Title: Dante and Trish; the Divine Comedy alternative.

Disclaimer: DMC is Capcom territory. Why they allow us to write about their characters, I don't know, because some abuse it immorally and some just write because they love the characters.

Dante sat reading a newspaper, his legs propped up casually atop his desk and Trish happened to have come home with a bag of groceries. He was intent on his reading that Trish was curious as to what he was reading.

"Anything happening on the other side of the world, like say the long war? Someone found an invention to cure HIV?"

She then proceeded to plop all the groceries atop the kitchen counter when he didn't answer, then a few moments later, he grunted: "You know, Trish, they have this new book called, "The Mysteries of Divine Comedy Code."

She raised a blonde brow up so high that it nearly reached the edge of her hairline.

Then laughed; a tinkling high note that was unusual for her as she usually had a very husky low voice with an equally huskier laugh.

"What is this? Someone trying to find a new method to get the goods? Another Da Vinci code copy but this time it's Divine Comedy?"

He looked up at his partner: "You know about the Divine Comedy?"

"Of course! When there wasn't any devil hunting around and we're starving to death, I had to go work for food!"

Dante gaped at her and choked out: "Trish! You didn't?"

She gritted her teeth. "What the hell did you think I worked for?" She had her hand on her leather hip.

He rolled his eye back and forth shiftily and coughed out: "Whore for hire?"

Trish threw him an apple and he caught it as easily as it was thrown.

He thanked her and took a bite out of it.

While munching, he proceeded to ask her about the Divine Comedy and Trish huffed; she couldn't believe that he didn't even take the time to read about something as grand as that.

"So how come you got to read it?"

"Well, when I worked extra jobs, one of the ones I worked for was at a fundraiser and they were giving away old books. The kind that that Arkham guy likes to keep."

Dante flinched. Trish was informed about all the big happenings in his life and that bit with Arkham, his brother opening up the gates, and meeting Lady was one of the biggest events that happened to him.

Trish took a big knife and began to slice onions, one by one, in small pieces they were, until she took them up in a great big swoop and plopped them into a pan. Turning on the stove, she watched as the blue fire flickered to heat up the onions.

Dante waited.

While he waited, he took to reading the newspaper until he was clearly done and then the smell of cooked beef and vegetables began to assault his nostrils.

"That smells delicious."

"Yes, it's for me." Trish stirred the sliced beef and mixed the spices that she had just splattered on there.

"I'm tired of Pizza." Dante was pouting.

"I'll finish up the cooked potatoes and then we'll talk about the famous book written by Dante Alighieri."

His face was beaming now.

She began to set the table; candles were set there and two clean plates with utensils.

"Where did you learn to cook?" His face was now curious and he got up from his chair. He thought it was about time to get his butt off his chair and stop dirtying up his desk with caked muddy boots.

The setting of the table was simple but efficient.

Just like a Martha Stewart she was. Trish sat down on the table and waved her hand to the dishes which were now covered but the steam seeped out, allowing the wondrous smells of food to waft towards the half devil.

Dipping into the food, Dante ate up and took big mouthfuls of vegetables into his mouth. The most he ate of vegetables were the broccoli bits in the pizza and once Trish ordered vegetarian pizza.

Trish had two glasses of white wine there and then picked one up and smacked her lips after downing two gulps.

"Now….we shall proceed with my story of Divine Comedy but bear this in mind, Dante. It's a shortened version and my own interpretation."

He was still chomping at the food. Trish had made so much food that he was very happy.

"Once upon a time, there lived a man named Dante Alighieri."

She then took another gulp of white wine. Luckily she had the full bottle there and if that was gone, she'd have to get out the whiskey that Dante stashed away.

"Does he look like me?" Dante kept chomping, his mouth full of potatoes and crunchy beans.

"Not really. But get this; he was in love with a girl named Beatrice, after me."

"Did she look like his mother?"

"Fortunately, no. Unless one's mother looked like a nine year old child."

"Go on Trish. You're dragging this story out. Can you just cut to the chase?"

"She eventually died and married another man. So did he."

He raised an eyebrow, "He's gay?"

"No, twatbrain, I meant that he married another woman too, but he was in love with Beatrice. It was unrequited."

"Well if she doesn't look like his mother and he loved her with desire, then why doesn't he just go for it."

"Are you for real?" Trish smirked.

"Just kidding. I know. Probably the woman was forcing him to marry him right? With kids?"

"No. Not really. It was an arranged marriage though he sired many children with the woman."

"Sounds like he had some fun."

"Don't you get it? It's like us; we're unrequited love."

"But you look like my mother. Ewwww."

Dante made a face and she wanted to smack him one.

"There's nothing wrong with looking like your mother since she's very beautiful!"

"Ah you are calling yourself beautiful too!"

They were enjoying their little chat together. It was nice to get a big break from the monotony of life; the way human beings wanted to be saved from the terrors of the world.

Meaning that if it weren't for him and Trish, and perhaps the others just like them, they wouldn't be able to save the world.

Trish finished up her bottle of wine and ate half her food then continued on with her story: "Dante looked up to this man called Virgil, a great poet from the past. He's dead, long dead, deader than Beatrice."

"Why did he look up to him?"

"Because Virgil taught about some stuff called the Aenid. I haven't read it so I can't say anything about it. When I get around to it, I'll read it."

"You're dragging, Trish."

"To get to the point, Beatrice guided him through hell, or rather out of hell, and Virgil was his first guide."

"Wow. So they're just guides?"

"Yes, they're his guides. Just like you and me: Partners."

He rubbed his belly, now full of vegetables, onions, potatoes, beans and sliced marinated beef.

"What about Arkham and Lady, and oh, Lucia and Matier?"

"Only Lucia was your next guide, but she's more like a saint in the story."

"Lucia? You mean, our Lucia? The Lucia we know and love?" Dante raised his white brow in question.

"No. She didn't live back then."

"So there wasn't any Matier guide? Or even Lady?"

"Lady after her first name: Mary, is mentioned."

"As what?"Dante was getting curiouser and curiouser now, even though he'd rather go out and visit Enzo's bar and have some beers and play pool and darts but he figured Trish was enjoying this storytelling.

"She gave birth to some child in the story and the father is a God."

"That must have been painful."

Dante was making a joke out of this, Trish knew and she threw him a piece of potato that was lying on her plate.

"Are you gonna finish that?" He eyed her unfinished meal. She told him to knock himself out and he did.

"There were lots of demons in the Divine Comedy."

"Sounds like my kind of story, Trish. Are they any challenge?"

"Oh more than a challenge. They were all vanquished to hell."

"Vanquish….now that's a word."

"And what is the purpose of this story?"

She was pouring him a glass of beer and he was pleased. He didn't have to go to Enzo's bar after all. There was a pool table right here in their home and a jukebox and all the benefits of what a bar might offer. Except for the women. He did have Trish, but if the man's woman looked exactly like their mother, it was really a huge kink.

He didn't mind. He liked Trish a lot and liked that she wore her sunglasses a lot too.

"How did you like hell, Trish?" It was a question he wanted to ask her for a long time.

"I was created there. Everything before was a blur, I don't know anything else."

When I finally saw the blue skies, the clouds, and the fresh air as we're flying through the summer sky, I knew…..that I finally came home.

Dante reached over to touch her hand.

"You are home, Trish."

"Beatrice never remained with Dante in the end you know."

Her eyes washed over with tears.

"Now look at what you've done." She took the napkin and started to dab her eyes.

Dante sighed. He didn't do anything but women will be women.

"Well it's not easy for a dead person to remain with a live person unless that live person has a kink for necrophilia."

"It wasn't that kind of a relationship, Dante. Alighieri loved her, but not in the lustful way some men look at me."

"In the book, Beatrice helped free Alighieri from his hell but here, between you and me, you freed me."

"It's a reversal then?" Dante was getting bored now. He was eyeing the pool table and his devils arms.

She saw the boredom in his eyes and smiled. "Go on. Go and play some pool and I'll wash up."

He jumped off the chair and ran over to her side and gave her a kiss. "You're the best, Trish. Dinner was great. Come play pool with me when you're done?"

The blonde haired woman groaned. She wished there was a magical way that dishes would just clean itself. Dante bought her a dishwasher when they had some extra money, but the darn thing was second hand and therefore it broke down at times.

After washing up, she sat down on the couch and relaxed with a cup of evening coffee and watched Dante tune up his guitar. He loved his guitars and was immensely sad that she had to sell his favorite one: the Nevan. It got for a good price though, better than what she expected, although she liked the Cerberus one the best. They were the cutest puppies but they sure wet themselves a lot.

Trish heard the phone and hurriedly picked it up and answered: Devil Never Cry.

She looked over at Dante. "This ones got the password. Sounds heavy!"

Dante grinned and grabbed his rebellion from the old girlie poster he had for many years.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!"

A good meal. A good story. Good companionship and now possibly a good fight. What more can a half devil want? Yes, he knew. It was to get more devils arms.