Nothing is ever what one wants it to be. Being young and believing yourself to be in love tends to make opinions that much more difficult to hear even if what is being said is the truth. At times like this it is always easier to believe the lie. At times like this, it is a lot harder to handle and accept the truth.

The rain poured as the young woman ran down the street back to her house, crying. She didn't know what to do. All she knew was that she seriously screwed up. Are sharp sting touched her awareness vaguely, but she kept running. Her skin began to tingle but she didn't immediately notice. It wasn't until she reached the front yard of her home that pain consumed her that she even realized something was terribly wrong.

Screaming out in sheer agony, she was vaguely aware of someone screaming her name as her legs gave out darkness slowly began to consume her. She was just barely aware of hands grabbing her before everything suddenly went black.

Destruction be your only goal

For you to vent your jealous wrath

On gentle life with caring soul

And human victims to console:

As you are none, but psychopath.

-Mark R. Slaughter, "Fire Ferocious"

The dinner had been going good. It was just your average get-together, really. Granted it was a Thanksgiving get-together that had been planned by my best friend, Queen Vasilisa Dragomir. Her guest list was huge. She truly out did herself, inviting almost everyone in Court. Of course, there was a small VIP section for her closest and dearest. That list included her half-sister Jill, her boyfriend Christian Ozera, me, my mother, my father, my boyfriend Dimitri Belikov, our friends Mia and Eddie, and my ex-boyfriend. Now I had no issues with this list or who was invited. I had just been worried about how this particular list would pan out.

I'm far from a coward. I'm Rosemarie Hathaway after all. Still, I couldn't shake the last time Adrian Ivashkov and I talked. It hadn't been a very pretty conversation really. Granted the whole thing had been my fault, but that didn't make his words any less memorable or even hurtful. He hadn't spoken to me since that day so I wasn't sure what to expect. I was actually quite surprised that he remained civil for most of dinner. It wasn't until dessert that things went bad.

"Adrian, can you pass me the chocolate sauce?" I asked, grabbing about five of the fried dough balls that Christian made.

Adrian didn't move to do as I asked. He didn't even acknowledge I had spoken. I looked up in time to see him taking a sip of his wine. I glanced around to find that those sitting closest to me had heard me speak and were eyeing Adrian and I with what I would think was trepidation. I tilted my head at him and raised my eyebrow. I really didn't want to make a scene. Though the 'VIP' table was closed off from the other guests, it wasn't completely isolated. It was raised up on dais over looking all the other tables and those guests were pleasantly oblivious to what was going on right in front of them.

"Adrian, the chocolate sauce, please," I said, choking out the please through gritted teeth.

"I'm sure your puppy dog over there would rather do it," he said, not so much as glancing at me.

"What?" I asked, slightly confused.

He looked drunk, but I wasn't sure if that was the only thing that was wrong with him as I watch him glare at Dimitri. I turned my gaze to Dimitri. Our eyes met and I couldn't he wasn't happy with Adrian's behavior. I wasn't happy either, but I was more guilt-ridden than actually upset with him. I just wish I knew what was really wrong with him. I couldn't tell if he hated him, if he was drunk, or if spirit's darkness was getting to him. I didn't doubt all three were entwined somehow, but I wasn't which one of them was the driving force. Luckily, I was saved from pushing as Lissa spoke.

"Adrian, it's Thanksgiving," she whispered. "Can't you be pleasant for one day?"

"Why?" he scoffed. "There's no reason for me to be. I haven't a thing to be thankful for. Not when the one thing that truly made me happy was ripped from me and the reminders are seated at the very same table as me."

"Adrian, they had no intention of hurting you," Christian piped up sounding tired.

Adrian's response came as a rude noise and a derogative string of words that were obviously directed to me. That was when I lost my patience and shot out of my chair and ambled over to him. I vaguely heard someone say my name a few times. Though perhaps it was more than one person, but I wasn't listening. I was just that pissed off. I stopped in front of Adrian and raised my hand to smack him only to be stopped as someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me away. As their arms wrapped around me like a straight jacket, I caught the sent of Dimitri's aftershave and immediately relaxed. Now calming me down probably wouldn't have been so easy if I had still been bound to Lissa, but I no longer carried the darkness. Perhaps I still had some left over but I know longer went into the random crazy phase. I just had a very short temper.

It was only then, however, that I became aware of all the eyes on me. The room was huge and elegant. Sounds echoed easily. So I caught a lot of people's attention when I abruptly left my seat and I begun to get called back. I looked around and sighed in mild disapointment in myself. I hadn't wanted to make a scene when Lissa had worked so hard to put this all together. Lightly pushing Dimitri off me, I turned to Lissa and closed the distance between us, ignoring all the gazes and the fact Adrian was begging for a broken jaw.

"I'm sorry," I said in her ear. "I don't want to ruin tonight so I'm going to go and cool off. I'll see you tonight."

I spun around and walked out. Now, if I had been on duty, I wouldn't have been able to do that. However, Lissa didn't want anyone to be forced to work on Thanksgiving, particularly guardians. She had fought with Hans for a month about it. He refused to leave Court unguarded. In the end, they agreed on volunteering. So two weeks before Thanksgiving a sign up sheet was put up. Lissa wouldn't let me or Dimitri sign it so we were both off and able to enjoy ourselves. It was just too bad that my relaxed mood disintegrated with Adrian's bitter attitude. Scowling at the events and emotions he caused, I made my way outside.

And I got hit by a blast of frigid air as I did so. I should've grabbed a coat. I knew that, but I just wanted to get out of there before I did something extremely stupid. So I began to walk. It was fitting weather really. The sky looked dark and angry and the wind was violent and howling. I wouldn't be surprised if it began to storm. It was probably cold enough for a mock snowfall. You know the type of snow that melted before it even hit the ground. Then again if I was lucky it would snow and perhaps no one would come out to look for me right away and I could get hypothermia. It was much better than thinking about what I would like to do to Adrian.

Sighing, I made my way to this little clearing at the edge of Court. It was a small little abandoned garden that a small alcove. It has a statue of a girl but had enough room behind it for me to fit comfortably. I wasn't worried about anyone seeing me. The garden was so overrun with weeds that no one really ever gave it a second glance. The only things remotely pretty to see were the bushes and trees that hid the alcove from view of the occasional passerby. I wasn't running or hiding, despite the number of jokes Christian had harassed me with. I just came here to give myself a quiet place to think without getting a lecture or something. It also couldn't be considered hiding if someone knew about it.

The first time I came here was after I got into a fight with my mother. It had been the day of the dreaded hunting trip that my parents were using to interrogate and threaten Dimitri. Yes, Abe was adamant about going hunting to do this little father/daughter's boyfriend chatter time. My mother was going with because she had her own set of questions, but I wasn't allowed to come with at all. When I asked why I couldn't, my mother said it was to prevent me from trying to hide the truth if they asked about something I didn't want them to know. I got mad, stormed out and disappeared. I stumbled upon this little alcove by complete accident where I ended up falling asleep. A few hours later, Dimitri found me and carried me off to my room. I woke up in my bed with him sleeping next to me completely unharmed, not that I honestly believed that Abe or my mother would seriously hurt him.

I didn't come here often. It was only when something was bothering me more than I liked and didn't want anyone to see it or try to get involved. Currently I didn't want to here Adrian bitching or Lissa apologizing for his behavior when it should be him. I especially didn't want to deal with Christian's snide remarks. The bastard was a good friend of mine, sure, but it was like having a brother with the sole purpose of giving me hell. These musings managed to calm me down enough for me to become aware of just how cold I was.

"Roza?" Dimitri's voice rang in the air, light. "You forgot a coat again?"

I smiled a little and came out of my little hideaway to find him holding out my jacket with a look of exasperation. I didn't say anything as he came over and draped me in my coat. I didn't say anything immediately. Instead, I just snuggled into him and let the warmth of him engulf me. When I finally opened my mouth to say something, Dimitri's phone rang. I rested my head on his chest and listened as he answered it. At first his tone was light and happy. It changed far to quickly for my liking though, especially since he was speaking in Russian and I couldn't understand what was going on.