Pokémon/Zombie Survival Guide

Chapter One: A Dead UPS Man

Enia: Hello! I'm Enia Silverson and this is Pokémon: An Undead Adventure! I'm co-authoring this with David the Scottish Werewolf… and possibly Samik Brekin and William Darroch. If they don't kill each other first. So, obviously, I write the parts from my point of view and David writes the parts from his. I hope you enjoy the ride 'cause honestly, I have no idea what's gonna happen!

A/N: hey guys its David here this chapter is Enia's point of view sadly but at least she did a good job. Hope you enjoy! Now read and review or William will eat your brains muhahahahahahhahaaaaaaa.

Enia's POV

"Die Ganondork, die!" I yelled as I defeated Twilight Princess for the umpteenth time and the screen swited to a cut scene of Link stabbing Ganondorf through the chest. "Bwhahaha!"

"Having fun?" Samik asked. He was splayed out on the couch next to me and eating an apple

"Lots," I answered. I placed the controller down and stood up to stretch, yawing widely as I did so. "Let's go to be," I continued. "I'm tired."

"Me too." Samik dropped his apple core on the table and stood up. He stretched and we meandered up the stairs. He went straight and headed into my brother's old room and I turned and entered mine. I clambered up my bed's ladder and rolled onto my mattress, running into the wall as I did so. "Night Enia,' Samik called sleepily.

"Night," I agreed. For once I fell asleep quickly.

That night I had a really weird dream. It seemed to come out of nowhere. A Ho-oh flitted through a field of darkness, followed closely by a Gengar. A whole multitude of Pokemon came after them and they all had frightened expressions on their faces. I wondered why. They were Pokemon; nothing could scare them. Although it was a dream, a rotten smell invaded my nostrils. It was closely followed by a low, rumbling moan. Shambling through the darkness came foul, rotting creatures. Then someone screamed and I woke up.

I sat up with a start and whacked my head painfully on the ceiling. Rubbing my head, I called out to Samik, "Was that you?"

"No," he answered. "That came from outside."

I jumped out of my bed, landing with a low thud, and padded into Samik's room. He was kneeling on his futon and peering out the window. I crawled up next to him. "See anything?"

He shook his head. "It's not on our street."

"Let's go investigate."

"Okay." That's one of the reasons I love Samik; he agrees with all my stupid and dangerous ideas without a second thought. He doesn't try to protect me or keep me from danger because he knows that I can take care of myself… and that I'll hurt him if he tries. He also doesn't try to force me to do anything I don't want to do. And he's super cute.

We hurried downstairs and let ourselves out through the front door. The street was quiet and lit only by a couple of flickering streetlamps. Samik thought that the scream had come from the park so we headed cautiously in that direction. The park was completely dark; I could barely see my hand in front of my face. I could hear strange noises coming from somewhere to my right. Slurping, crunching, and smacking noises. Sharp cracks and low gurgles. Suspicious noises that were creepy in the darkness.

Samik and I hunkered down beside a thick tree trunk. "See anything?" I whispered.

"Nope," he said. "Too dark.

"Let's move forward," I whispered and we quietly began to creep forward. My bare feet hit concrete and after a few steps I was back on grass. My toe touched a wooden beam and I eased myself onto the woodchips. I knew the swing set was somewhere nearby but I wasn't quite sure of its exact location.

Samik solved that problem for me. There was a loud thud and a louder, "Son of a bitch!" and the noises we were following stopped instantly.

"You idiot!" I hissed. "Now they know we're here!"

"Sorry! I didn't know there was a goddamn pole there!"

"Whatever. Light time." Using the heat and energy of my body, I conjured up a bright fire in the palm of my hand. It lit up a ten foot radius around us but everything else outside was still dark.

"And you're calling me an idiot?" Samik muttered. "Now they know exactly where we are but we still can't see them!"

"Do you have a better idea?" I shot back.

"Yeah, actually, I do." Samik leaned forward and placed his hand against the ground. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and murmured, "Phosphate Tyra." Instantly the entire park began to glow like a radioactive Christmas tree.

"I stand corrected." That's as close as I'll come to saying that I was wrong about something.

We looked around and, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I shrieked like a little girl. Hey, you would too. Standing not fifteen feet from us and shambling in our direction like a drunken bear, was a freaking corpse. It was over six foot and had a belly to boot. One side of its face was just gone; leaving only bone and the occasional sinew. I could see part of its brain through its skull. The one eye it had left was bloodshot and dripping a gross yellow pus. Its white soccer jersey was torn and splattered with dirt, blood, and other bodily fluids and there was a giant hole straight through its stomach. One of its feet was twisted around backwards and all the flesh on its knees had been torn away completely; leaving only pearly white bone. So yes, I screamed. You would've too had you been in my position.

Even through my shock I reacted instantly; turning my little ball of fire into a missile and flinging it into the corpse's brain. It shuddered once like a puppet on a string before collapsing. "What the hell?" Samik muttered. "Where did that come from?"

I took a deep breath before I answered. "I donno but it can't be good."

"What was it eating?" Samik wondered.

I blanched. Oh God. We hurried forward, giving the re-dead corpse a wide berth, and we quickly came upon its victim. I squashed the urge to throw up. The grass around the body was bleached red and the body itself couldn't really be called a body. It was split into at least five different gruesome sections and each was mangled beyond recognition. One could've been a head and half a shoulder. Another might've been the other shoulder and an arm. The third could've been the rest of the torso and the fourth and fifth could've been legs at some point. "I don't think we need to worry about him coming back any time soon," I said weakly.

Samik nodded. "Let's get out of here."

I nodded and pulled out my phone. "Hello?" I said when a man on the other end picked up. "Hi. I'd like to report a murder. No, I didn't see it happen. Why am I out this late? My friend and I heard a scream and we went to investigate. Yes, I know that's stupid. We found two dead bodies. Where? Creekside Park. Our names? I'm Enia Silverson and my friend is Samik Brekin… no those are not fake names. Sure, we'll still be here. Five minutes? Okay. Bye." I hung up.

"We're not actually gonna be here when they arrive, right?" Samik asked.

"Nope."

"So what now?"

"I think it's time that we headed for the Elf Realm."

Enia: Yeah! Chapter One!

Samik: Who was the poor bastard who got eaten?

Enia: Some UPS guy.

Samik: Why?

Enia: I don't like the color brown.

Samik: Enia… you do realize I have brown hair.

Enia: Yep.

Samik: And brown eyes.

Enia: Yep.

Samik: And I'm wearing brown clothing.

Enia: Yep.

Samik: And you're saying you don't like the color brown. I'm offended.

Enia: Only the UPS brown. That's a blucky color. Yours is a cute brown and it works for you.

Samik: Aw, thanks.

Enia. Okay, well, this is the end of my first chapter! Over to you, David! (…I feel like a sports announcer)

David: that was awesome but William is pissed that you had to include elf boy, and I can't say I blame him

William: hey Enia bad news I am going to kill Samik muahahahahahahaha

Samik: Screw you, William.