disclaimer: disclaimed.
summary: the fact that she isn't flying, no, she's falling, doesn't register until it's too late. / tori, relying on fairytales. tori&beck, beck&jade.
notes: written basically because i love tori angst and, um, yeah. that's about it. oh wait - there is no capitalization in this piece, i am aware. i'm sorry if that bothers you.
tell me something wonderful
once upon a time, there was a princess named victoria vega who thought she was on the top of the world, with the gods and godesses and flying ponies to ride on all day.
and once upon a time, she honestly thought that everything wouldn't come crashing down on top of her.
/
her downfall begins when she first sings on that stage. (and from there, everything is fastfastfast and the fact that she isn't flying, no, she's falling, doesn't register until it's too late.)
/
beck oliver has dark dark eyes and dark dark hair and slightly-less dark skin and her first thought when he sees her is, prince. he's the first guy in a long time that she's ever really wanted to take out on a date, to kiss and hold on to and treasure. and then she finds out:
this prince already has a princess.
(she tries not to take it too hard.)
/
she becomes friends with beck, cat, robbie, andré, and she's got this twisted sort of relationship with jade, but that's alright, jade's a bit too scary/dark/opposite of herself for her liking, anyway.
/
sometimes, she'll wonder why beck's with jade, because they are this sort of dysfunctional couple that bickers and argues more than they talk and smile together. but then she sees the way beck looks at her, and the way her grip on his hand tightens just a bit when their around other girls that she doesn't know isn't a threat and she realizes, not for the first time, that they really do love each other.
/
it kills her to help get beck back for jade. but she does it anyway. (pretty pretty girl, always doing what she's asked.)
/
she hums a love song when she's brushing her hair and pretend that her prince is just around the corner, just waiting for her to realize.
/
when she is nine, ten-year-old trina breaks her favorite tiara and fairy wand. tori cries for hours on end, and even though it was her fault in the first place, trina tries to comfort her.
"there's no such thing as fairytales, tori," trina says, over and over and over again.
that is trina's mantra, the one that she repeats when she catches tori watching disney princess movies and the one she uses when tori wonders what's on the other side of a rainbow. the one when tori is coloring a unicorn and the one when tori puts tiara on her next christmas list. they come in variations, for sure, but it's always the same premise: there's no such thing as fairytales, tori. get over it.
/
nine, ten, eleven-year-old tori comes to the conclusion that her sister is crazy, and so is her mantra.
they're true, happy endings exist, they're true.
that's her mantra, and she whispers it to herself over and over and over again when trina isn't in earshot.
/
the mantra works, because fourteen/fifteen/sixteen-year-old tori still believes.
sometimes, she feels like she's the only one who does.
but cat does, too, and she thinks that may be why they're such good friends.
/
when jade breaks up with beck for the second time, tori just figures it's just like before. they'll get back together in a couple of days, she thinks. they are beck and jade, after all.
/
one day passes. no beck-and-jade hand holding, no beck-and-jade innocent bickering. two days pass. still no beck-and-jade. then three, then four. she tries not to get her hopes up (it's just a long break-up, is all. they'll be back together in no time.) but fails.
/
she asks beck out after a month of their break-up. he says yes. (she tries to ignore the moment of hesitation.)
/
she splits the group up, half in half. instead of tori, andré, cat, robbie, beck and jade, there's now tori, andré and beck, and robbie, jade and cat.
she tries to convince herself that it isn't her fault. (she fails.)
/
she'll pretend that she doesn't see the way beck's eyes linger on jade when he sees her in the hallway. she'll pretend she doesn't see the way she stares at him during the classes they share. she'll pretend that beck is hers and he doesn't want anyone else, never ever.
(they're true, happy endings exist, they're true.)
/
she leans her head on his should as they listen to music in his rv. both of them sing-whisper the lyrics.
/
somehow, she and beck drive away andré. he hangs out with more music-orientated teenagers, like himself, and now it's just the two of them.
but that's okay, she thinks. because love is all i need.
sometimes, though, she'll catch andré's eyes during class and they'll smile, remembering inside jokes and memories that they have of each other.
/
her parents say that she shouldn't make this guy her life, that it is unlikely that this first love will be the love of her life. she retorts by saying that they were high school sweethearts, and still deeply in love. it can happen to her, she says.
she slams the door to her bedroom when she has nothing else to say.
/
(they're true, happy endings exist, they're true.)
/
she packs several bags full of clothes, notebooks and make-up that night. she leaves no note.
/
she finds herself at beck's rv. it's pouring.
"can i stay here tonight?" she asks, soaking wet.
he nods. "of course, tore."
/
that night, they make love for the first time.
/
one night turns into two, and two turns into three, and three turns into four until she just looses track of the days. trina tries to corner her at school, but she always manages to avoid her.
she doesn't need anyone else right now. all she needs is beck.
(all she needs is love.)
/
one week, two week, three, four, five. her parents call her cell, but she ignores them. trina calls. aunt sonya calls. one message into two, three, four, five, eight, ten, twelve.
she deletes them all.
/
trina finally catches up to her on a thursday by locking her in the janitors closet.
"tori, come home," she says. "mom and dad are worried. they miss you." then she adds, hesitantly: "i'm worried. i miss you. tori. tori, please."
that's the first time she's heard her sister say please in a long time. she opens her mouth -
- the bell rings.
"i - i gotta go."
she retreats into beck's arms when she sees him.
/
they celebrate their six month anniversary by going to a restaurant, then movie, then sex.
it's nothing special, but to tori, it feels like the world.
/
he catches him kissing jade two weeks after that.
she stays there for a few seconds, but when she thinks she hears her heart breaking, and runs. beck doesn't know that she knows.
/
how long has this been happening? she thinks. since we began? for a few days, a few weeks? or maybe that was the first time? (though she doubted it was the first time, honestly.)
/
she lets beck have a chance to tell her for a few days.
when he doesn't, she breaks up with him and walks away without telling him a reason.
/
she skips school for a week, calling herself in sick, and hangs out in a club where they think she's twenty-three. she wastes her bank account on drinks and dances and fucks boys who are five-six-seven years her senior.
/
she goes back home. she still has her keys, and when she enters her mother is in the kitchen, back towards her.
"mom?" the word feels foreign.
her mom breaks down into tears and pulls her into a hug.
/
when her dad comes home with trina, they have dinner together and talk about what happened and she says i'm sorry about a million times.
they forgive her. (in her head she thinks thank god, thank god, thank god, over and over and over again.)
/
she goes back to school the next monday. the first thing she notices:
beck and jade are back together. it's no surprise, really, but it hurts just the same. (she just tries to ignore it.)
/
andré sits next to her at lunch. they don't talk, just eat their lunch and leave.
it's better than eating alone, or with strangers who don't know you.
that's what they think, anyway.
/
andré and tori first talk in months when tori gets the lead in the musical and andré is composing the music and they need to rehearse.
awkward silence. feet shuffle.
"hey," he says.
she looks up. "hi."
/
and then they're back, like they never even stopped talking to each other.
/
slowly but surely, the group gets back together. cat, with her everlasting sunshine; robbie, with his awkward moments and insecurity; rex, with his mean and sarcastic comments; beck and jade, together again, holding hands and butterfly kisses; andré, with his keyboard and shoulder to lean on; tori with her voice and advice.
and slowly but surely, things get back to normal again.
/
(they're true, happy endings exist, they're true.)
notes: i guess i had to give this a happy ending. whatever. if you liked it enough to favorite, please leave a review with it!