Don't own. AU.

(Prologue 01) Blaine Anderson had just moved to what seemed like a little calm town in California. The sun always seemed to be shining in the pictures, and the house itself looked tame, as compared to his previous home in NYC. Soon (aka when the story starts) he'd be visiting and hopefully moving in right away, or as soon as possible.

(Prologue 02) After running away from his abusive family, Garfield ended up in California. He was a troublemaker, for sure, stealing food and candy from innocent humans walking around. After this, he ended up being obese, therefore highly self conscious. He knew he'd never find a kitty lover.

Blaine was very pleased with his perfect sized new house. In very little time, this house would be his home, with just a bit of redecorating. So far, the neighborhood seemed unusually pleasant. Especially tame, as he expected it to be. Here, he probably wouldn't have to worry about getting robbed, or shot, or even worse - annoyed by neighbors' wild parties. He'd be moving in immediately. It was comfortable so far, and he was ready to call it a night.

He'd been robbed. Over half of his food was missing, along with his television remote, laptop, a few DVD's, his newspaper ... and worst of all, his diary. It was the only thing with all his secrets wrapped up inside, including his biggest secret of all - his Tumblr password. Whoever stole it would sabotage his blog and make him lose all his 1000+ followers. Also, they'd probably delete Photoshop and Skype - his best friends. And now that he didn't have his laptop he could do nothing about it!

Blaine was near the verge of tears as he poured what was left of his Fruit Loops. And weirdest of all, the robber didn't steal any money, just food and his favorite possessions. He also noticed his mini-keyboard was missing. What was going on here? Being the detective rookie he was, he was determined to identify the fingerprints.

Blaine was amazed. There were absolutely no fingerprints, but pawprints. An animal had been the one to steal Blaine's possessions. He was highly suspicious of a specific overweight cat that lingered on the curb near his new location. It seemed ridiculous, but Blaine was ready to confront it.

"You stole stuff from me!" Blaine screamed, oblivious to staring faces all around.

"Yep," Garfield muttered back. Blaine stepped back slowly, although not too shocked that the cat-robber could talk. It wasn't that far out, was it? "People on your Tumblr tried to talk to me, while I slowly explained to them that I was hacking your account, and I was a cat and that it would be rude for me to talk to them."

"Why do you care if it's rude?" Blaine responded, rolling his eyes in annoyance at the chubby cat's unbelievable words.

"Because I did a bad thing. I shouldn't steal from such," he began. "Such ... attractive people."

"You think I'm attractive?" Blaine laughed in disbelief. "Even with my triangle eyebrows?"

"...yes," Garfield mumbled, wishing he could go back in time and erase the confession.

"Well, I think you're kinda cute too," Blaine shrugged. He obviously didn't seem to mind that he was getting into a relationship with a fat cat.

Garfield grinned, his self-consciousness washing away. "Will you be my boyfriend?" he asked giddily, yet nervously at the same time.

"Sure, wanna live with me?"

"Duh."

THE END. (fyi this is a joke but i ship barfield totally)