Red Rose
A single red rose sitting upon my nightstand.
I am unsure of what to do about this. I am certain the flower is from one of my friends, as no one else could have gotten into the tower to leave it there without upsetting the system of alarms. Unfortunately, I am not sure which of my friends has left it there, nor am I sure exactly what it means.
"Friend Raven?" I call. Moments later, the metal door slides open, and my friend's face appears in front of mine.
"Starfire?" She says, in the somewhat intimidating monotone she speaks in so often.
"Raven, I have found a flower in my room, but I do not understand why it was there. Perhaps you can help?" I hold out the flower, and Raven takes it from my hand. She examines the flower, and then turns to me.
"Someone is in love with you. You have a secret admirer."
"How do you know this?" I ask, tilting my head.
Raven sighs. "Red roses usually mean love."
I think for a moment, taking in this difficult explanation. "Please, how do I know who this secret admirer is?" I ask. I take the flower back and clutch it softly to my chest. "And how do I know they are in love with me?"
Raven stares at me for a long, long time. Finally she responds, "Whoever sent this to you… Whenever they look at you their heart pounds and they feel as though a thousand butterflies are flying in their stomach. Their face heats up and they don't quite know how to speak. But if they were to discover you loved someone else, or loved no one at all, they would feel as though their heart had shattered into a thousand pieces."
I look at her, and feel a bit as if I am seeing her in a new light. "I did not know you were so knowledgeable about love."
"Even I'm not completely emotionless." Raven says, before turning around and slamming her door behind her.
I sigh. This is going to be harder than I had thought. How am I to know which of my friends has these feelings for me? It is not as though I can feel their hearts.
"Starfire?" I turn around to see my very best friend, Robin, walking down the hallway. "What are you doing standing here?"
I feel my face heating up. There is a pounding in my chest, and my stomach seems as though it was filled with tiny butterflies flapping their wings. "I-I was j-just… I w-was…" I stutter, searching for the correct words. "I was simply talking to friend Raven."
"Oh, okay." Robin says, smiling. "Wanna go get some breakfast?"
I gulp. It is hard to find my voice. I than realize I am still holding the rose. I gasp. Thankfully, it is behind my back. But what if Robin were to see it? What would he think? "Y-yes. I will be there in a moment. P-please, go ahead without me."
Robin gazes at me, confused. Slowly, he brings he hand to my forehead. "Are you feeling alright, Star? You seem a bit shaky this morning,"
My face feels as though it is on fire, and the pounding and flapping have gotten much faster. I can no longer speak at all, and only manage to nod.
He shrugs, and proceeds to the kitchen. I take a moment to catch my breath, and walk back to my room to hide the flower.
What was happening back there? Why did I feel like that? Why was my face hot, and my heart pounding, and my stomach full of butterflies? Why could I not speak?
Wait… Heat, pounding, butterflies, no voice… Those are all the things Friend Raven mentioned! Those are all the symptoms of love! Could it be that I am in love?
Could it be that I am in love with Robin?
Quickly, I stash the rose in the drawer in my nightstand and pace to the kitchen. I can hear Robin chatting quietly with friend Beast Boy. My chest is throbbing. Just hearing his voice has made my heart beat faster!
What am I going to do? I cannot possibly live without Robin's friendship. If it were not for him and the rest of my friends, I would still be a servant to the Gordanians. But now I cannot seem to act like myself around Robin. I fear what it will do to our friendship.
I think back to the day Robin and I first met. The day I kissed him. For Tameraneans it is simply the way we learn languages and about cultures. But here on earth the meaning is so… Different. I have always wondered what Robin thought of me that day.
Oh! This is terrible! Simply terrible! But I must do something. I suppose that I shall try to act normally.
I take a deep breath and walk into the kitchen. Friend Cyborg and friend Beast Boy are playing the game station, and Robin is sitting on the couch. The three of them are talking about the T-Car. I decide it will be best if I join them.
"Hello friends!" I exclaim, sitting down next to Robin and smiling. But it is a forced smile, and I think Robin can see that.
"Hi Star!" Beast Boy and Cyborg say, not looking away from their game. Robin gives me the same confused look he had given me earlier in the hallway.
"Star, are you sure you feel okay?" He asks.
"U-um y-yes. Pl-pl-please, I-I am fine." I say. I am stuttering again. This is not going well.
"What's up with her?" Cyborg asks.
"I dunno. She's been like this all morning." Robin replies. He places his hand on my forehead again. "You're burning! Do you have a fever?"
I feel as though I am choking. I rapidly shake my head. Robin sighs. "I'm taking your temperature." He stands up, and I feel myself collapse.
The next thing I know, I am lying in my bed, with four faces above mine. "W-what happened?" I ask.
"You fainted." Robin replies.
"Is something wrong with her?" Friend Raven asks, one eyebrow raised.
"I don't know." Robin answers.
Suddenly, the alarm goes off. The lights are flashing. "Trouble!" Robin shouts. I struggle to stand up, but Raven stops me.
"You need rest." She says. "Stay here."
My friends leave the room. "Robin, wait!" I call. Robin comes back.
"Do you need something?" He asks.
I take a deep breath, and reach into my nightstand. "Robin, did you put this here?" I question, showing him the rose.
He has suddenly gone very, very pale. "I-I-I d-did." He stutters. He is stuttering? Does that mean that he is in love?
Does that mean that he is in love with me?
"Yo! Robin! C'mon! We have to leave now or Dr. Light is gonna get away!" Cyborg shouts from the other room.
Robin looks sad. "I'm sorry Star. I have to go." He turns to leave.
No! He cannot leave yet! This is my chance! I have to tell him!
"Robin…" I whisper. He looks at me.
I open my mouth to speak, but I cannot find my voice. This cannot be happening. I have to tell him. I just have to!
But no matter how hard I try, I cannot speak. I cannot say anything at all.
But I manage to smile.
And from across the room, I think Robin smiled back at me.
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Author's Notes
I love love love this story. I started writing it in July, got stuck, and than came back after I watched Go! and finished it. I'm not really sure where it came from. I think it's mostly just because Starfire is one of my favorite Teen Titans characters, and I really wanted to write about her. I also really love this pairing.! I decided to write it in present tense because it's supposed to seem a bit like you're inside of Starfire's head. I had about four different endings in mind, but I liked this one best. I also wasn't really sure who I wanted Starfire to talk to when she finds the letter. I decided on Raven because she's very close to Starfire, and she's one of the most experienced when it comes to love and heartbreak. The "loves someone else" was sort of referring to Beast Boy, and the "loves no one at all" was sort of referring to Malchior. I feel bad for Raven now! So much heartbreak! I hope you liked my story as much as I did!
Updated author's note, as of July 5, 2009: Funny thing about this story. Because of the references to Malchior and Terra, it would have to take after Spellbound. When I was writing this, I hadn't really thought about when Starfire realized she was in love with Robin, so here, I have her realizing it during or after season three. But, now that I've thought about it more, I think she knew by the end of Go!. I think Robin realized he was in love with Star in Apprentice part II, during the scene where he's aiming at her, and she tells him to kill her. I think that moment where Robin puts his weapon down and his face sort of changes, and he starts to tell her something but never finishes, that's when he realizes.
I'm not sure when they realize the feeling is mutual. Maybe Stranded? Trouble in Tokyo?
So, this story isn't valid to the Teen Titans universe by my own standards, nor is it canonical to any of my other works. It's just its own thing.