Disclaimer: My requests for ownership have sadly gone unanswered! SVU and all recognizable characters belong to Dick Wolf.
A/N: First of all, many thanks to my amazing betas who are even more amazing as friends!
This was originally going to be a one-shot in my Christmas collection, Season Of Miracles. But the Christmas season has passed, yet the idea won't leave me alone. So, I decided to change a few details and expand it into a multi-chapter story. I've seen a couple of stories along the same lines as this one but none with the twist I've added into this fic. I hope you enjoy it! Leave me a review and let me know what you think!
Facts to know before reading: This is set 2 and a 1/2 months after "Undercover". Elliot and Kathy have been divorced for a year and a half. Maureen is enrolled in a local college and still living at home, Kathleen is in high school, Lizzie and Dickie are in junior high, Eli is 2 years old. Elliot and Olivia have been married for almost a year, their first wedding anniversary is coming up soon. The kids have all loved Olivia like a mother for years, they even call her "Mom" and/or "Mama". They all live with Elliot and Olivia; Kathy has disappeared from their lives entirely.
Chapter One
"Mama?" Lizzie asked with a frown of concern when Olivia came into the house and hurried upstairs without a word. She watched as the woman who had always been more of a mother than a stepmother to her disappeared into the bathroom and locked herself in.
Putting her book down, Lizzie stood and crossed the living room to the make-shift play area. She lifted her two-year-old brother, Eli, up onto her hip and carried him upstairs, following the same path Olivia took. She stopped outside the bathroom door and knocked. "Mama?" she called through the door. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, sweetheart." Olivia answered as normally as she could.
"Mommy!" The toddler squealed, hearing the voice of the only mother he had ever known.
"Mama…" Lizzie tried again. She reached out and turned the knob, finding it locked. "Let me in, Mama." She paused. "Please?"
"I'm ok, honey. I'll be out soon." Olivia spoke again, trying her best to sound as normal as possible.
Lizzie frowned, clearly hearing the tears in Olivia's voice. She walked down the hall and stepped into her brother's bedroom. "Dickie, can you watch Eli for a few minutes?"
"Sure," he answered without looking up from the paper he was concentrating on.
"Thanks," she replied, sitting Eli down on the bed.
Noticing the worried tone in his twin's voice, Dickie finally looked up from his homework. "Something wrong?"
"I don't know," Lizzie answered honestly. "Something's up with Mom. I'm gonna call Dad."
Dickie nodded, "Anything I can do to help?"
"I don't know," she said again. "She locked herself in the bathroom. I'll be back." She walked out and ran downstairs in search of the house phone. Once she reached the living room, she grabbed the cordless phone off of the coffee table and quickly dialed a number she knew by heart. A moment later, she breathed a sigh of relief as her father's voice flooded through the phone line in his familiar greeting.
"Stabler."
"Daddy, where are you?"
"Lizzie? I'm at work, sweetie."
"I know you're busy. But can you come home?"
"Something wrong?" Elliot asked, a slight concern creeping into his voice.
"I don't know," Lizzie answered honestly. "Mom came home, immediately locked herself in the bathroom and won't come out or let me in."
"What?" he asked, trying to remain calm.
"I know she's upset about something, I can hear it in her voice. She sounds like she's trying not to cry."
"I'll be right there, honey. Don't worry."
"Please hurry." Lizzie whispered. "Something's not right. Mama's never like this. She always lets me in."
"I'm on my way right now," He assured his young teenage daughter.
"Thanks, Daddy," she replied before hanging up the phone and heading back upstairs to get Eli.
Across town, in the SVU squad room of the 16th precinct, Elliot stood and shoved his cell phone into his pocket. He quickly stepped over to the Captain's office and knocked on the open doorframe.
"Elliot?" Captain Cragen asked as he looked up from the computer screen in front of him. "Everything alright?"
"I'm not sure," he answered honestly. "Lizzie just called and said Liv locked herself in the bathroom."
Cragen frowned. "That doesn't sound like Liv."
"No, it doesn't. Lizzie said she's upset, that she can hear the tears in her voice. Cap… I need - "
"Go." Cragen said, interrupting Elliot before he could finish his request. "Go, take care of her. Let me know if you need anything or if I can help."
Elliot nodded once. "Thanks." He shoved his hand in his pocket and pulled out his car keys as he turned and walked out of the squad room.
~~EO~~EO~~EO~~EO~~EO~~EO~~EO~~EO~~EO~~EO~~EO~~
Fifteen minutes later, Elliot entered the house and called for his daughter. "Lizzie?"
"Right here, Daddy," she answered from the living room couch.
"Where's your mother? Still in the bathroom?"
Lizzie nodded. "She hasn't come out. The door's still locked."
"Alright. Thanks Sweetie." He walked over and kissed the top of his daughter's head. "You were right to call me."
"I just didn't know what else to do."
"You did right," he assured her again. "I'm gonna go up and talk to mom, ok?"
"I'll stay here with Eli," Lizzie answered as she glanced back at her little brother, who had fallen asleep on the couch, a toy car still gripped in his hand.
Elliot nodded then turned and walked upstairs. He stopped in front of the bathroom door and knocked.
Thinking it was one of the kids, Olivia cleared her throat and tried to sound normal. "I'll be out in a few minutes, kiddo."
"Liv," he called. "It's me, Love."
"El?" The surprise was evident in her voice. "You're supposed to be at work."
"Let me in, Sweetheart," he said as he tried to open the still-locked bathroom door.
"I'll be out in a few minutes."
"I'm not one of the kids. That's not gonna work on me, Liv," he spoke kindly. "Come on, Honey. Let me in."
Olivia sighed, knowing that he wouldn't give up until she let him in. She wiped the tears from her eyes and her cheeks and sighed again, knowing she was going to have to tell her husband what she had found out. She moved to the door and unlocked it. She turned the handle then stepped behind the door as she opened it just enough to let Elliot in.
He slipped in and Olivia quickly closed the door behind him. She relocked it, not wanting any of the kids to walk in on the conversation that she dreaded to have.
Elliot put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around to face him. Seeing the dried tear streaks on her face, he frowned. "What's wrong?"
She looked down, trying her best to keep the tears at bay.
"Liv." He used one finger under her chin to gently raise her face to his. "Look at me."
She slowly looked up, tears immediately pooled in her eyes and streamed down her cheeks as soon as she saw the tenderness and kindness in his gaze.
"What's wrong, Baby? Tell me."
"That's just it!" She sobbed, falling into him and burying her face in his chest.
"What?" he asked in confusion as he wrapped his arms around her and held her up. "What's it?" He held her close and rubbed her back.
"Baby…" she cried, her voice slightly muffled as her face was still buried in his chest.
"I always call you 'Baby'."
She shook her head and slowly pulled back but kept her eyes focused down at her feet. "A baby…" she whispered. "I'm pregnant," her voice cracked as tears continued to stream down her cheeks.
A huge grin appeared on Elliot's face. "You're pregnant? That's great! Why are you crying, Love? I thought you wanted a baby. This is what we've been trying for."
"I do want a baby," she spoke softly. "I want one with you." She slowly looked up at her husband, her heartbreak clearly written across her face. "El…" she whispered. "I'm ten weeks pregnant."
His smile slowly faded as he counted the weeks backward in his head. He sighed as he realized exactly why his wife was so upset. He gently pulled her back into his arms. He kissed the top of her head and sighed again. "It's okay," he whispered. "It's okay. We can deal with this."
"El…" her voice trembled. "I don't think I can carry his baby."
"We don't know for sure," he said as he gently rocked her from side to side. "There's a good chance that it's my baby."
"Lowell Harris raped me," she sobbed as she buried her face in his chest again. "I can't have his baby, I just can't."
"Sweetheart," he spoke quietly as he rubbed her back, trying to soothe her frazzled nerves. "This might be my baby. Don't you remember the night before you went to Sealview undercover? And actually, also before you left the next morning?"
She nodded but made no effort to move from his embrace.
"We made love, several times that night and into the next morning," he reminded her.
She nodded again.
"So, it could be my baby," he said as he pulled away a slight distance, just far enough to reach down and place his hand against her flat stomach.
"But what if it's not yours?" she whispered, her agony obvious in her voice. "What if it's Harris' baby? He's a monster, El. I don't want to have his child."
"Hey…" He reached up and cupped her face with both of his hands. He gently raised her face. Then leaned in and kissed her lips.
Olivia reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck as she seemed to melt into him and into their kiss.
He deepened the kiss, pouring his heart and soul into the kiss, telling her without words how much he loved her. When he finally broke the kiss, he raised his head slightly and rested his forehead against hers. "Listen to me," he whispered. "I want this baby to be mine. But if it's not, I'm not going to be upset with you. This baby is part of you and I'll love it no matter what. Even if it's not mine, I'll still love it… I'll love it like it's my own. This child will be a Stabler, no matter whose blood flows through its' veins. This child will be mine either way. Biology doesn't matter." He gently brushed a strand of stray hair back from her face.
"El…" she whispered brokenly, closing her eyes.
"Shhh…" he soothed, knowing instinctively what she was about to say.
"If it's not my baby," he continued. "I'll support you in whatever you decide to do. Whether you keep it or put it up for adoption or…" He let the third option hang between them, unspoken. "Whatever you decide to do, I'm with you every step," he promised.
She sighed shakily and leaned into him again, wrapping her arms around his waist. "How can you be so kind and understanding about this?"
"You expected me to be angry at you? To not accept the baby?"
"I don't know," she responded honestly. "I don't even know how to react myself."
"Olivia," he hugged her tightly. "I love you with all of my heart, with all of my being. And that's how I can love and accept the baby. It's part of you and for that reason alone, I already adore him… or her."
"I want a paternity test done as soon as possible," she mumbled into his chest.
"Alright, my Love. As soon as possible," he agreed, his voice husky with unshed tears.
"I'm sorry," she cried, her tears flowing freely again.
"This is not your fault."
"But we've been trying to have a baby… and now this. I wouldn't blame you for hating me."
"Oh, Sweetheart," he sighed as he pulled her even closer. "I could never hate you. You're my everything, my whole life. I love you more than I'll ever be able to tell you."
Her only response was to wrap her arms tighter around his waist and bury her face even deeper into his chest as she cried harder.
"Harris is the one to blame, the one at fault. I hate him because of what he did to you and what he took away from you. But I could never hate you… NEVER…" he said with conviction, emphasizing the last word. Then he leaned down, putting his lips next to her ear and whispered, "Never." He tightened his arms around her as he felt her knees wobble and begin to give away. "It's okay, I've got you," Elliot soothed. He reached behind himself with one hand, unlocked and opened the bathroom door. He easily lifted his wife into his arms as though she weighed nothing at all. He carried her down the hall and into the master bedroom, nudging the door closed with his foot. He crossed the room and laid her down on their king-size bed.
Olivia reached up and gripped his shirt as he began to raise up. "Don't leave," she pleaded.
"I'm not leaving you, Darling," he assured her as he gently removed her fingers from his shirt. He kissed her hand and then her lips. "I'll be right back."
She nodded then rolled over onto her side and buried her head in the pillow.
He reached down at the foot of the bed, pulled her shoes off and dropped them on the floor beside the bed. Then he pulled their white down comforter up and tucked it around her, just under her chin. He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him and leaned back against the wall. He sighed, rubbing his face with both hands.
"Daddy?" a soft voice pulled him from his private thoughts.
"Yeah, Baby?" he answered as he looked up and met the worried gaze of his youngest daughter.
"Is Mama okay?" she asked quietly. Her twin stepped up beside her, his eyes holding the same worry and concern as hers.
Elliot slowly pushed himself away from the wall. "No," he answered honestly. "Not really. But she will be."
"What's wrong?" Dickie asked, his voice shaking slightly.
Elliot wrapped an arm around each child before responding. "Well, kiddo. It's kind of a long story. Mom and I will talk to you later, after Maureen and Kathleen get home. We'll explain everything then."
The twins both nodded, still deeply worried about the woman who was always so strong.
"She just needs some time, guys. Can you do something for me though?"
As only twins can do, both young teens answered in unison. "Sure."
"Run down to the kitchen and get a bottle of water and a bottle of Sprite from the fridge, a package of crackers - the peanut butter on cheese kind - from the cabinet and any kind of chocolate you can find."
With a nod from each of them, Lizzie and Dickie hurried downstairs in search of the requested items.
Elliot returned to the bathroom and pulled a wash cloth from the linen closet. He moved to the sink and held the cloth under the tap, soaking it in cold water. He rung the excess water out of the cloth and retrieved another dry cloth from the closet. A moment later, he stepped back into the hall, making his way back toward the master bedroom. He rounded the corner and met the twins as they returned upstairs.
"We got everything you asked for, Daddy," Lizzie said as she offered him the items she was carrying.
"And we found chips," Dickie added as he held up the unopened bag. "Mom loves chips."
"That's great, guys. Thanks," Elliot said as he took the items from both of the teens.
"Can we see Mama?" Lizzie asked.
"Not right now, Sweetie. Mama's not feeling well."
"Just for a minute?" Dickie requested.
"In a little while," Elliot tried to explain. "Mama needs some time to calm down."
Lizzie sighed sadly. "Alright. But will you tell her that we love her?"
"Of course I will, Honey. She loves you too, you know."
"We know."
Elliot nodded and dropped a kiss on top of the twins' heads then continued down the hall to the bedroom. He quietly entered the room and once again closed and locked the door behind him, giving Olivia the privacy she desperately needed. "Hey," he whispered softly, knowing that even though his wife was lying still, she was not asleep.
Olivia slowly rolled over onto her back. She sniffled and wiped her red, puffy eyes. "Hey," she whispered back.
He walked over, setting the drinks and food on the bedside table.
"What's that?" she asked
"Just a little junk food," he smiled softly. "Junk food helps everything, right?"
"I'm not hungry," she replied with a small smile.
"That's alright. It'll be here when you're ready for it." He held up the wet wash cloth. "I figured you have a headache."
"Yeah." A wave of fresh tears rolled down her face.
"Here, it's cold." His voice was soft and comforting as he reached over and gently wiped her eyes then her forehead with the cool, damp cloth.
She sighed quietly and closed her eyes. "The kids?" she asked.
"They're fine, honey. They asked me to tell you that they love you."
"I know I freaked Lizzie out."
"They're worried about you," he admitted, "but they understand that you need time and that we'll talk to them later." He folded the cold cloth and laid it across her forehead. "Just relax."
"They're ok? Eli too?"
"They're fine," he promised. "We'll talk to all of them together after Mo and Katie get home."
"Eli's too young," she mumbled quietly as sleep began to wash over her.
"I know, Love," he soothed. "Shhh… just relax. Sleep."
"Don't go," she pleaded sleepily.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said as he kicked his shoes off and slipped under the covers with her. He wrapped her in his arms and readjusted the cloth across her forehead. "I'm right here. Sleep," he whispered.
Olivia moved as close to her husband as she could get and reluctantly gave in and let sleep overtake her.
Elliot sighed quietly and held his wife a little tighter as he wondered just how they were going to explain this whole mess to their children.
A/N 2: How do the kids react when they find out what's going on? How does Olivia handle it? What about the SVU gang? And most importantly, who's the father?
What do you think? Should I continue? Leave me a review?