Letters From James

Summary: Sometimes, plans change. Kogan and Jarlos

I've been bored without internet... so I typed... I hope people like it! :D

Carlos' POV

We had graduated only a week before. Kendall, Logan, James, and I… we had the world out in front of us. We were finished with Big time Rush. That part of our lives was over. Ms. Knight and Katie moved out of 2J and got a different apartment to live in so Katie could continue to go to school here. So we lived on our own. We were adults, ready to hit the ground running. We were about to start our lives.

Then a phone call came.

We knew that once we turned 18, we'd have to sign a paper saying if we got called to war, we'd go. But why'd they have to call James? Why him? Out of the millions of men… why my boyfriend? Why Kendall and Logan's best friend?

On the 8th of June, all our plans… were halted. All our ideas of the future… changed.

James got the call after lunch.

"Hello?" James answered his phone. "Yes this is him… Oh really? You have? Why thank you… it's an honor." James stated. "Yes of course. Thank you. Uh huh. Good bye." He hung up the phone.

"Who was that Jay?" I asked.

"It was… a uhm… marine." He stated.

"So?" Kendall asked.

"I got drafted…" James whispered.

"As in you have to go fight… in the war?" Logan asked.

"Y… yeah…" He nodded slowly.

Tears blurred my vision and blinking just made them fall.

"You have to be joking!" I begged.

"I'm not though…" James stated and let his head fall in his hands. Quiet sobs could be heard coming from him.

"What happens now?" Kendall asked.

He looked up. "They said I'll get a letter telling me everything in a few days." He looked over to me, I was still crying, so he pulled me to him and rocked me in his arms.

I didn't want my boyfriend going and shooting at people.

"You are to pack one weeks worth of clothes and the necessary toiletries. Meet at the downtown LA memorial building on Santa Fe Avenue on July 30th. The bus will then pick you up at 2 o'clock sharp. Don't be late." James read his letter.

"So we only have a little over 2 months left with you?" I asked through my tears.

"I guess so." James sighed.

I looked up at him, and I could tell he didn't want to go. I didn't want him to go either, but he had no choice.

James called his mom and told her everything. She was so upset. But I think I was more upset. I didn't want to lose him… he was my everything.

Sadly July 30th rolled around.

James had packed the night before, so I could spend the morning with him.

"Jay?" I spoke up as we cuddled in bed.

"What baby?" He stroked my cheek.

"I'm gonna miss you…" I whimpered, a tear slid down my cheek.

"Don't cry, I'm only going to basic training for 6 months, then I'll be home for a month, then I'll be shipped off to Iraq." He told me for the 4th time.

"I know…" I paused.

"What's really on your mind?" He asked sitting up. I sat up and looked into his hazel eyes.

"I'm scared shitless that you're going to get shipped off to Iraq and freaking die!" I sobbed. "I don't want you to die… we have so much to still do together!"

"Hey... hey now… shh…" He pulled me into a hug. "I'm going to try my damn hardest to not die." He placed a hand on the back of my head as I nuzzled in between his neck and shoulder. "Then once I come home, we can get married…" He paused as I sat back and looked at him.

"Married?" I asked.

"I want to live the rest of my life with you. And I need to know that once I come home, you'll still be here waiting for me." He reached into the bedside table and pulled out a box. "This… is for you." He opened it and pulled out a silver locket. "I know it's not a ring, but… that'll come later. For now, I want you to wear this. It has our pictures in it."

I held the small locket in my hands.

"I love it… will you put in on me?" I asked.

"Sure baby." He smiled and reached around my neck to clasp the two ends together.

"Thank you Jay… I love it… and I love you." I leaned forward and kissed him.

"I love you to Los." He smiled.

Soon Kendall knocked on the door.

"It's time to leave." He told James.

James stood and gathered his backpack.

"You gonna come watch me off?" He turned to me.

"Of course." I stated.

I knew that I couldn't kiss him goodbye when the bus came. That whole 'Don't ask, Don't tell' policy. So I had to settle with hugs and whispers.

"I love you Carlos. I always will. I'll be home before you know it. Wait for me?" James whispered in my ear as he hugged me.

"I'll wait…" I whispered back. We parted and he hugged Kendall and Logan.

"Bye." James smiled to both of them.

"Bye James…" Logan sniffed.

"Bye." Kendall patted his shoulder.

We stood there for a few seconds then the bus pulled in.

And we watched as James waved to Kendall, Logan and I, then turned and boarded the bus.

Logan wrapped an arm around me. He waved out the window as the bus pulled away.

I looked around and saw the wives, girlfriends, friends, parents, and children of all the men that left. A woman to our right looked over to us.

"Was it your husband?" I asked.

"Yeah. We just got married 4 months ago." She sniffed.

"Oh I'm so sorry." Logan patted her shoulder.

"Who was that guy that was with you?" She asked.

Kendall and Logan both looked over at me.

"My best friend." I told her.

The drive was quiet on the way home. I sat in the back, fiddling with my locket.

Kendall was driving and Logan sat in the passenger seat.

"Carlos, he'll be home before you know it." Kendall spoke up.

"Yeah. He'll come home safe." Logan added.

"Ha. He has to buzz cut his hair." Kendall laughed.

That made me smile, because he would never want to cut his hair.

"Yeah, so it doesn't get caught on anything out in the wild, or else he could get caught." Kendall kept laughing.

"Oh god… he's gonna die!" I screamed out and burst into tears.

"Kendall…" Logan slapped him in the shoulder.

The rest of the way home things were silent.

We got home and it seemed that everyone had to ask if James was really gone.

"Yes he's freaking gone!" I screamed then ran and rode the elevator up to the 2nd floor.

I waited for Kendall and Logan to come up after me, since I didn't have a key.

They unlocked the door, and everything reminded me of James. His favorite mug was sitting on the counter still and he left his jacket on the kitchen table. I grabbed the jacket and went to my room. I opened the door and smelled James' cologne. That's what made me break down. I sat on the bed and hugged his pillow.

It still smelled like him. Cinnamon. I cried for a few minutes before Logan knocked on the door.

"Wanna go down to the pool?" He asked. "You need to get out of this apartment for a while…" He stated.

"Yeah I'll go." I sniffed and wiped my tears away.

We changed then walked down to the pool.

I needed to continue on with my life, even if James was away.

I know nothing of this topic, because thankfully none of my family has had to serve in the war. So pardon me if I got somethings wrong! :D