Sam's fingers traced soft circles on the skin of her legs as she lay curled up on the floor of her room. Sam's bedroom carpet felt starchy and stung her nose with the smell of dirt and neglect. She let her hair fall in a thick curtain over her eyes and face. Despite the blank stare, Sam's mind was swirling and threatening to burst right out of her skull, splattering the walls with the colors her thoughts painted inside her head. Sam's phone buzzed on the floor next to her fingers. She pulled back her hair and peaked at the screen that pierced the darkness with light.
Text from: "Carls"
Sam pushed the phone a few inches away from her and continued to trace the soft circles on her skin. The phone buzzed with another text from Carly. The vibrations died away and were replaced by the heavy metal ringtone that echoed around the dark room, pulsing through Sam's eardrums painfully. Sam pulled the phone toward her body and pressed the green button to answer.
"Sam? Sam are you there? I just want to talk." Carly's frantic voice immediately spilled from the speaker. Sam didn't answer right away and was debating if she should answer at all. Why should she answer? Did Carly really deserve to know what was going on? Did she actually care?
"Carly." Sam breathed into the receiver. Her voice cracked and sounded scratchy. Carly laughed anxiously on the other end.
"Sam you need to listen to me, I-"
"Why did you do it?" Sam croaked, fighting back sobs that wanted so badly to tear from her lungs.
"Sam I thought…I thought you knew what was going on." Carly said sympathetically. Sam could hear her tapping her fingernails on the wooden countertop.
"You saw me…You saw me kissing him." Sam cried quietly, "Why would you go after him when you knew…You knew how I felt." Tears rolled down Sam's cheeks and soaked into the filthy carpet. She curled into a tighter ball and hugged her knees to her chin.
"I saw the kiss, Sam. He didn't kiss you back. I was a witness and I know you felt it too." Carly said bitterly.
"I just thought that I could-"
"You could what Sam? You thought that Freddie would drop everything he's worked for and run into your arms? It's always been me Sam. It's never been you."
Sam was silent. Her shivering fingers hovered over the red button. She lightly touched the screen and the line immediately went dead. At first, Sam felt angry and hateful. What did Carly know anyway? But the anger turned icy within seconds. Carly knew a lot and she was right. Freddie didn't kiss her back. His lips were stiff and tense until Sam had finally let go. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Sam was so sure that it would never be her. She tried to shut that part of her brain away but it would always come back stronger and louder. It was like a cancer that slowly ate away at the inter fabric of her mind. Sam shuddered and put a light finger on her throbbing forehead. Her phone lit up the room again and the ringtone sent painful vibrations into her eardrum.
But it wasn't Carly this time.
Incoming Call From: "Freddork"
Sam didn't hesitate to answer the phone. She heard two voices arguing on the other end.
"You better explain to her that I'M the one you want, not her." Carly was saying harshly.
"She probably won't even answer the phone." Freddie argued.
"Just get it through her thick skull that she's not good enough for you and she should just accept the fact that you don't love her." Carly snapped.
"Oh no." Freddie sucked in his breath, "Sam…"
"There's really no need Freddie." Sam said through chattering teeth, "I understand completely."
"No Sam! Wait! You really don't understand!"
"No, I get it." Sam whispered quietly. She picked up her phone and hurled it against the wall. It shattered and fell to the floor in seven different pieces. Sam walked to the hall closet and opened the door. Thunder crashed outside and lightning flared through the grimy windows. Sam dug through some old newspapers and gift bags until her fingers brushed against the coarse, rigid rope that was hidden in the corner. Sam wrapped the rope around her hand and walked over to her second-story window. Rain was falling in sheets and running off the chipped roof tiles. Sam was soaked within minutes as she climbed onto the rooftop. She crouched next the flag pole and tied the stiff rope into a tight knot around the base of the horizontal pole. Sam could hear her home phone nearly blowing up inside.
She ignored it and sat on the edge of the roof. Thunder clapped and lightning flashed in bolts around her. Sam fastened the rope into a noose and slipped it around her tender neck. The tight rope cut into her skin and made blood drip down her shoulders.
"Carly…Freddie…" Sam mumbled, "I want you to move on without me. Don't waste another second bothering with me." Sam stepped up to the edge of the roof and swayed dangerously. She let the rain splatter against her burning face and raw arms. The cold water was so sweet and gently. Sam let herself tip forward and over the edge.
The air whipped Sam hair for as she fell from the roof with the rope cutting into her flesh. It was soothing as she knew sweet release was coming for her. A smile crept onto Sam's cracked lips.
As thunder cracked across the sky, the rope snagged and Sam was dead.
All this took place long ago, in a neighborhood that is no more. But some days, when you stand outside in the light spring rain, you can hear the faint laughter of a girl clashing in with the thunder and lightning that dance in the dark afternoon sky.