Disclaimer: SnK is not mine. It's depressing enough as it is without me meddling.
A/N: Hello darlings! Yes, I am alive! It took me a while to write this out, but I've actually had the idea for a couple of years now. But never mind that, it's finally done, and just in time for the SnK Big Bang Challenge too! My partner for this piece is the wonderful maneformorkelse ( maneformorkelse. tumblr ) (just get rid of the spaces). Go check out her work! A couple of illustrations have been finished so far, but she's planning to do more for this fic so I'm just gonna add the finished artworks when they're done. That said, enjoy! Please do tell me what you think, yeah?
Warnings: Fluff that turns into surprise angst (which, incidentally, isn't a surprise anymore because of this warning. But yeah, trigger warnings and everything). Cuteness overload but also major character death.
Choosing You
The sound of porcelain hitting the kitchen floor broke Levi out from his reverie. His eyes automatically sought out the mess, taking in the scattered pieces of what used to be his favorite mug. He turned his unamused gaze to his lover.
"Of all the mugs, it had to be that one."
The boyish face looked even younger with that sheepish expression, clearly embarrassed and apologetic.
"Tch. You clumsy brat."
His admonishment held no bite despite the seemingly harsh words. He couldn't even feel annoyance with those huge puppy eyes trained on him. Not for the first time, Levi swore to himself that those should be made illegal.
"Bzzzzt! Bzzzzt!" went their buzzer.
"I'll get it. You'd better be cleaning this up when I get back."
Levi exited the kitchen and crossed the living room, wondering who could be at his door right now. He wasn't expecting any visitors today. He frowned. One of Eren's friends, maybe? It was a Sunday though… And he had wanted Eren all to himself that day. He opened the door.
"Hey, Levi! I brought you some cake!"
If it wasn't Hanji Zoe, eccentric scientist extraordinaire.
"Shitty Glasses," Levi greeted her. "Wipe your shoes on the mat or I'll kick you out." He made room for her to pass, closing the door behind her as she moved. "What's with the cake?"
"Oh, I just went overboard when I was baking. I kind of made too much, so… yeah," she laughed as she skipped to the kitchen, only to stop abruptly. "Whoa, what's this?!"
Levi looked over from behind her as he caught up. The mess from earlier was still untouched with Eren nowhere in sight. His eyebrow twitched.
"Oi Eren! Didn't I tell you to clean this up?!"
Hanji jumped at his outburst.
"I'm here in the laundry room, the dryer's alarm went off!" came the slightly muffled voice from afar. A short pause, and then, "I'll fix that in a bit!"
"Damn brat," Levi muttered, already starting to sweep the broken pieces so Hanji could step into the kitchen. "I swear to god he's doing this on purpose so I'd end up cleaning his mess for him."
He looked up as Hanji made a strangled sound. She looked like she was about to cry.
"What's wrong with you? Did you step on a shard? Don't bleed on my floor."
"No, no, I'm okay!" she was quick to reassure, "I'm just… I remembered that Sawney looked sick this morning! I'd have to get him and Bean checked up at the vet's. Sorry Levi, I have to run... Enjoy the cake!" With that, she left the box on the counter and all but ran out the apartment. It was odd behavior, but Levi had long been used to the randomness of his friend's quirks. He sighed as he dumped the remnants of his mug in the trash bin. As though summoned by the tinkling shards, Eren appeared in the kitchen smelling faintly of freshly washed clothes. "Who was that?"
"You made me clean your mess again." Levi put away the cleaning materials. "It was Hanji. She brought that," he pointed to the box on the counter.
Despite his natural curiosity, Eren bypassed the mystery box and went straight to his lover, loosely wrapping his arms around him.
"Awwwww don't sulk, Lee-vi! I already said I was sorry…" He pouted when he received no response. He pecked twice at Levi's lips sweetly and rubbed their noses together. "Don't be mad?"
Levi made the mistake of looking into those eyes up close, the turquoise strands successfully putting him under their spell. Again. He sighed.
"You've become too spoiled."
Eren just grinned, knowing that all has been forgiven. He squeezed hard once and landed a smacker on unsuspecting lips.
"I love you!" He let go and immediately went to explore the box and its contents.
That sneaky little—
But Levi wouldn't have him any other way.
Levi hated mornings by default, but found them more tolerable ever since he and Eren had gotten together. He buried his nose in Eren's neck, inhaling his scent for all he was worth.
More tolerable indeed.
He nibbled a bit at the exposed collarbone, earning him a cute little whine for his trouble.
"Oi, get off me already. Do you want to be late?"
All he got was a half-hearted groan and a tighter hug.
"Wake up, Eren Jäger! I want to have breakfast today and I can't have that if we don't get up now."
Bleary sea-foam eyes opened.
"At the café?"
Levi nodded and Eren reluctantly relinquished his hold to go and start getting ready himself.
They quickly showered and dressed, locking up and briskly walking hand-in-hand to the quaint little café down the street, just a block away from their apartment. It was owned by one of Eren's friends. The tinkle of the tiny bell on the door announced their entry, and they were ushered to their usual booth.
"Good morning!"
Historia's cheerfulness was as infectious as ever and the pair found themselves smiling back.
"The usual, I presume?"
"Yes," Levi nodded, "Thank you."
"It will be just for a few minutes. I placed the order in advance." The petite girl winked conspirationally. She turned to Levi. "So, how are things?"
"Just fine," he replied, "except Eren here killed my favorite mug yesterday." Historia's eyes briefly glanced at Eren as Levi gestured to her friend. That mug had been bought from that very shop, personally crafted by herself, commissioned by a certain shitty brat for his boyfriend. She couldn't help the slightly tearful expression that graced her pretty face.
"Mooouuuuuu," Eren whined, "I already said I was sorry… I'm the last person who would want that mug to be destroyed! Or did you forget that I was the one who had it made for you?" He turned his pitiful puppy eyes at his friend, imploring her to believe him. "I didn't do it on purpose, I swear!"
Historia opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by an arm draping over her shoulder. It was Ymir.
"Hey Owner, we need you in the kitchen. Sasha's trying to eat Eren's breakfast again. Connie would be ripping his hair out by now if he had any." She nodded to the couple as Historia excused herself.
When they were out of earshot, Eren frowned at Levi. "You're being mean. You almost made her cry!"
Levi sighed. "Yeah, I guess I was. Sorry." He had never liked the feeling of upsetting Eren for real.
Soon their meals were served by Historia herself, and Levi apologized for causing her some distress, feeling a tiny bit worse when he saw that the blonde's eyes were suspiciously puffy. She waved it off, saying it was okay, and excused herself once more, rushing to the kitchen.
The guilt in Levi's heart lifted when Eren smiled at him sweetly, appreciative of his attempt to right his wrong. They ate in companionable silence, and all was right in the world.
What started out as a good day quickly turned sour as the day progressed with shitty meetings, indecisive clients, incompetent subordinates, and now this.
Levi folded his napkin and set it down on the table. He had lost whatever remained of his appetite. He stared impassively at the only woman who would dare utter such words to him.
Mikasa stared back, her features stubbornly set. It was no doubt a family trait. She took a sip of her tea and set it down, clearing her throat.
"I will ask this of you one last time, Levi."
He could feel the pressure from his blunt fingernails against his palms as his hands closed into fists on his lap. Still, he said nothing.
"Please let go of my brother."
His eyes flashed, but the tone of his voice remained cold and even. His glare was sharp as a sword, pointed straight at her.
"Then let me tell you this one last time, Ackerman. He is not for you to coddle anymore. He's an adult who made a conscious choice to be with me. I don't know why you simply refuse to support him, considering how happy he is—which is actually hard to miss; but know that I'm never letting him go. Deal with it."
Levi didn't wait for a response. He stood, fished some bills from his coat pocket and slapped them on the table, not looking back even once as he left his lover's sister behind, an unreadable expression on her beautiful face.
The company party had gone from mildly relaxing to bat-shit insane in the space of a few hours, as it was wont to do whenever alcohol was involved. But then Levi supposed it would be stupid of the employees not to take advantage of the company paying for them to have a good time for a change. He never drank in those parties though, he just didn't see the point in getting all wasted, doing totally uncharacteristic and crazy things only to sport a hang-over and regrets the next day when he could be doing… other things. Like fucking Eren and/or being fucked by Eren, of course. He wiped the lecherous grin off his face lest someone saw. He pushed himself off the wall he had been leaning against for the past twenty minutes and made his way to the elevator. It was time to go home and do things. He couldn't help the smirk that appeared on his face as the elevator doors closed.
His footsteps echoed in the silence of the parking lot. Hardly any cars were missing; the party was still in full swing, after all. He fished his keys as he neared his car, but stopped at the sight of someone pressing his face on the window of the car parked beside his own.
"What the fuck are you doing, you shitty boss?"
The blond-haired, blue-eyed shitty boss laughed. "Levi! Am I glad to shee you," he slurred.
Levi frowned at his long-time friend. "Seriously, Erwin. Getting shit-faced at a party like this isn't like you. You shouldn't be driving if you're this drunk anyway." He approached the other man to see what was wrong.
"My keesh are inshide…"
Oh god. Of all the stupid things, Erwin had to lock himself out of his own car.
"Come on. I'll drive you to your house."
Erwin shook his head slowly.
What now?
"Can't go hooome… Keesh in glove comprart—compartment…"
Levi sighed. Why did Erwin have to live all alone in a huge-ass mansion?! He should've just married or gotten an apartment; at least then it wouldn't be hard to get him home without his keys. It can't be helped then.
"You can crash at my place. Come on."
"You shuure?"
Levi nodded, certain that Eren wouldn't really mind. He let out a frustrated huff. Doing things would have to wait.
"Just don't puke in my car."
Finally arriving after stumbling almost the whole way up the apartment, Levi half-dragged his drunk boss inside and closed the door behind them. Levi was a lot stronger than he looked, so it was with relative ease that he dumped his friend on the couch and made a bee-line for the kitchen, fetching the blond a nice cold glass of water. It would at least lessen the inevitable hang-over.
He found Erwin with his head against the soft arm rest, eyes closed and brows slightly furrowed. Levi set the glass down on the coffee table and sat beside his friend.
"At least drink this before you pass out," Levi grunted as he righted Erwin and reached for the glass.
"I'm not passing out, juzz waitin' for the world to shtop sshpinning."
Levi rolled his eyes at that, but helped him anyway. He watched as Erwin slowly finished the whole glass before placing it back on the table. The friends sat in companionable silence, Levi on stand-by just in case Erwin decided to introduce his dinner to the carpet—or worse, to the couch. Erwin had his eyes closed, leaning back on the cushy sofa with his head upright.
Enough time had passed for Erwin to sober up a little.
Levi frowned, "You don't drink this much unless something's really bothering you."
Erwin said nothing. Levi sighed. "Just sleep it off, okay? I'll have Eren make you some of his hang-over cure in the morning."
It was as if a switch had been flipped, and Erwin turned to him, eyes flashing. "You want to know what's wrong? I'll show you what's wrong!" He grabbed Levi's wrist and stood, dragging him towards the bedroom Levi shared with Eren.
Realizing where they were going, Levi tried to wrench his wrist away but Erwin's grip was too tight. "What are you doing?! Be quiet, Eren's still sleeping!" he hissed.
Erwin paid him no mind as he banged the door open and practically threw Levi by the side of the bed.
"This is what's wrong!" He gestured wildly at the neatly-made bed.
Levi's eyes were wide, taking in the vast emptiness that seemed to stretch well beyond the expanse of the bed, his heart pounding in his ears.
Where's Eren?
He tried to stand, but his legs were shaking too much to support his own weight. He frantically looked around, a nagging sense of urgency fueling his actions. He had to find him!
Where's Eren?!
Eren was supposed to be peacefully sleeping like the angel that he was, right over there on his side of the bed but—
"Where's Eren?" he asked weakly. His eyes darted around wildly and caught the door at the far end of the room. The bathroom! He visibly started to calm down.
"I don't know why you're being like this, Erwin." Levi started to get on his feet. "Thankfully Eren's just in the bathroom so you didn't—"
"EREN IS DEAD! HE'S BEEN GONE FOR OVER A YEAR NOW!" Erwin yelled, tears of frustration leaking from his eyes. "I can't watch you do this to yourself anymore! None of us can!" Running out of steam, he slumped to the floor in front of his friend. Witnessing how devastated Levi had been at that time, none of them had the heart to jog Levi's memories to make him live through that again.
"W-What are you saying?" Levi whispered. The pounding in his head had come back with a vengeance and he raised his trembling hands to hold the sides of his head, and without warning, pictures of a pale Eren smiling sadly flashed before his eyes, a phantom sterile smell crept up his nostrils, a maddening monotone of a flatline invaded his ears, a crippling fear crushed his chest; and suddenly he couldn't breathe, gasping as he fell to his knees. His world had spun out of its axis and somehow small inconsequential things clicked and suddenly made sense.
Hanji made a strangled sound. She looked like she was about to cry.
"Hey Owner, we need you in the kitchen. Sasha's trying to eat Eren's breakfast again."
"Please let go of my brother."
"No," Levi looked at Erwin imploringly. "No, please… Please tell me it's not true… Tell me you're just having me on, please Erwin!"
Erwin looked back just as helplessly.
And then Levi knew and his very soul was torn apart by the agony of a loss like no other, except that he vaguely remembered the feeling from before the veil had somehow hidden it in the darkest corners of his mind. He cried and cried and cried until he couldn't anymore; until he was hoarse and shaking and had no more tears left to cry.
"How are you feeling, Levi?"
"Better. I could almost say I'm fine and not lie about it."
The shrink adjusted his glasses and wrote a few lines on his pad. Levi had been seeing him for therapy about nine months to date, and the patient had come a long way from the broken man who had come into his office once upon a time. He marveled at how much good support systems could actually do, and Levi had it in spades from his family and friends.
"Good, good. And does Eren still visit you?" The doctor looked at Levi carefully, scrutinizing every twitch and tell.
Levi met his gaze head on. "No."
More scribbling.
"I'm very proud of you for how far you've come, Levi," he smiled and capped his pen. "In the first place, it takes a lot of courage to choose this—seeking help—rather than the easy way out like carrying on as you've been before you got your memories back. Your dedication and hard work have made it possible for you to start healing. If this continues, I'm thinking we'll only have a few more follow-up sessions left before I completely let you go. Mind you, that's not for sure, but we'll see how it goes."
Levi just nodded and the session went on.
The elevator dinged and out stepped Levi, making a bee-line to his apartment, keys already on hand. He stopped before his door and took a deep breath before opening it and stepping inside.
And there stood Eren, his piece of heaven on earth.
"You lied."
Levi stepped closer and caressed his lover's face.
"No, I didn't. You don't visit me. You live here."
Eren smiled, but there was a bit of sadness in his eyes.
"I'm not real. You know that."
Sharp gray held seafoam green.
"I'll always choose you. You know that."
Eren sighed and opened his arms invitingly.
"Welcome home."
Levi smiled, true happiness present in his eyes.
"I'm home."
A/N: If you want double the angst, read it again. The oomph comes out best at the second reading. I'm sorry. But sort of not really? XD Tell me what you think, okay?