Yuuri:

"Viktor~! It's very early, get back to bed" I whined in a very uncharacteristically way.

But sue me. We were both finally retired and on the same day off. We are in Russia, in winter. The only thing I wanted to do today was cuddle with my husband, under the sheets, and be peppered with kisses by my Viktor.

"Viktor~!" I whined again, this time my hand reaching towards his side of the bed only to almost fall off "What the..." I rapidly incorporated myself and looked at my surroundings "This can't be happening... please Kami tell me that this is not fucking happening!"

The room I was in wasn't the master bedroom with a king size bed, back at Viktor's-ours- apartment in St. Petersburg. It was the small college room, which I used to share with Phichit, in Detroit.

I took deep breaths trying to stop the panic attack that I knew was coming and pinched myself with all the strength I had.

"Ouch!" I cursed myself in all the languages I knew and wondered how could Viktor support it when I ram into him with all my force- before blushing at the dirty thought I just had.

So, this is not a nightmare. I thought to myself. And what I lived with my Vitya couldn't be one either, not when all my memories are so solid. Then... did I time travel or something?

Wearily I stood up and headed towards the wardrobe and opened it, to see myself on the body mirror at the inside of the door.

I gasped, not believing my eyes. No sign of wrinkles or white hair. I looked younger than I even was when I met Viktor at the Grand Prix at Sochi. Then, I noticed that side Phichit's side was completely bare.

I am back to the time I didn't even have Phichit... why is fate so cruel? I almost laughed at my realization. I must be around eighteen-nineteen then.

I was snapped out of my trance when my phone started to vibe, knowing that I must have received a text I rapidly went to retrieve it. I almost cringed at the old model I used to have, I'm starting to really miss my Smartphone so much... and I've only been back in time less than an hour.

Yuuri, it's Celestino. This is my phone number. I just wanted to tell you that I'm giving you a free week to get used to the campus and the life so far away from home. Then I'm expecting you at the rink. We have to start preparing the routines for this skating season fast, the qualification events are already out. You got: Skate America, with Christophe Giacometti from Switzerland, and NHK Trophy, with Georgi Popovich from Russia. Both of them are a hard competition and ended up on the podium on the last Grand Prix.

I raised an eyebrow at the text, recalling how difficult my relationship with Ciao Ciao was at the beginning. Mostly because of my anxiety problems which he had no idea how to deal with, on example this text which sent me to a full bloom panic attack. My former coach has always been so relaxed and calm in almost every situation, being anxious it was almost strange for him.

Then again, I am not the same Yuuri I used to be. Facing Chris and Georgi doesn't scare me. The idea of a competition itself does make me anxious, that never left as I grew older. But I now know that I am good... to some extent at least. Living with Viktor for so many decades makes it impossible for me not to trust myself. Especially when he turn praising me an Olympic Sport.

I chuckled to myself at the fond memories of my husband, only to break down into tears when it finally hit me... I was in the past, without my Vitya. Viktor doesn't even know I exist!

I collapsed on my bed and couldn't bring myself to get up until I was dry and couldn't shed a single tear more. I just couldn't bare the idea of my husband not knowing who I was, not remembering everything we went through... not loving me.

Was this what Viktor felt when he came all the way to Japan, just to find out the man he feel in love with and left his very successful career didn't even remember when he seduced him. I thought, gaining a whole new respect for my husband. He was the one who stayed by my side for months no end trying to win me over, now it is my time to do that for him... for us.

I quickly got off the bed and got ready (showered, brushed my teeth, fixed my hair and dressed up- I really need knew clothes if I wanted to catch Viktor's attention). Then, I took my phone and laptop to greet the big world that social media was- not before sending a quick text to Celestino, notifying him that I had received his text.

Social Media has always been Phichit and Viktor's thing, but if I wanted to catch my husband's attention and see if he came back with me it was a necessity. The fact that I'm suddenly very active will be like red flags for my Vitya... if he had come back with me. Also, it will help attract sponsors which will help with all the costs my parents had to go through.

During my novice and junior years things were fine. Yuko's family let me use their rink whenever I wanted, Minako-sensei being my godmother never charged my parents for her classes and the coach we had back home wasn't that important and known so his fees weren't that expensive. Also, when I began competing I used all the prize money to pay my parents back for whatever extra things they had to spend money on. Not to mention that Hasetsu still hadn't gone through the decrease of tourism that they'll face this year.

However, when I entered the senior division my level four step sequence, difficult spins and my Triple Axel weren't enough. Adding my anxiety problems to the mix... let's just say I didn't win enough to help around. And decline many offers of endorsement deals and sponsors because I didn't think I deserved them. To my skating expenses, I added to my parents' troubles my college's fees. I never knew how much they supported me until Viktor pointed it out to me... how everyone back at home supported me.

This time around I won't have this on my conscious. I won't look back with regret and feel ashamed at what a bad son I was. I will win and make Hasetsu proud. I will gain sponsors to finance my skating career. And will get my degree early, so my parents won't have the weight of supporting my university studies for so many years.

I shook my head and scolded myself for getting ahead of myself. Seeing that my head was all over the place I decided to do a list of things I need to finish within this week. I left my computer and phone on my bed and headed to the desk, where I found a pen and some paper to start writing.

Join the world that social media is, gain some popularity. I already had Skype and e-mail, but those were more for personal use than another thing.

I needed to make a Facebook, Twitter and Instagram account. Start following all of those who became great friends and family in the future. I needed to contact my parents, Minako-sensei and Yuko for pictures during my competitions at juniors and some videos of my old ballet recitals. I myself had to start taking more photos of my life in Detroit- for if Viktor needed to know where to search me, that if he remembers. I could even open a YouTube account and download some videos of my dance practises, travel journals for when I have to go travel for competitions, some other teaching simple skating tricks and one or two about Japanese culture... some of me playing the piano to covers of songs is another good idea.

2. Organize things with the university, so they will allow me to take exams to show that I can get my degree early.

The first time around I had gained a masters degree in linguistics. The facts that after I retired I put it to use, helped me keep the information fresh. But what helped the most was that I had people who I constantly had to use my knowledge with: Japanese with my family back at Hasetsu; Italian with my coach, Sara and Michele; English during my interviews; Thai with Phichit. Now I can add Russian under my belt. I will need to go through the standard courses for sure but that will only take me a year, two if I decide not to attend classes while I am in competing. If it turns out that Viktor does not remember me and I need to stay longer in Detroit I might add French to the mix, I always regretted never being able to share the language held so dear by my Vitya.

3. Go every afternoon until it closes to the rink and get reused to my young body and my old routines again.

If the social media movement does not get his attention, which surely won't cause my husband does not pay the best attention to other things that do not involve him. In other words, he is self-centered. Our routines of In Regards of Love: Eros and Yuuri on ice surely will. Even if he does not remember our life together, he always told me that he feel in love with me through my dancing and skating- maybe I can do achieve the same again.

4. Become friends Ketty Abelashvili, so I can gain an "old" back and she can help me with recreating the music for my FS.

Even after I moved out of Detroit I kept in contact with Ketty, she has always been a very close friend of mine. Having her back in my life will help me out a lot with dealing with the fact that I am all alone in the past, especially since Phichit isn't here yet. I could bump into her and start a conversation, maybe go out shopping with her. Built some confidence between us and then ask her if she could help me out with my musical problem.

The only thing that she'll have to do is record me playing the piano and give it some touches to make it perfect. The first time around it was Ketty the one who played the piano, but I cannot afford the time for her to practise the melody. Luckily, when I finally retired the first time around, before working I decided to take a year to myself and relax. I took piano lessons out of whim, seeing as so many of my program music were piano compositions. I also took extra Russian classes to reinforce what I have learnt until then... or will learn?

This is all very confusing! I groaned in my head, not liking this situation at all.

With a sigh I got back to my bed and began working on the first point of the list. It was a brand new day, in my brand new life. But one thing will never change: I will always want Viktor by my side. And this time it's my turn to work for it... for our future.