down the counter as he tries to stay angry with Will for his own sake. He remembers the Will Horton who tore apart his aunt's kitchen in a rage. He remembers the Will Horton who carried out countless shady deeds for the DiMeras. He remembers the Will Horton who was more comfortable letting people think he was a murderer than know he was gay. Will has acted so foolishly, so selfishly, been so childish. How can Will raise a child if he's still such a child himself?
He tries to remember Will's sins and mistakes as he cleans the cappuccino machine, but when Will's name crosses his mind, he immediately conjures up images of Will wearing Groucho glasses, Will reluctantly climbing a rock wall, Will saying "I love you too," Will throwing Allie over his shoulder…
It's still so hard to believe that Will is about to become someone's father. It's not hypothetical anymore. Will is really going to be a dad. He wants to tell Will that he should fight for his child, that he should keep him or her far, far away from Nick, and give that baby an amazing life. He still thinks Will could be such an amazing dad. Will could make sure that this child is free of the insecurities that have clearly plagued him for so long.
And if Sonny's being perfectly honest with himself, he wants to be there right next to Will. He just doesn't know how that could possibly work.
When he finds himself without anything else at the coffee house to keep him busy, he locks the place up, knowing he won't be sleeping easy tonight.
(April 2013)
Sonny sits in a newly assembled rocking chair, trying to figure out how to program the fancy baby monitors E.J. had given them. Will is busy trying to set up the crib. The April rain tapping against the window combined with Will's frustrated sighs is their only music for the evening.
The freshly painted light yellow nursery of their new apartment is the first room that they're even attempting to make presentable. Sonny shudders when he thinks of the boxes stacked in the living room, and the take-out containers piled in the trash.
"Damn you, IKEA!" Will growls, realizing that he assembled the headboard to the crib upside down.
"Will, if you'd just read the instructions-"
"Sonny, I swear-"
Will is clearly flustered, but Sonny just can't help himself.
"Each end is clearly labeled!" Sonny is chuckling a little, at Will's expense.
"When we bring her home, she's going to have to sleep in her stroller or something, 'cause it is going to take me at least another six months to get this crib together. And we haven't even bought a basinet."
"Will-"
"And we'll have to change her diapers on the kitchen counter, 'cause the goddamn changing table…"
"Will-"
"Oh, and don't even get me started on that high chair."
"Will, can you just breathe for a second?" Sonny grabs Will's shoulders and shakes him a little. "Everything is going to be ready by the time the baby is born. We still have more than a month, don't stress."
"I know, I know." Will has calmed down a bit, but there is still a smidgen of uncertainty in his eyes. "It's just, I want everything to be perfect, you know? Not just because I want to prove to everybody that I can do this, that we can do this, but…I don't know, it's just…I want her to have the best life, I want her to be so happy."
"She will be," Sonny's arms are wrapped around Will's neck now, and he runs his fingers through the hair on the back of Will's head. "She has you as a dad. You're going to be an amazing father. I don't doubt that for a second," Sonny is smiling at Will. He's not saying these words just to comfort Will. He really believes it and he wants Will to know how much faith he has in him.
"I love you so much," Will's tone is serious, but he is smiling back as he moves his hands to Sonny's hips. "Thank you…I mean, for everything. You're giving up so much for me. You are so amazing."
Sonny knows he's giving up a lot, but he never suggests this to Will. It's not like Sonny doesn't get that this is not an ideal situation. Maybe he's giving up some freedom, some traveling, some of his youth. But he loves Will more than he could have ever imagined, and he already loves this baby. It's early, but it's what he always wanted.
But sometimes when he can't sleep at night, he lets his fears get the best of him. What if it is a huge mistake? What if it doesn't work out? It's not just him and Will anymore, there's a child to think of. And even if he and Will don't work out, he's still making a commitment to this little girl. He feels so old all of a sudden. He's only 22.
Too young to be a father, he's too young to be so old so fast. What if I'm terrible at being a dad? What if the baby doesn't like me? What if I still can't trust Will? What if this is the beginning of the end?
His mom has made it quite clear that she thinks he's making a huge mistake, that he's throwing his life away, and that he's entering into this too lightly. And she's not the only one. His brothers, Uncle Vic, pretty much all of his friends, employees, and acquaintances all think he's messing up his life.
But when he looks at Will's face right in front of him and thinks about how they're about to become a family, he knows he is gaining so much more than he is giving up. He's so happy in this moment, with Will so close to him and so hopeful about their future, that his doubts and fears are cast aside for now. Sure it might be a risk, but if it works out (and he hopes so hard that it will), it will be so completely worth it.
"This is the only place I want to be, Will," he says as he softly presses his forehead against Will's.
(January 2014)
Sonny is woken by the crystal clear sound of heavy snoring over the baby monitor. He rolls over and checks the time on his phone.
4:43 AM.
He slowly rises from the bed and stumbles out of the bedroom and into the nursery, where he finds Will passed out on the rocking chair, the baby wide awake in his arms. It's not an unusual sight. For her entire eight months of life, she has always preferred to be awake while her parents are asleep. Will's mouth is wide open and his snores are ongoing. The baby spits out her pacifier and smiles at Sonny. Somehow her huge blue eyes are even prettier in the dim glow of the nightlight.
"What are you doing awake?" Sonny whispers as he reaches his arms out to pick her up.
Will is startled awake by his daughter being pulled from his arms. He doesn't let Sonny take her until his eyes are open and he's fully conscious of his surroundings.
"Is this your new bed now?" Sonny teases as he moves the baby to his hip, while she continues to stare at him.
"This is the third time this week I've fallen asleep in here," Will groans as he sits up a little.
"I understand. It's a comfortable chair," Sonny speaks from similar experience.
"Sorry, you must have been so lonely without me," Will smirks.
"No, it's okay. I could hear you snoring on the baby monitor, it's like you were right there with me," Sonny laughs.
"I don't snore."
"Mm hmm," is all Sonny says as the baby scrunches up her nose and lets out one of her signature loud yawns.
"I feel ya, sweetie," Will stands up and walks behind Sonny, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his head on his shoulder.
Sonny shifts the baby so she's peeking over his shoulder to look right at her daddy's face. Sonny turns his head back to look at them.
Will is sleepily making goofy faces at her while she smiles, her eyes starting to close.
Sonny walks over to the crib and gently lays her down. Will drapes the light green baby blanket over her, the one Sonny's mom knit right after she was born.
"She'll be up in two hours, we should get some sleep while we can," Sonny whispers.
"In a minute," Will says, as he brushes back the baby's short, ruffled dirty blonde hair.
Seeing Will with his daughter is so much different than the way he'd imagined it all those months ago, before either of them knew just how much their lives were about to change.
But now when he sees Will as a father, it's for real. It's so obvious how much he loves his daughter. Our daughter, Will would correct him.
And this little girl isn't imaginary either. She's alive and kicking, smiling and screaming, eating and sleeping all day long. She has her very own personality, and it reveals itself a little more every day.
He silently scolds himself for ever doubting that Will could do this. That they both could do this. That he wanted to do this.
Will grabs his hand and they walk back to their room together, hardly awake at this point.
"You're such a good dad, Will," Sonny mumbles as they crawl under the covers.
"Where is this coming from?" Will laughs sleepily.
"Just an observation. It's a good look on you."
"It's a good look on you too. She's lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you.
"I'm lucky to have both of you," Sonny grins. Lucky wasn't a word he was using very often twelve months earlier. Funny how fast things change, Sonny thinks as he closes his eyes and rests his head on Will's chest.
(February 2019)
"The End," Sonny closes the book and sets it on his five-year-old daughter's nightstand.
"One more?" She asks, looking up at him with her eyes that are just like Will's. Eyes that know how to get what they want.
"This is the second book I've read to you tonight. You're already up past your bedtime, and you need your sleep if you want to get over this bug."
She'd spent the last two days with a bucket in her lap and a damp facecloth on her forehead, thanks to her germy-handed Kindergarten counterparts, but nothing could come between her and a bedtime story.
Will was inconveniently away at an IT convention in Indianapolis, which he was required to attend with all the other computer nerds who worked at Countess Wilhelmina, the only non-glamorous people in the entire company. Chad had been covering most of Sonny's shifts at the coffee house, and Abigail was able to babysit when he absolutely had to go in.
"But you read so good!"
"When you fall asleep, you'll dream up something way better than what's in these storybooks."
The little girl pouts, but she says, "Okay."
Sonny tucks her in and they say their goodnights. He kisses her forehead and notices that she still has a fever.
"How are you feeling, sweetie?"
"Icky," she responds, sounding tired all of a sudden.
"I'm just going to go get the thermometer; I'll be right back, okay?"
She nods, but she groans when he comes back thermometer in hand.
A few moments later, the thermometer reads 100.9. Down from earlier, but still definitely a fever.
"What does it say?" she asks, ever curious.
"100.9. You're getting better, but you still have a fever. I'm going to leave the bucket by your bed, and you call me if you need me, okay? I love you."
"No, don't go!" she perks up suddenly, "Don't go, stay with me! Sleep here, I'm sick!"
Sonny sighs, "If you insist." It's not like he really could have turned her down anyway. He turns off her light and sits on her floor.
"Here, have my pillow." She throws him a fluffy pillow with a cartoon elephant on the pillowcase, and it lands on his head as he is lying down on the floor.
"Thank you, sweetheart. Now get some sleep. Don't you want to feel better when Daddy comes home in the morning?"
"Yes!"
"Well then, good night," Sonny laughs.
"Good night! Love you, love you, love you!"
"Love you, love you, love you too."
The rug on the hardwood floor isn't exactly comfortable, and the nightlight is brighter than he thought it would be, but the fact that his little girl wants him there to comfort her and help her sleep gives him that warm, bubbly feeling he's gotten so used to.
He hears his daughter start to breathe a little heavier in her sleep, and he knows he could probably go sleep in his own bed now, but he stays. He wants her to know he'll always be there when she wakes up.
He sees his phone light up in his pocket. A text from Will.
I just sat through a three hour lecture about anti-virus software. Ugh. How's the fever? I miss you both.
100.9. She's sleeping. I'm sleeping on her floor. We miss you too. Can't wait to see you tomorrow.
Give her a kiss for me. Love you. Good night.
Love you too.
Sonny fluffs the elephant pillow and rolls over on his side, not getting any more comfortable. He might be getting one of the worst night's sleeps of his life, but he's happy to do it.
When Will bursts through the door the next morning, scoops up their little girl in his arms, and gives Sonny a peck on the lips, Sonny thinks to himself that the backache and the neck cramps were totally worth it.