Captain's log, stardate 8017.4. We are currently en route to Vulcan to pick up Ambassador Sarek for the Babel Conference. Once we have assembled all the delegates, we can proceed. We also have a distinguished passenger, Admiral Talunas, who is returning to Vulcan to work on the findings from the Romulan encounter last year.

Kirk tapped his computer to finish his log before leaning back in his chair. His mind wandered back to the long battle with the Bird-of-Prey that had destroyed various Earth Outposts along the Neutral Zone. It had nearly destroyed the Enterprise itself, thanks to a combination of a destructive plasma torpedo system and a remarkable invisibility screen. Despite the damage from the red fireballs and the nuclear device, the Enterprise had come out intact, but with the loss of a crewman due to get married on that day. Luckily, the bride had got over it and had a fun time at the amusement park planet, but still...

"Come in!" called the captain when he heard his doorbell ring. When he saw who was behind the door, he stood up and straightened his wraparound tunic. "Ah, Admiral, how can I help?"

"Can I come in, Captain?" she asked softly. The brightness of the corridor and the darkness of Kirk's quarters highlighted the blue tone of her skin, yet also showed her dark hair. Blue skin was normal for Andorians, but not black hair. Antennae was normal for Andorians, but not pointed ears. However, black hair and pointed ears were normal for Vulcans.

"Yes, come in, ma'am."

The Admiral walked through and without asking sat down. Kirk, returning to his seat, could now see her clearly and saw that she was loosening her wraparound tunic. "You wanted to see me, Captain?"

"Yes, ma'am, we're near Vulcan. Did you, uh, notice the shaking and start seeing things, like another you was left behind?"

"Yes, I did. I sensed much electromagnetic interference, as though someone was pulling us away,"

"Is that all?"

"It was. Anything else, Kirk?"

"Well, now you're here, I want to ask more on the cloaking device. What is it?"

"It's as we expected," Talunas said. "It bends light through teleporting particles, it's different from Suliban devices, and the Romulans hadn't yet made the device one-way only. That's all I can say."

Kirk felt himself roll his tongue around his mouth. Composing himself, he said, "Mr Spock tells me that he's never heard of you."

"That's his problem," said the admiral, who smiled brightly.

"I find it a bit... very odd that this is so as Lieutenant Uhura and Commander Scott tell me you designed something as important to this mission as the ship itself."

"I did. Have a guess, Kirk. Have 3. You won't get it."

"Not the ship... Type-1 phasers?"

"No, nowhere near."

"The rec room based on Xyrillian tech?"

"I wish! One more!"

"The tricorders?"

"No! Hehe... What do you always have with you on duty?"

Kirk's eyes wandered up to the ceiling in despair. What did he have? Then it slammed right into his head. "You designed these uniforms!"

"The last design, I was on the team. This design is mine!"

"Well, uh, um, that's very good. Uh... "

"Those weeks were the highlight of my life."

"What are all these photos?" asked the wide-eyed new captain of the Exeter. "I see everything from everywhere."

"And a very good morning to you too," said Admiral Talunas. "So you're the one whose now driving my old ship."

"I am."

Talunas stared down at Ronald Tracey for him to move aside before she talked through the stuff on the wall of her office. "22nd century Starfleet uniform colours, Vulcan bridal wear, Earth mid-20th century fashion, Earth designer William Ware Theiss."

"You are designing the next phase of uniforms. Good luck, Admiral. Goodbye."

The departure of Tracey allowed Talunas to concentrate properly again. "22nd century, definitely taking the colours. No more beige. I'll bring back red."

The colour scheme established, Talunas said, "I think I'll copy from here," as she inspected another photo, this one of an Andorian sailor from one of the ancient ice cutters. "Yes, those flares, I'll have them."

With that done, the admiral picked up another yet photograph, that of the most recent addition to the Federation, the Ashurites. "What shall I do with you?"

The Ashurites were a recent addition to the Federation, a race that had achieved a similar cultural and technical level to Earth in 2063, yet had a fashion sense similar to Earth in 63 BC. One of the orders given to Talunas was that she should try to accommodate cultures like them. Like the Earth Assyrians, Greeks, and Romans, this lot found the idea of wearing trousers odd, even off-putting.

"Luckily, I've dealt with that," the Admiral thought as she picked up the prototype for her 'Octopus' pattern. Lieutenant Commander Y-55-R, who looked like an octopus, was comfortable in the colour skirt wrapped around the main body. "I'll size this down."

"That makes sense," said Kirk. "The prior uniform had the option, but almost no one wore it though. Why is it so popular now?"

"That's another story," said the admiral. She pulled her chair a bit closer to Kirk and let her wraparound fall away completely. "From what I hear, it's the sort of thing you like on women."

"Do I?" Kirk asked without any visible reaction to Talunas' behaviour. "What makes you think that?"

"Just a guess. Anyway, do you want to hear more?"

"I do, but I have no, uh, interest in what my crew wears as long as it follows regulations. After the Charlie Evans... incident, where Ensign Oriana was rapid aged 60 years, trousers amongst the female crew fell out of fashion, just to clarify."

"Sure, sure, Captain. I believe you."

Kirk stared down at his desk, unsure what his actual views were. It was as his eyes followed the patterns on the desk that a thought bumped into the front of his mind. "I remember something my former yeoman, Rand, said. She said she was involved in the design, Admiral."

"Janice Rand, yes, as one of the research subjects. We had Starfleet personnel come from all over the Federation, even a few Xindi-Arboreals. Rand said that the skirt variant was a great idea. The Ashurite representative, Pileser, agreed."

"What are these tights for, Admiral?" demanded Rab-Shakeh Pileser as he sampled the new designs.

"They have the same protective properties as trousers," said Talunas. "In the industrialised wars of Earth, Vulcan, and Tellar, soldiers who traditionally wore kilts or skirts wore tights to give themselves extra protection in a gas attack."

"Very well," said Pileser as he finished putting on the uniform. Stroking his beard, he said, "Yes, this will do fine. Our planet has come a long way since impaling and flaying, and this will be a great start. Long live Ashur, long live the Federation."

"I'm glad I could be of help."

"One last question about the uniform," Kirk said. "Wraparound, I wear this when I can, I feel important. Why did you have this though instead of the old captain's jackets?"

"I wanted to be different, that's all. Is that all, Captain?"

"Well, why did you undo your wraparound?"

Talunas smiled, her antennae bending down towards Kirk. "I just wanted to see how you'd react. You're very professional, Kirk. Good." Suddenly towering over the captain, she said, "If some of my other ideas had got through, I doubt you'd have been so."

"No," said Commodore Decker.

"Matt, I don't..."

"No."

Option 3 for the new uniform had officers wear a golden wraparound belt, all their medals, no assignment patch, and the Federation seal. However, the captain's uniform was sleeveless, and the female uniform had a bare midriff, no sleeves, and rank indicated by golden rings on the arm. The team assembled in Starfleet Headquarters had done a collective facepalm the moment they saw it.

"I'd wear it, Matt."

The commander of the Constellation sighed and folded his arms. "We're a serious alliance, not a barbaric empire."

"I would not in a million years," said Ensign Moreau. "Admiral, I support Option 2, the one with the slightly wider collar."

"However," said and Orion named Commander Irian, "I am intrigued to know why you propose a high heel option."

"To raise a shorter officer's height and make them more confident."

"No, not for rank-and-file," said Decker. "Make them like your wraparound, an option only for captains and above."

"I'd go with that," said Irian.

"I agree too," said Moreau.

"You would," the Orion said. "You'd make a perfect member of our species in the way you advance your career."

"What's the matter, Kirk?" Talunas asked after the captain burst out laughing.

"My trip in that other... fun house mirror universe. It was exactly like that!"

"I read of that, yes. I was both delighted and horrified to know my other ideas were in use but by those kinds of people. It meant Commodore Decker was right."

"Bridge to Captain," Uhura's voice cutted through the air. "We are entering the Vulcan system. Ambassador Sarek will be boarding by shuttlecraft."

"Time to go," said the admiral. She tightened her wraparound and headed for the door. "Goodbye, Kirk."

"Thank you, Admiral," Kirk replied. "This has been a most... enlightening evening."