AN: the story takes place in season 1 (be kind and play along... pleaaase...). You all know they don't belong to me!
Review and feedback: well now that you mention it... I really appreciate it so don't hesitate.
Enjoy!
Almost here
Brennan watched the name engraved in the rough stone and a silent tear burnt its way down his cheek. His fingers reflexively crushed the ring in his palm, the pain overwhelming, tearing his heart to pieces. His angel was gone and nothing would ever mend the deep gash in his soul; he would have to live with it. The coldness of the winter day made him shiver, filling his heart with ice. Everything was empty. Slowly he left the top of the mountain never turning back, leaving his heart with the only woman he had ever truly loved.
Gently, soundlessly as the sun died behind the grayish clouds, snow started to fall covering everything, giving the world an illusion of innocence.
XXX
"How is he?"
Shalimar looked up from the screen to meet Jesse's worried eyes.
"Just like any other day. After the mission he locked himself in his bedroom, listening to that song over and over and drinking. I tried to speak to him… but he just turned the volume up."
Jesse sighed and sat close to the feral. All of them were hurting. Emma's death was not something they had been ready to face and yet they had to cop with it. Brennan had taken it worse than he or Shalimar; even Adam seemed to get over it in his own twisted way.
"He needs time, Shal. It's only been two weeks. She was like a sister to him and I think he blames himself for what happened on that mission."
She took his hand gently squeezing it.
"I know, Jesse. I would be a total wreck if you were the one who had died in that explosion."
Both friends sat in silence taking comfort in the presence of the other. The accident was a painful reminder of their fragility. They might have some pretty special abilities but they were not immortals.
XXX
The elemental looked at the calendar and sighed. Two weeks. She had been gone for two weeks and that little span of time seemed like a painful eternity. He could still see her shadow everywhere in Sanctuary, hear her laughter trickling like a wild source, feel the warmth of her presence, smell her perfume in the lab or in the halls. If he closed his eyes, she was just in front of him, smiling, glowing like an angel, telling him that everything would be alright. Every part of the place he called home held little reminders of her. But each time he tried to touch her, she would vanish leaving him empty and desperate. An unbelievable pain had settled in his heart that day and he could do nothing to dislodge it.
Wearily he flopped on his bed and closed his eyes. He knew sleep would come quickly because of the alcohol; he also knew his dreams would be filled with memories of her. And in the morning, they would vanish again. Only sadness would remain. Like every other day, he would go on missions without even really caring for his own life. Many times he had thought that death would be welcomed. It would lead him to Emma; they would be together at last. He would finally be able to tell her how much he cared. He had always thought he would have the time. But fate had decided for him. His dreams were now like sand slipping through his fingers.
As he drifted to sleep, he felt her hand so warm, so soothing touching his cheek in a feathery way only she possessed, and he could have sworn she was beside him. But he knew better, this was just his drunken imagination deluding him.
XXX
Two weeks earlier…"Emma, have you found anything yet?"
The young woman sighed annoyed. Having Brennan calling her every minute was definitely not a good thing if they had to remain undetected. The guards were outside the room and maintaining the illusion was hard enough. She didn't need him to ask her the same question again and again. She could understand his worry but they were professionals and he should be able to deal with his feelings.
"I have what we need. I'm coming back now."
The psionic had barely reached the hall where he was waiting for her when all the alarms went on.
In less than a few seconds, the lights went out and were replaced by red emergency lights. Time seemed to slow down as Brennan watched her running in his direction. He felt the ground trembling beneath his feet and quickly took her hand. They ran frantically trying to reach a safety exit. As they were outside, Emma abruptly turned around and ran back inside before he had the time to stop her. The door closed behind her and the west wing of the building exploded a few seconds later spreading a shower of metallic scraps glass and concrete.
Brennan stood there paralyzed, unable to realize what had happened. Nearly ten minutes later, Shalimar and Jesse found him standing with glazed eyes glued on the smoldering ruins that had once been a lab. When the feral asked him where Emma was, he turned his head to look at her stunned. His mouth opened a few times, but no sound came out. Instead, he just turned around to stare at the fire. Emma was gone.
XXX
The months flew in a haze; spring replaced winter and nature bloomed with renewed strength. Sometimes Brennan felt angry against the persistence of seasons; nature's will to erase everything and start again was so strong so overwhelming that it crushed his already bruised soul. In those moments, he would just take Emma's favorite book and sit close to the rock where her name was written. It gave him the illusion that wherever she was, the wind would carry the words to her.
With time his dreams of her faded; he learnt to hide his pain behind a half smile. When Jesse or Shalimar asked him if he was ok he would just give his new favorite answer: fine, I'm perfectly fine. But the regrets remained darkening his heart and soul. And when the weight of her absence was too heavy he would just go to her room and sit on the bed for hours; there he could remember her smile, her laugh without being bothered or having to hide. He would take strength in small details she had shared with him.
He refused to burry her memory; he refused to let her go. Somewhere deep in his heart, he couldn't believe she was dead.