This is just a very small idea for a story. If it's liked then I will
continue. This whole idea is based around songs so if you recognise pieces
you'll know why. Reviews would be extremely welcome (and an extreme
relief!)
Stay.
You say I only hear what I want to
You say I talk so all the time so
The words echoed around in his head locked in this chamber of incessant thoughts. They refused to subside and with every word of the song he flinched knowing how little he did to try and make her stay. He'd had every opportunity and he'd let her go.
And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leaving
Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you
Yeah yeah, I missed you
She hadn't wanted to leave. He'd pushed her away. She had held him close and whispered how much she cared for him into his ear but the thoughts had only added to the unexpressed feelings that he'd had for years and now each word was mangled and twisted into something he knew he'd felt a long time ago, and that he still did.
You say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard, don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
To anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care, I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no
It was true. In the past few hours he'd listened to what he thought had been said. But he was racing her and they were driving the same car. He was running ahead when they were meant to be in a three-legged race. In other words it just wasn't working. The only words that he'd heard from her were negatives. In truth they had been positive but compared and contrasted with the thoughts he'd had of her for years he suddenly felt inadequate and turned every positive into a negative somehow erasing the pain that now coursed solemnly throughout his body. The kind of pain that isn't physical but purely psychosomatic, the kind that can only be taken away when things are resolved, and those things are objects that are way beyond reach and lost in the black hole of constant 'what if's'.
So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up
And this woman was singing my song:
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay
Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
Dying since the day they were born
Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown
It was true; as soon as she'd left he'd turned the CD player on hoping that it would drown out the contrasting voices in his head. Some berating him and some rationalising with him, seeing how unrealistic the hope was that she felt the same way about him as he did about her. It was just some form of teenage fantasy, one that could be created and destroyed in mere seconds, just because they were so ludicrous. He'd thought he was in the driving seat and that his emotions and feelings were the back seat passengers. Just taken along for the ride whilst logic and reason ruled entirely throughout his life. But he was wrong. As soon as she'd looked at him with those crystal tears falling gracefully from her eyes, not caring if he saw them, he'd melted. He saw how much he'd hurt her and how it would take a lot to fix the crater he'd just created in their relationship. The tears flowed freely, each one focused on him. Her facial contours absorbing each pure moment of liquidised sorrow.
And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
But that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you
He couldn't live without her in his life. She was one of his few motivations. The urge to see her could never be repressed and was a constant reminder of past, present and inevitably future feelings for this woman. She'd looked him dead in the eye and asked him if any compliment that he'd ever given her was the truth or just some fabricated lie to make her stay. He knew it wasn't. But she didn't and somehow that was a lot worse than if she had been correct in her insinuations.
You said that I was naive and I thought that I was strong
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you
Yeah, I miss you
He felt naïve, inexperienced. He'd never been good with this relationship jargon but it had never seemed important before but now it was an increasingly worrying part of his life, something that needed a resolution but he couldn't see an obvious enough way out to solve it. She'd left him. She'd just got up and left without turning back. Somehow that hurt more than if she'd stayed and shouted at him because he knew she couldn't bare to be in the same room as him as it hurt too much. Well 'it' didn't hurt too much but he hurt her too much. He knew he was wrong instantly as soon as he'd seen her retreat out of his house. He missed her immediately and he hadn't even run to the door to see if he could have salvaged anything from this sabotaged relationship.
You said, "You caught me 'cause you want me and one day you'll let me go" You try to give away a keeper, or keep me
'Cause you know you're just scared to lose
And you say, "Stay."
She knew him. She could see right through him and he knew it. She'd asked him if he just wanted her because he didn't want anyone else to have her or because he truly liked her. And he hadn't answered. He didn't know. Well, he did now but he hadn't then. He was in a no win situation. If he called her now she'd be too angry or too hurt to talk to him but if he didn't she'd be hurt that he hadn't. Words sprung to mind and simultaneously disappeared again once he realised how inappropriate they sounded. 'I'm sorry' just seemed like an empty promise. It needed more than that. She deserved more than that. But was he prepared to give it to her? Yes. He was. The song slowly reached its end and trailed off slowly with the words.
You say I only hear what I want to
He knew he'd let her down and he was determined to make it up to her. Reaching resolutely for his cell phone he used his heart to form a message to her. Technically it was too late to say this but it was what he wanted to say, the only thing he could say. A simple word but hopefully powerful enough to work.
"Stay."
If you liked this please tell me, as I'd be really happy to know! I know it's not great but if anyone has any constructive criticism so that I can make chapter 2 better then please give me the necessary feedback. Until next time sweeties =) XXX
Stay.
You say I only hear what I want to
You say I talk so all the time so
The words echoed around in his head locked in this chamber of incessant thoughts. They refused to subside and with every word of the song he flinched knowing how little he did to try and make her stay. He'd had every opportunity and he'd let her go.
And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leaving
Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you
Yeah yeah, I missed you
She hadn't wanted to leave. He'd pushed her away. She had held him close and whispered how much she cared for him into his ear but the thoughts had only added to the unexpressed feelings that he'd had for years and now each word was mangled and twisted into something he knew he'd felt a long time ago, and that he still did.
You say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard, don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
To anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care, I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no
It was true. In the past few hours he'd listened to what he thought had been said. But he was racing her and they were driving the same car. He was running ahead when they were meant to be in a three-legged race. In other words it just wasn't working. The only words that he'd heard from her were negatives. In truth they had been positive but compared and contrasted with the thoughts he'd had of her for years he suddenly felt inadequate and turned every positive into a negative somehow erasing the pain that now coursed solemnly throughout his body. The kind of pain that isn't physical but purely psychosomatic, the kind that can only be taken away when things are resolved, and those things are objects that are way beyond reach and lost in the black hole of constant 'what if's'.
So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up
And this woman was singing my song:
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay
Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
Dying since the day they were born
Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown
It was true; as soon as she'd left he'd turned the CD player on hoping that it would drown out the contrasting voices in his head. Some berating him and some rationalising with him, seeing how unrealistic the hope was that she felt the same way about him as he did about her. It was just some form of teenage fantasy, one that could be created and destroyed in mere seconds, just because they were so ludicrous. He'd thought he was in the driving seat and that his emotions and feelings were the back seat passengers. Just taken along for the ride whilst logic and reason ruled entirely throughout his life. But he was wrong. As soon as she'd looked at him with those crystal tears falling gracefully from her eyes, not caring if he saw them, he'd melted. He saw how much he'd hurt her and how it would take a lot to fix the crater he'd just created in their relationship. The tears flowed freely, each one focused on him. Her facial contours absorbing each pure moment of liquidised sorrow.
And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
But that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you
He couldn't live without her in his life. She was one of his few motivations. The urge to see her could never be repressed and was a constant reminder of past, present and inevitably future feelings for this woman. She'd looked him dead in the eye and asked him if any compliment that he'd ever given her was the truth or just some fabricated lie to make her stay. He knew it wasn't. But she didn't and somehow that was a lot worse than if she had been correct in her insinuations.
You said that I was naive and I thought that I was strong
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you
Yeah, I miss you
He felt naïve, inexperienced. He'd never been good with this relationship jargon but it had never seemed important before but now it was an increasingly worrying part of his life, something that needed a resolution but he couldn't see an obvious enough way out to solve it. She'd left him. She'd just got up and left without turning back. Somehow that hurt more than if she'd stayed and shouted at him because he knew she couldn't bare to be in the same room as him as it hurt too much. Well 'it' didn't hurt too much but he hurt her too much. He knew he was wrong instantly as soon as he'd seen her retreat out of his house. He missed her immediately and he hadn't even run to the door to see if he could have salvaged anything from this sabotaged relationship.
You said, "You caught me 'cause you want me and one day you'll let me go" You try to give away a keeper, or keep me
'Cause you know you're just scared to lose
And you say, "Stay."
She knew him. She could see right through him and he knew it. She'd asked him if he just wanted her because he didn't want anyone else to have her or because he truly liked her. And he hadn't answered. He didn't know. Well, he did now but he hadn't then. He was in a no win situation. If he called her now she'd be too angry or too hurt to talk to him but if he didn't she'd be hurt that he hadn't. Words sprung to mind and simultaneously disappeared again once he realised how inappropriate they sounded. 'I'm sorry' just seemed like an empty promise. It needed more than that. She deserved more than that. But was he prepared to give it to her? Yes. He was. The song slowly reached its end and trailed off slowly with the words.
You say I only hear what I want to
He knew he'd let her down and he was determined to make it up to her. Reaching resolutely for his cell phone he used his heart to form a message to her. Technically it was too late to say this but it was what he wanted to say, the only thing he could say. A simple word but hopefully powerful enough to work.
"Stay."
If you liked this please tell me, as I'd be really happy to know! I know it's not great but if anyone has any constructive criticism so that I can make chapter 2 better then please give me the necessary feedback. Until next time sweeties =) XXX