Hello everyone! I'd like to introduce you to the beginning of my new fanfiction. I originally intended on posting it on the 6th of June since it's a special date and it's also the day I intended Murdoc to die. Not that I want him to die on his birthday, I just think it would be fitting since he was born on the 6th of the 6th 1966, bless his soul. But this is just an intro chapter to get the ball rolling and I'll make sure I post the next chapter on that day. You know what, I really shouldn't be writing fanfiction. I have so much work to do it's not funny. Does anyone want to write my analysis of constructions of gender and sexuality within romance literature for me? Anyone? No? dust? No, dust? Anyone, dust?

I should warn you peeps that this story probably will have a 2D/Murdoc pairing. But whyyyyy? You ask? Well, you'll find out why it's necessary. If I'm not slack and actually write this story all the way through. Boo yah!

I do not own Gorillaz…yet.

Enjoy!

Hell Bends Backwards

Chapter 1

A Grave Mistake

Murdoc sat in a cramped windowless office with his boot clad feet resting upon the desk before him, effectively scattering the meticulously arranged documents that had sat there. He sniffed loudly as he let his gaze draw across the religious posters that plastered the walls. He always found these spiritual people to be unbearably pompous. He eventually turned his attention back towards the angel sitting across from him who was eying him off warily.

"I do deeply regret your passing away." Murdoc noted the insincerity in his voice. "But I suppose death must go on mustn't it?" The angle chuckled to himself but quickly extinguished the laugh with a cough when the unsavory man at the opposite end of the desk failed to join in on the joke.

"Listen mate, I'd like to get this over and done with if you don't mind?'

"Er… right." The angel pushed his glassed back up his nose and leafed through the documents in his hand. His eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline when he read the name of the man before him. He had to take his glasses off and polish them with his shirt before he took another look. This guy had really let himself go.

"You don't mind if I smoke do you?"

"Well actually…" the angel began, eyeing the non smoking sign that was clearly displayed on the front of his desk.

"That," Murdoc pulled a cigarette from his front pocket and lit it with one flick of the lighter "was a rhetorical question

"My goodness me, I do apologize. I wasn't aware of whom I was speaking to." How bowed his head as a sign of respect still not quite believing who he was dealing with. But then again, the documents sent down from head office had never been wrong before, had they?

"So you're saying you'll treat any poor bastard with contempt unless he has an ounce of fame to his name?"

"Er, uh… well you see…"Stuttered the angel wiping away the sheen of sweat that had accumulated on his brow.

"Sa'll right mate" Chuckled Murdoc as he crossed his arms, "So would I."

The angel was struck dumb; he'd never dealt with such maleficent character of this stature before. He decided that it would be best to ask the mandatory questions as quickly as possible so that this man could be handled by the higher authorities.

"So er, I see you have quite a reputation with Vatican." He looked over his glasses daring to give a challenging stare.

Murdoc leaned back in his chair and rested his hands behind his head, he grinned exposing a set of jagged yellow teeth. After the life that he'd lived you would expect some notoriety. "Hmm, I guess I have haven't I? Wasn't easy though, I couldn't tell you the amount of virgins I had to go through."

"Uh huh…" He swallowed and pushed on. "It says here that you've inspired countless millions across the world…"

"Have I now?" He scratched his unshaven chin as he reflected on his wicked deeds. He growled in delight as he remembered a few particularly devious ones. "I s'ppose that just goes with the game y'know. You can't be great unless you have several million people unquestionably worshiping you."

"I suppose…" He rubbed the ink of the paper he was holding just to make sure that the name on it was perfectly correct. If this really was the person the documents said he was than he was than he was a monkey's uncle. Thank you Darwin. "I'm looking at your sin records. I must say, they really are outstanding." Truth be told the angel had no idea why his sin tally was so low considering the man had committed at least five since being in this room.

"Outstanding ay? Well I do try." He chortled with the lungs of a chain smoker.

"Yes well, if everything here is correct" The angel gave Murdoc a surreptitious glance, "then you'll be going to one of the highest levels we can offer."

Murdoc rubbed his hands together in delight. He knew he had dedicated his entire life to sin and debauchery and spared no effort in condemning himself. But the highest level of hell! Well you don't sign your soul away to Satan expecting second best do you? He couldn't wait to get out of this assigning room and rest for eternity in the depths of hell. He was sure he'd gained himself a prime piece of real estate.

The angel shuffled the documents and placed them back its folder. He looked at the name one last time and heaved an almighty sigh. He knew something was up, but he also knew it wasn't his job to question it. As he pinched the bridge of his nose and squinted his eyes shut he began to regret flunking seraph school. Maybe if he hadn't he wouldn't have been forced to become a lowly soul coordinator. Who knows, maybe he could have been a gatekeeper like that goody two shoes St. Peter. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and turned his attention back to his malodorous client. "Alright well it looks like it's time to send you off."

"It's about bloody time!" Murdoc stood up, brushed off his pants and extinguished his cigarette on the polished mahogany desk causing the angel's eye to twitch.

"Ahem, if you just stand in the corner over there I can switch the designation beam on"

Murdoc sauntered over to the corner which had a large silver 'X' marked on the ground. Finally he would be where he belonged. He used this time to reflect on the life he had lived. Nothing but sex, drinking rock and roll, gluttony and sloth. He couldn't have asked for anything more fulfilling.

"Please keep your arms and legs inside the beam at all times, you may feel some slight indescribable agony."

Murdoc rolled his eyes at the regurgitated safety procedure that he was certain the angel must have said a thousand times before. He tapped his foot impatiently and crossed his arms. The angel seemed to get the message because he stopped talking and walked towards the large red lever that was sticking out of the ground.

"I hope you enjoy your trip father John Paul. God bless you." He pulled the lever.

"Wait! What did you call me? I'm not the po…." But it was too late. Murdoc was surrounded by a blinding light as he watched his surroundings evaporate before him. Jesus Christ he thought as he was hurtled towards an unexpected eternity in paradise.

Jesus fucking Christ