No Safer Place

Author's Note: Originally published on September 7, 2010

It should be a beautiful summer afternoon, but the sun doesn't seem as bright these days. There's an eerie and unsettling silence in the air, instead of our shouts of laughter and the good-natured taunting of the Quidditch match that we might be playing in our garden.

I tightened my grip on the shirt in my hand, the dull ache of constant worry causing my throat to tighten. I hated the feeling that lingered in my belly, the sick fear which bubbled up constantly. I couldn't help it. The three of them were out there, somewhere. I was afraid for them all, especially the boy who had my heart.

The worst part was the not knowing. They could be captured, hurt, or dead. After the chaos of the wedding and the fearful hours that had followed, it had become clear that at any moment I could lose someone I loved.

I shuddered at that thought, but refused to believe it.

A quiet knock sounded out against my bedroom door, one which I didn't feel a need to acknowledge, hoping that whoever it was would just leave me alone. The squeak of the aged door handle shattered that thought quickly, as did the shuffle of approaching feet.

"Ginny," my mum said softly, "Bill and Fleur are leaving soon."

I nodded in silence and continued to stare out my window, trying my best to compose myself. I didn't want anyone to know how frightened I truly was.

My mattress shifted as my mother's weight settled down next to me. When she didn't say anything, I turned my head and noticed her staring intently at the piece of clothing in my hand. My cheeks warmed up as her eyes turned to mine.

"Harry's shirt?" she asked, her eyebrow raised quizzically.

"Yes."

"The two of you did seem rather close at the funeral."

I paused momentarily, while coming to the decision to just tell her.

"We were together, finally, for the last few weeks of school. He ended it at the funeral, even though we were so happy being with each other. He was scared of putting me in harm's way, the great sodding git."

Mum chuckled, barely audible. The joyful sound seemed foreign in the oppressing gloom.

"I can't blame him for that, Ginny. Did you think about how difficult that must have been for him, to give up something that made him happy? The poor boy hasn't had much of that in his life."

"I know, mum, that's what's so frustrating. We're in danger regardless, aren't we?"

A paralyzing thought screamed in my head, a realization becoming clear.

"What if he broke it off because he wasn't planning on returning? Mum, what if..."

In the blink of an eye I found myself wrapped in my mother's arms, unable to keep the tears at bay. I finally let loose everything I'd been holding back—the pain of giving up Harry, the fear of something happening to my family, especially Harry, Ron and Hermione, and the inescapable sense of dread that would not go away.

She held me like she did when I was young, and spoke soothing words in my ear, telling me that everything would be alright, that we would get through this. That we needed to be strong for the ones we loved.

I lifted my head, my sudden flood of emotion slowing. As her thumb brushed my cheek, gathering a drop of moisture, I was shocked to feel how cold her finger was.

My mum's hands were always warm and welcoming. I examined her face closely as she gave me a tired smile. I could see the lines of worry across her face, and it made me realize just how much she had to fear. One son was gone, loyal to his friends but in more danger than any other member of the family. Another was estranged, at a Ministry which had fallen into corruption. Her husband and all of her children were involved in the war, and she could do little to protect them.

It made me appreciate her strength, and her conviction to fight for everything good, even though it could cost her dearly. I felt such an overwhelming respect and love for her at that moment.

"How do you do it, mum? I feel so... helpless and scared, and I hate it."

"Ginny, dear, I'm terrified. Your father and brothers are out there, but I can't let myself give in to my fears. I simply cannot do that. In these desperate times, we must stand up and fight to preserve our families and our way of life. We can find such strength when those we love are threatened. I'd fight the darkest of evil to protect you and your brothers."

A certain look of fierceness passed across her face, one which I'd never seen before. It showed a determination and power I never thought of when it came to my mum. This was a different side of her, a complete opposite to her usual mothering ways. I knew she would hold true, and that I could count on her to help me get through the toughest times.

I surprised her by hugging her tightly, relishing the feeling of her hands gently rubbing my back. I felt so much better, and I saw my mother in a different light, as someone who was tough in the face of adversity, protective, and loving. If we made it past all this, I would strive to become more like my mum.

Despite the fear and terror of the outside world, I knew of one place I could always go for support.

I knew there was no safer place than in my mother's arms.