Closure

Tag to Season 2 episode …"Ki'ilua"

The episode just seemed to be begging to be longer and the thought wouldn't let me go until I got this out. Please review and let me know what you thought or what improvements there could be. It's been a long time since I wrote a fanfic so I felt a bit rusty.

Steve McGarrett sat bolt upright in bed, sweat coursing down his face and his breath coming in short, ragged gulps. He ran a hand over his face and through his hair as he relived the last few moments of his dream. Dream. Nightmare. Memory he couldn't let go of. The line was very fine and blurring all the time so he wasn't sure what to call it.

He could see Jenna's face as she slid him the metal pin she had just used to unlock her chains. He could hear her voice as she said, "It wasn't for nothing." Then the gunshots and the sound of her body hitting the floor.

Steve quickly stood and threw on a t-shirt. He padded quietly to the window trying not to make the floorboards squeak so as not to disturb Danny asleep downstairs on the couch. He looked out at the moonlit night, pressing his forehead against the cool glass. Movement down by the shore caught his eye. He was reaching for his gun and then stopped as he realized he was seeing Danny sitting in the chair on the beach.

Danny watched as wave after wave gently washed up onto the shore. He would never admit it to Steve, but he might actually find it soothing - some day. For now, he was content to let the sound fill his head and drown out all other thoughts. Well, that was the plan anyway.

He was not at all surprised when Steve was suddenly there, sitting in the other chair inches away from his own. Danny knew Steve hadn't been sleeping well for the past week, ever since they returned from North Korea. Danny hadn't either. Danny would lie awake for hours and would hear Steve tossing and turning and finally arising to pace his room. Tonight he just couldn't bear the thought of listening to his friend struggle through another nightmare and restless night of pacing quietly. When he quietly left the house earlier, he wasn't sure if he was being a coward or not.

"Been out here long?" Steve asked.

Danny lifted his head off the back of the chair to glance at his friend, "Not too long. Couldn't sleep."

"Yeah."

The two men lapsed into silence and watched the dark waters wash onto the shore. Danny finally broke the silence a few minutes later, "She saved my life and then she betrayed you. But she's the one that let us know for sure you were in trouble. She called me and managed to tell us a town so we could start looking for you." Danny paused and shook his head. "But when I saw her, all I could think of was that she saved my life and I wasn't in time to save hers."

"It's not your fault, Danny." Steve gazed out at the water, "If anything it..."

"Don't," Danny snapped. "You don't get to blame yourself either. This is entirely on Wo Fat."

Steve nodded grimly, "He used her. Used her love for her fiance and the hope that she could save him."

Danny nodded and then dropped his head into his hands, "Thing is... I think I understand. I don't want to." Danny said, almost too quietly for Steve to hear. "God, I don't want to, but I think I understand her reasoning. What she went through."

Steve shifted and put his hand on his friend's shoulder, "Hey. You didn't betray me. You couldn't betray me. I know this."

Danny lifted his eyes to meet Steve's, "If it were Grace..." he shook his head and couldn't continue.

Steve squeezed his shoulder, "You still couldn't betray me because I would willingly do whatever I needed to do to get you back to her. No questions asked."

Danny swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. "Jenna didn't deserve that. Any of it. The hope of getting her fiance back and then having that ripped away, being used by Wo Fat and certainly not getting shot."

Steve sighed, "I know. I watched him shoot her and couldn't do a thing. Not a damn thing." Steve stood up and started pacing. He suddenly stopped and turned to Danny again, "She redeemed herself in the end. I couldn't get past my hurt of her betrayal, and then he shot her. I never got to tell her that I understood. That I forgave her."

Danny stood and grabbed his friend's arm to stop him from pacing again. "I bet she knew."

Steve shook his head, "I don't know, Danny."

Danny let go of his arm and waved it around, "She knew. You probably gave her a Look."

Steve raised his eyebrow and allowed himself a half smile, "What Look would that be, exactly?"

"It was probably the 'I Understand Why You Betrayed me, and I Forgive You Because I'm Really Just a Teddy Bear Underneath my Super Seal Armor' Look."

"Oh, that one." Steve deadpanned.

Danny flopped down into his seat again and stared out at the ocean. Despite their jokes with each other, he was still somber.

Steve sat also and waited a few minutes before breaking the silence again, "What?"

"What, 'what?'" Danny didn't look over.

"You, 'what'. There's something else eating at you. Since we're having our little counseling session, don't you think you ought to share everything?"

"Actually, it's you." Danny turned to face his partner. "You haven't said much about what happened out there," he waved vaguely in the direction of North Korea. "Judging by the state we found you in, I know you were tortured," Danny held up a hand as Steve opened his mouth. "I don't need to know details unless you need to talk about it. I was worried about you. I wasn't sure if we'd get you out of there alive. Hell, I didn't know if we'd even find you at all."

"I know, Danny, I'm sorry." Steve shook his head. "You shouldn't have come after me. I'm glad you did, but you shouldn't have done it because of Grace."

"You know, I thought of that, but I just couldn't not try. I left a quick note in case I didn't make it back, but I knew I could never live with myself if I didn't try. Besides, for some reason, Grace is fond of you and it would hurt her, too, if you didn't come back."

"When I saw you lift that tarp on the truck, I couldn't believe it." Steve gulped. "After Wo Fat captured me, I kept hearing your voice in my head telling me I was an idiot for going in without backup. Deep down, I think I was hoping you would show up, but logically I knew you wouldn't. After all, this was North Korea so when I saw you there, I couldn't process it right away. It seemed right that you were all there and had my back but I couldn't believe it."

"I'll always have your back, partner." Danny leaned back once again in the chair. "So remember that next time you go off all commando."

Steve smiled, "Thanks, partner."

The two men sat in relaxed silence, their inner demons from the past week finally quiet, watching the ocean as the sun slowly started to add color to the sky.

Any and all reviews appreciated. It's been ten years since I posted a fanfic so we'll see if I still have the touch or not.