"Donna…I'm trying here, I'm really trying…"
His voice was low, and cracked in some places.
That surprised him, as he studied the closed off expression on her petite face. His voice hadn't cracked since he'd read at his father's funeral.
It had been two months.
Two, long barren months, since the woman who'd been with him through thick and thin had packed her proverbial bags, filed for the emotional divorce, and moved in with the next door neighbour.
Louis.
His strong jaw clenched as the thoughts of that thieving, mudding, self satisfied ignoramus flew through his consciousness.
Of all the people in the world Donna could have gone to work for, and he knew without doubt that that was a non exhaustive list, she picked Louis Litt.
Before his teeth could undergo any more damage from his now habitual grinding, his building pool of ire was interrupted.
"Is there anything I can help you with, work wise Harvey?" came the cool reply, as she shuffled papers around in her new cubicle, making it clear that the man in front of her was inconveniencing and irritating as that mail man she constantly feuded with.
He closed his deep brown eyes as the familiar feeling of despair washed over him.
She still wasn't giving an inch.
He had wooed, courted, borderline pleaded, and nada.
Nothing.
She had found her calling apparently, her vocation in life…to work, for Louis Goddamned Litt.
"I'm asking for two weeks, that's all. Can't you give me two weeks after twelve damned years?"
The eyes that racked over his face were not kind, though he knew just how kind they could be.
"I gave you twelve years, that's a lot of weeks Harvey."
He groaned to himself.
How could he have forgotten in the space of just two months how much this woman could get under his skin?
With a stab he realised, no other woman had ever gotten under his skin like Donna Paulsen.
And he had all but kicked her out the door.
For the millionth time he mentally kicked himself for his off handed, casual stupidity in telling the beautiful conundrum that was his best friend and love of his life all rolled up in one that he'd always loved her.
Like the way you'd tell a dog you've had for a really long time.
He would do anything to take back those words, coated with their casual flippancy and his crooked non committal smile.
He would do anything to regurgitate those words, to have them coated in sincerity, accompanied by his sincere smile.
The smile his father had dubbed the "Donna" smile.
Guess the old man wasn't as oblivious as he'd thought.
He took a deep breath.
"Donna, please…I'm swamped. I can't get anyone for another month." He gestured to the stack of files under his arm helplessly, "I need you."
She stood up slowly, placing a perfectly manicured hand on each side of her desk, rising with a distinct change in her already aloof demeanour.
He cringed.
Now…now she was pissed.
"Oh" she began quietly, and he instantly caught the barely concealed rage in her tone, "you need me…for your files?"
He balked.
Holding up a hand, he shook his head vigorously, sending brunette locks askew.
"No…no" he stammered, stammered?
He felt a dull flush on his cheeks.
Harvey Specter did not stammer.
Anywhere, anytime or with anyone.
Except this infuriatingly beautiful woman.
"No?" she echoed sarcastically.
"Listen Harvey, I've said all I've needed and intended to say. I work here now, for Louis. I am never coming back to work for you. You and I, we aren't friends. We could have been, I practically begged you. You threw me aside like one of your bar pick up's when I didn't want to trot like the good little work wife in your footsteps anymore. You're afraid of anything real. You always have been. Which is why you're over here now, with files that I know don't belong to you, pretending that you're swamped."
She took a deep, gulping breath.
"I will speak to my girls. I will find you a secretary, a good one. She can start Monday."
He blinked, and took an equal gulping of air.
But his one was much more haggard than her inhalation had been.
He decided then and there, to cut the crap, like she always asked him to, and lay his cards on the table.
Placing the files he'd picked up from a random cart down, he leant in towards her and stared her straight in the eye.
"I don't want a secretary Donna" he croaked, "I want…I want you."
The space between them was filled only with the ringing of phones, and the buzzing of photocopiers as she ran her scorching gaze over every fibre of his being.
The silence seemed to drag on for an eternity, and the six hundred dollar shirt adorning his back was beginning to coat with sweat.
When she opened her mouth, it was like he could almost hear the flesh parting, like his senses were heightened beyond anything he'd ever experienced.
He'd finally told her that he wanted her, her, not Donna the secretary, but Donna…just, Donna."
Her words seemed to drift slowly over the high end mahogany surface, and trickle into his brain with the same speed of a gently dripping, and neglected tap.
"I wanted you Harvey…I wanted you so much it hurt. But now…now, I'm done with hurting, I can't go through it again with you. We had our chance, we had thousands and thousands of chances. We never took them. Maybe…maybe that's a blessing in disguise, maybe we were never meant to be more than boss and secretary, friend and foe. Maybe this is what's meant for us."
He choked on the air resting inoffensively in his lungs, a ringing was beginning to pick up tempo in his ears.
He knew her well enough to know, that this speech…this denial was not something that came from an off the cuff source. She had made her decision, when…he didn't know. Maybe years ago when he'd sailed past her desk with a different woman on his arm every night of the week, or maybe, maybe it was just yesterday.
Maybe he was just twenty four hours late.
The "Donna…" that fell out of his mouth seemed to come from an underwater source, muffled…unclear.
She held up a slim hand, and took a step back.
"Goodbye Harvey."
….
A/N: Just a short drabble on the Darvey separation story line!