AN: Hello, welcome to an altered version of Bella's pregnancy journey.
As a heads up, I am a femslash shipper so this will not be a Bella/Edward fic. I have an idea of which Twilight girl I want to eventually pair her with but I will leave it to the story how it ends up (if I even get that far).
Also, I am not sure yet what I will be posting beyond the first couple chapters. I am going to be writing these as I get inspiration. The only thing I do know is that they will all be short. I'm talking around 1,000 something words each chapter, maybe less and maybe more depending.
This is because I am mostly doing this to get back into writing. I took a long break to focus more on school work, internships and a job; though I did try to write every once in a while. [as evident in the constant editing of my other stories multiple times throughout the year.] This is one of the things I managed to spit out in that time. And so I decided to not fuss about chapter length or solid story lines and just put it out there.
Basically, it'll be kind of similar to what I've done with through the flames as it seems I am forever doomed to having stray thoughts and not fully planned out stories.
Anyways, hope you all enjoy while it lasts.
.:.
Two weeks have passed since I lost my virginity to Edward.
It had been the start of our honeymoon. He hadn't wanted to go through with it but I had managed to convince him. It was our first night alone as a married couple, after all, and it was expected of us to consummate our marriage. That had been all I needed to say to get him to fall into bed with me.
And we did.
But it was far from what I'd expected.
I had known from the moment he asked me to marry him that I would end up 'dying' a virgin if I left it up to him, and that was not something I wanted for myself. He might be proud of keeping his own purity but the only reason for my own were his concerns of possibly hurting me.
So finally getting him to stop avoiding the topic of sex felt like such an accomplishment to me then.
Our whole relationship, he had always refrained from going any further than chaste kissing and some cuddling. And even knowing he was only scared of hurting me with his strength, I felt the sting of rejection every time he pulled away from me.
But he wasn't going to pull away that night.
No, I knew I would finally get what I wanted, and I had been high with anticipation the entire ride to the island because of it.
We had arrived mid afternoon at a beautiful single-story house with see-through glass making up a good portion of the walls. It was like the ideal vacation home version of the Cullen's place in Forks, decorated with light wood and glamorous furnishing. Within an hour of arriving, our luggage had been unpacked and put away, and then Edward had whisked me away on a beautiful tour.
And I had fallen in love with it.
Where the Cullen's home in Forks was surrounded by large, trimmed trees all around, this house was surrounded by a sandy beach that faded out into the thicket of wild, untamed woods. There'd been a feeling of peace in the nature permitting the whole area, the stray sounds of small creatures and crashing waves all there was to be heard on the small, vacant island.
I hadn't thought I would love it as much as I did when I'd first learnt of the Cullen's private island; but I had.
I'd taken a shower as soon as we returned to the house while he'd been off apparently preparing a five-course meal for me, or at least what passed for one outside a restaurant. There were lit candles all along the table and flowers centered in the middle of the outside venue. It had been the perfect precursor to a night of love.
I'd eaten with the sweetest of butterflies nestled in my stomach, heart slowly pulsing in tune with nature's song. I had not felt that calm and relaxed in a while, and I'd thought it meant only great things for the night ahead.
But it turned out to be the calm before a rather overly complicated storm of a first time.
He had left me to read in the beautifully decorated den as he went off to hunt in preparation. We'd both wanted him to be fully sated before we attempted making love. Better to be safe than sorry, and all that. Neither of us could have known his doing so would only exacerbate things as his instincts flared to life after the recent feeding.
It was like I'd made love to a wild cat in humanoid form. I still had marks from his possessive grip on me.
At first, he had been careful and gentle, undressing me with eyes full of his love for me. I had undressed him in kind and we'd fallen to the bed in a tangle of limbs, trading soft kisses back and forth and exploring naked skin with curious hands.
And then he seemed to inhale deeply as he moved down to kiss my neck and things went sideways from there.
When he next made eye contact with me, the only thing I could distinguish within his gaze was desire, a primal sort of desire that burned into me. I don't remember much of the night after that. Things had gotten hazy as my adrenaline had spiked and a strange mix of desire and fear had swirled within me as he took my virginity in one thrust and drove into me all night.
I'm not sure when exactly he'd taken that first push into me. I only remember the stinging ache that came with my loss and how it had faded to pained pleasure at some point, my rapidly beating heart pounding in my ears all the while, overpowering my screams and his growled grunts.
I'd awoken to a destroyed bedroom and an empty bed the following morning.
My body had been tangled inside the sheets as though I'd been carefully wrapped in them. The canopy that had once framed the bed no longer hung above it but had rather laid strewn with holes on the floor beside the bed. And then I'd realized the sheets that'd been on the bed the night before were also torn beside it and the one I was holding to my chest as I looked around was a fresh one from the closet.
It had been a shocking image to wake to alone.
Later, after I'd showered off the dried sweat and such I was covered in, I spent a while cleaning it all up. The marks that littered my body were a bright, stinging red then, and I counted seven distinct ones before I had pushed aside thoughts of it. By the time he'd returned with nothing but a light kiss upon my head and a question of what I wanted for breakfast, it was almost like the night before had never happened.
And he took that and ran with it.
That day, he had asked me what I wanted to do for the next two weeks and knowing he did not want to talk about it, I'd diligently spouted out some of the activities I'd been told about. From then on, he had reverted back to avoiding the subject of sex and keeping our interactions as innocent as possible.
But it'd been different then, I hadn't minded it because I was engaging in the avoidance too.
It just hadn't been the night I'd thought it would be. I had desired that level of physical affection with him from the moment I realized I loved him, yet when the moment finally came, it did not live up to the images I'd pictured. And so I did not want to bring it up for fear of uncovering anything more about the night, the parts I can't recall.
Our honeymoon is over now though. We made it through the two weeks by immersing ourselves in all the fun the island had to offer, doing things I can carry in happy memory.
It was worth that night just to experience diving in clear waters and hiking to high mountaintops.
And maybe, once I've been turned into a vampire and can experience things on his level, we can try it again.
With a sigh as the last of my musings leave my mind, I get up from the bed and start the long process of packing. The mess that has accumulated in the house in the time we've been here is actually pretty impressive but it'll be a pain to clear up. Reaching out, I pick up a shirt I'd thrown onto the vanity table at some point, adding it to the growing pile by my opened luggage, and come to a stop as I see my tampons laying underneath.
The same tampons I bought right before leaving Forks in anticipation of my period coming in the following days. The same ones I have yet to touch since we arrived a little over two weeks ago. The ones from the same brand I last used over a month ago.
And my first thought at seeing them is that I've had a regular cycle since I first got it.
The only time it'd been irregular was the months of depression I'd lapsed into following the Cullens sudden leave from Forks. And it had gone right back to a regular monthly cycle right after. I have never been more than two days late on my period and it has now been 11 days past the date I should have gotten it.
At that moment, as all those thoughts cycle through my mind, three things become clear.
One: I'm late, way past due.
Two: I'm no longer a virgin who has nothing to worry about.
And as I feel something shift in my suddenly nauseous stomach, the final one hits me hard: I'm pregnant.
.:.
AN: So... thoughts? I think this is my first time ever doing first person and it feels like I write too formally for that.