There was a time when men were kind
I remember when I was just a little girl of 2, my brother Guy would always make sure I was entertained. He would play with me in the fields, never complaining that I was annoying or that he should be somewhere else. He would always find the time to play with his little sister, no matter what the weather was.
When their voices were soft and their words inviting
When we were young, Guy never raised his voice at me. He only shouted when he was angry with but, that was rarely. I remember in the autumn when the thunderstorms would rage and rumble, Guy would soothe me with soft words. He used to sing to me and wrapped up in his arms I would instantly surrender to sleep. His words were my comfort.
There was a time when love was blind
There was no doubt about the love between me and Guy. I mean as siblings normally do, we would fight everyday but, no matter what was said between us during those fights, we knew we both still loved each other. We were oblivious to what was around us and no matter what emotions we felt, love always prevailed. It was the time when I always thought my brother loved me and I always believed our relationship would never change.
Where the world was a song and the song was exciting
One of the fondest memories I have was our family Christmases together. It was on those occasions that I would see how happy we were as a family and I could see the love my brother had for me. I remember Guy and I would race to see who could decorate the house the fastest. Afterwards, once the house was decorated for the celebrations, Guy and I would chase each other around the house. Guy would always catch me in the end and with his arms around my waist he used to spin me around until the whole room went dizzy. We would then collapse on the floor in heaps of laughter. It was those times I enjoyed being with my brother. The times where we messed around like siblings did and got on our parents' nerves.
There was a time, it all went wrong
But those happy childhood memories never do last. Tragedy after tragedy soon followed us and our lives turned upside down. My relationship with my brother started to collapse.
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
If I close my eyes and surrender to my dreams, I can see a time when life was so perfect. A time when my life and my brother's were perfect. In those dreams I can see an image of a happy childhood. I see a young girl, 4 years of age walking hand in hand with her older brother. As they walk, I hear them laughing and smiling at each other. It seems to me that they are in a world of their own. Oblivious to the world around them. As I surrender to them I feel as if I'm with them. I feel as if I know these dreams. These aren't dreams but memories of a past long ago. Memories of my past. The young girl of 4 is me and the older brother she is holding hands with is my brother.
When hope was high and life worth living
These memories I see in my dreams are of a happier time in our lives. My brother Guy was my protector. He used to encourage me, used to tell me I was strong. He gave me hope and for that I idolized him as a knight in shining armour. A knight from one of those tales he used to tell me. It was those moments that we shared as brother and sister that I loved. Those were the times when we didn't hate each other like we did in our later years. We enjoyed our times as a brother and sister should.
I dreamed that loved would never die
His love for me was strong and made me feel as if I was the only one that mattered to him. Made me feel safe. He told me that he would never let anyone hurt me and that if they did, they would have him to deal with. I was so proud to have a older brother like him. He loved me as I loved him. He was my brother and I was his little sister.
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Just like with any normal siblings, Guy and I would have our fights. There would be times when I would annoy him and he would annoy me. But, at the end of the day we would always apologize. Guy never stayed angry at me for long nor would he mean the words he said when I used to annoy him. Neither would I mean the words I said when I was angry at him. He was my brother, and yes, he could be annoying but, no matter what I still loved him.
Then I was young and unafraid
When I was little I was never afraid of anything. Guy was always by my side and whenever something would frighten me, Guy would be there. I remember during the thunderstorms and lonely nights when we didn't want to wake our parents, Guy would embrace me in his arms, stroke my hair and sing me lullabies. Nothing could scare me as long as he was there. And nothing ever would.
When dreams were made and used and wasted
When I was young I always had these dreams that when I grew up, Guy would always be with me. I always thought that we would live together in a huge mansion. But, there were times when those dreams were dashed. Father used to tell me that when I grew up, Guy would not always be around. Guy would have a family of his own and I would as well. Thinking that I wasn't always going to have my brother around, I used to get upset and I would hide in my bedroom. Guy would hear me crying and come in. When I told him what father had said, Guy told me although he may not be with her, he would never be too far. He always said that if I ever needed him he would come back for me.
There was no ransom to be paid, no song unsung, no wine untasted
When we were little, Guy and I lived in the small village of Locksley. In our village there were some local boys who used to bully me. But whenever they started to bully me Guy would instantly be there by my side, defending me. Afterwards when we went home, Guy used to tell me that no matter what anyone said, he would always defend me. He said that no one should be allowed to talk to his sister like that. He told me that no one was as lucky as him to have a little sister like and said that he would sing to the end and back just to see me smile. I used to love it when he sung to me in his deep, rich, velvety voice.
But the tigers come at night with their voices soft as thunder
During our younger years, my relationship with my brother was good. Then suddenly our lives turned upside down. Our father was outcast as a leper and then our parents died in a fire. We were left with absolutely nothing. It was then my relationship with my brother began to get strained. To ensure we had a life worth living, Guy told me he had made a decision. He told me that with this opportunity we would be able to live together. We would be able to be a family again. I was pleased that I was able to stay with my brother.
As they tear your hope apart
But, then I found out what that decision was. He had sold me into a marriage with an older man. I was just 13 years old at the time and my brother, my own flesh and blood had sold me to a much older man. Any hope of us being a family again was gone and it was then I realized my brother had changed. It was then, the day when my brother told me what he had done that I knew our relationship could never go back to the way it was when we were young.
As they turn your dreams to shame
Before Guy, sold me off to Squire Thornton. Before he even made the bargain with him, Guy had told me, had promised me that he would take care of me. He would be that protective older brother. But, in the end he who had made all those promises, was the one to break them. It was those broken promises when I realized that I had to forget my brother. Forget about who he was and what he had become. He was no longer the brother I knew.
He slept a summer by my side, he filled my days with endless wonder
In the summers when our parents were still alive, Guy and I used to lie in the barley fields, looking at the sky. We used to lie there till dusk and as I laid there, with Guy next to me, he used to tell me stories of far away lands, of knights and fair maidens. I used to listen intently as he told me about those lands and as I would listen I would imagine what the world held outside of our village of Locksley.
He took my childhood in his stride
I was only 10 when our parents died and though Guy, who was 18 at the time was still too young himself, he made it his duty as an older brother to take care of me.
He made sure I was provided for and so he started taking on work in the household of some distant French relatives. Through his hard work we had enough money to live off on.
But he was gone when autumn came
However, by autumn he would be gone and I would never see my brother again. The day of my wedding would be the last time I would see Guy and in those days leading up to that dreadful day, I had a knot in my stomach. I knew my wedding day would not be the happiest day of my life, instead my wedding would be one that would haunt me for the rest of my life. It would be the day when I saw my brother change into the man he would become. The man I would grow to hate. He would be the instrument in our destructive relationship that would occur in later years.
And still I dream he'll come to me
I have been in my unhappy, abusive marriage for 5 years now and although it may have been my brother who, condemned me to this life of misery, I do believe that he had no idea what my married life held for the day he gave me away. Thornton had played the gentleman, but alas that was just a guise for his real character. Guy never raised a hand to me. And when he finds out what my husband has done to me he will rescue me. He will be that protective older brother, the one who would do anything for his little sister. He will protect me from my husband. He will make sure Thornton never lays another hand on me again.
That we will live the years together
When the day comes when my brother rescues me, we will begin again. We will start a new life together and be a family. We will be brother and sister again. He will protect me, make sure Thornton never finds us and if Thornton lays a single hand on me, Guy will kill him.
But there are dreams that cannot be
Yet, in my heart I know this dream is hopeless. This dream, the one I have held onto since I was that little 13 year old girl will never come true. No matter how hard I pray Guy will never come back to me.
And there are storms we cannot whether
My life is a misery and I live in constant fear that my husband's punishments will become unbearable. I live in fear of my life because my husband has that control over me. My husband will never allow my brother to set foot in his home. He is my husband after all and I am his possession. I will have to endure his abuse as best I can. The only regret I have is that I will never see my brother again, will never hear him sing to me like he did when we were kids.
I had a dream my life would be so different from this Hell I'm living
My life now is not what I imagined it would be. I live in constant terror and my husband has made it a living Hell. I always imagined that when I grew up I would have a family and Guy would have one too. I dreamed that we would live nearby each other and our children would grow up in a loving environment. I always hoped that Guy would be there to defend me.
So different now from what it seemed
I never imagined I would be living like this. I never believed that Guy was capable of doing something like this to his own little sister. I always imagined it would be different. Different from what I feel right now. I always thought I would love my brother and he would love me. I never thought I would come to hate him as much as I do now. I always thought our relationship would be as it was when we were kids. Alas, it seems to me that I never really knew my brother at all. He isn't the person he used to be when I was little. He isn't the brother I used to idolize. All his promises of being the brother I wanted were broken empty promises. He was too ambitious to realize his decisions were hurting those who loved him. He was to stubborn to realize what the consequences would be. And because of that he destroyed our relationship.
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed
Guy, the brother I once loved, once looked up to is no longer the brother I knew. He is no longer the brother I loved. All his words of love and promises were lies. A façade for his own gain. Our relationship can never be what it was. He can never the brother he once was. And I can never love him as I once did.