Rachel's been worried about me lately. Truth is, I don't blame her. I've been acting weird in the last week and everyone can see it. They blame the football player that slammed me into the ground at Friday's game. I play along with it, blaming him as well. But that's not the truth. Truth be told, I had a dream.
I woke up in my room, feeling someone next to me. But I couldn't see who it was, my blanket was covering her. I pulled back the covers and that when I saw her. Santana. She was laying with her head on my chest, her arm draped across me. She was sleeping peacefully. You would think I would freak out since 1). I'm dating Rachel and 2). Santana and I do not like each other. But I didn't. I was calm and happy. She woke up after a few seconds, sitting up and leaning into me.
"Morning." She said in a tired voice, placing a small kiss on my cheek.
"I love you." I replied to her.
"I love you too." She whispered.
And then I woke up.
The dream has been replaying itself in my mind for the the entire week. Every time I close my eyes I see her face, smiling lightly up at me. Me telling her I love her. Her saying it back. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it up. Whenever I pass her in the hall or she says something in Glee, I get all nervous and jumpy. I know everyone can see it.
What I don't understand is why I dreamt that. She's nothing but mean to me. Just a month ago she said my nipples were like puffy pyramids. And now I'm dreaming that we're in love with each other. Maybe it's the milk Kurt gives me before bed. It's probably making me all wonky in my sleep.
The dream isn't even the worst part though. I find myself listening for her voice in the halls. Singling out her voice in all the group numbers, making me forget my own parts and almost hit whoever is standing next to me while dancing. I want to be near her, but any time I look at her, I get all nervous and my palms get sweaty. Whenever she says something to me, I get all tongue tied.
I'm not sure if she knows or not. She seems to just think I'm being my 'normal idiot self.' But I'm not sure how much longer she'll think that.
It's the five minute break between fourth period and fifth, I'm standing at my locker, pretending to be looking for my history book, but really I'm keeping an eye on her locker, waiting for her to come to get her own history book out. That's when I hear her voice.
"Stop it." She commands, I turn slowly to her a little nervous and scared.
"Stop what?" I pretend to know know what she is talking about but I sound unconvincing.
"You're little creepy stalker act. If you're bored with Man-Hands and want some real lovin, just say it. I don't like games, Finnocence."
I'm actually surprised by that. She seems to think the weird, nervous, jittery feeling I get around her is because I just want sex. This might just work out for the best. Maybe that's it. Maybe it's because I wish I could go back and re-do my first time. Maybe once I get her out of my system everything will be ok.
So, I say, "Can we have sex again?"
She smirks and nods her head. "Text me when you have your house all to yourself."