DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything that you recognise at all in this fan fic - all of Harry Potter belongs to JKRowling.

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If only Hermione Jean Granger wasn't a mudblood... – written by Draco Malfoy.

If only Hermione Jean Granger wasn't a mudblood she might not have become friends with Potter and the Weasel. Then they wouldn't have had the brains of the trio and would've failed at everything like miserable idiots. Then the Dark Lord might not have died again after failing to get to the Philosopher's Stone and being stopped from draining Weaslette's life energy, or whatever he was doing to her. Then he would've come back earlier and I might've been a Death Eater earlier... Wait, that wouldn't be good. Being a Death Eater is never good. I mean, the title of the the job involves death, how would that ever be good?

If only Hermione Jean Granger wasn't a mudblood she might not have been a Gryffindor, and could end up in Slytherin with me and 'The Gang'. Then she might not have become friends with... hang on... said that already... then she might... erm... then she might have been my friend, and then maybe more than a friend. Then we might end up dating and engaged and married and have kids and... Draco, don't get ahead of yourself. Keep it together damn it. She is still a mudblood and always will be.

If only Hermione Jean Granger wasn't a mudblood and she hadn't been put in Gryffindor with Potter and Weasley. Then Potter might've been killed and tortured and... but Mother has always had a soft spot for him, no idea why. Maybe she wants a toy boy... that's disgusting... unwanted mental image... Potter and Mother... no, she would never do that. It would just be plain wrong... the Boy-Who-Lived and Voldemort's Right-hand man's wife. Well, I suppose it would be ex-wife by then. No, never going to happen. Get that disgusting image out of your head Draco... Draco... Draco Malfoy! Have some respect!

If only Hermione Jean Granger wasn't a mudblood I might actually be attracted to her. Despite the uncontrollable bush hair, the buck teeth and her lack of any figure hugging clothes she is sort of pretty. I mean, if you ignore the inability for her to speak in actual words that the average person can understand she could be attractive. Well, that and the fact that she lashes out at you if you do something she doesn't enjoy. First-hand experience of that from when she broke my nose it third year. Actually, it's probably best I'm not attracted to her – I could get seriously hurt!

If only Hermione Jean Granger wasn't a mudblood... actually, it's probably for the best that she is a mudblood. It seems to work out better both for myself and her. Especially with her being such a feisty witch that doesn't seem to let loose. She's best off being a Gryffindor know-it-all, if she wasn't then the whole universe would probably collapse. Not that I'm complimenting her, of course. A Malfoy never compliments a mudblood,

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Okie dokie, I finished it :) Enjoy?

R & R please, I'm completely open to criticism as long as it is constructive. If not, then off with you head! :) But please, don't just say it was awful and rubbish and that I should never write again because I want to know what you didn't like so I don't make the same mistakes. :) thanks for reading xx