AN: Sorry this took so long to get up-I've been having problems posting.*sigh* Doesn't that feel better, now? I told you I'd been building up to something (for anyone who randomly stumbled into this story; I'm referring to the finale of the previous story, After The End). This will be picking up immediately after the closing lines of Always Slowly. Read and review, as always, and tell me if you like!

Disclaimer: All characters (w/exceptions) belong to UPN, Mutant Enemy, and the all-powerful Joss

Real

            Everything else faded away, and all that was left was her. He blinked, feeling her in his arms. Her face against his. Her soft breath, tickling his skin. Every bit of her.

            She tried to speak, tried to ask him how? But no words came out. Her mouth sat slightly agape, with no words to fill it. She lifted one of her arms from his neck, bringing it around to run her palm along his cheek. She closed her eyes. Leather and cigarette smoke filled her senses like a strong musk. Spike.

            "Spike?"

            Slowly, he tore his gaze from Buffy's astonished face. Dawn wore the crazy grin only she could possess upon seeing one of her friends whom she'd thought to be dead. Reluctantly, he loosened his grip on Buffy to give the teenager a well-deserved hug. Over her shoulder, he still watched Buffy. She stared at him, as if she was seeing a ghost.

            "How?" She whispered, sounding for the entire world like a small child. He reached out to her, gently. She stepped closer, nestling herself against his chest.

 He couldn't contain his smile as he held the girls. "Bit of a long story, love."

"Come inside." Dawn grabbed one of his hands, leading the group slowly back up the driveway.

They followed her, never averting their eyes from one another. She was scared of looking away, sure that if she did he would disappear. His eyes are bluer that I remember. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.

They sat down in the living room, content with the silence that surrounded them. Buffy broke their stare, turning to Dawn. "It's late."

Dawn nodded slowly.

"You should…probably….go to bed." She sighed, feeling him sitting beside her.

Dawn frowned, looking over at Spike desperately.

"'S alright, pet," he murmured. "I'm not going anywhere."

She smiled, casting a suspicious glance at her sister before going up the stairs.

Buffy let her breath out slowly. She turned back around to Spike, confused. Reaching out delicately, she let her fingers run slowly over his face. He smiled. "You're dead."

His smile broadened. "Not like that's anything new." His forehead wrinkled with concern as the tears she'd been holding in so long streamed down her cheeks. "Buffy?"

She looked up at him. Laughing nervously, she whipped the tears away hurriedly. "You can't just show up here, Spike."

His face fell. Swallowing hard, he wrung his hands. "I know." He jerked with surprise as her lips caressed his.

Buffy smiled a little as she drew back again. "Should have called first."

"My apologies," he snarked as she wound her fingers in his. He brushed some hair out of her face absent-mindedly.

She caught his other hand in hers, fear reflecting in her eyes. "Your real, right?" She bit her tongue. "I don't think I could stand such a horrible dream."

He raised an eyebrow, scooting closer to her. "I'm real." Squeezing her hand, he ran his thumb over the back of her hand. "Promise."

She smiled. Standing, she led him down the hall. "We have a spare bedroom over here."

"Oh." Spike gulped, trying to hide his disappointment. "Right then. So I'll be seeing you in the morning."

She turned around, frowning. "No." They walked into the bedroom, Buffy closing the door behind them. She sat down on the edge of the bed. "Come here."

He happily obliged, sitting beside her. They stared at each other for a few minutes, just basking. Slowly, she crawled up and under the covers. Unsure of what to do, he watched her.

"Come on," She whispered, reaching out towards him. Kicking off his boots and laying his duster on the bedpost, he slid under the covers with her. She spooned up against him.

He shivered as he felt her silent tears sink through his shirt onto his chest. Wrapping his arms around her, he ran his fingers through her hair. "Don't worry, love. 'm not leaving," he whispered. He kissed her hair gently. "I'm never leaving."

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            The sun streamed in the open window, casting a shadow on Buffy's face. Slowly, she opened her eyes. She smiled as she felt the arm slung protectively over her waist. Real. She looked over at the window again, gasping. Jumping out of bed, she ran to close the blinds.

            "Buffy?" Spike mumbled sleepily, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

            She paused at the window, looking back at him. The sunlight danced in his confused eyes.

            "What?"

            She looked back and forth between the window and the vampire. "Huh?"

            Spike grinned. He beckoned her back over to the bed. "Forgot to mention that, did I?"

            She ran her fingers through his mussed curls, standing in front of him. "You aren't poofing."

            "Nope." He caught her wrists in his hands, pulling her down closer to him so he could look into her eyes. God Buffy, do you even know how much I missed you?

            "How." She sat down next to him, tucking her legs up underneath her slim frame.

            "How am I not poofing?"

            "How are you here." Buffy cocked her head, trying to memorize every curve of his face. "I thought you were gone."

            "I was." Inside, he debated with himself. Does this count as part of the stuff I'm not supposed to tell her? No, he rationalized, I only can't tell her the specific reason why I came back. "Old Spike went to that bright place in the sky."

            Her eyes widened as she absorbed this information. "You were in…"

            He smiled sadly at her. "Yeah." He winced as she turned away slightly.

            "Why did you come back?"

            "You." It was out before he could even process the question. Well, at least I didn't elaborate.

            She glanced at him with a look about her he couldn't distinguish. Disgust? Sympathy? "Spike…"        

            "No." He stood up, standing ironically enough right in front of the window. "I didn't come back here for your pity, Buffy. I chose this." He smiled involuntarily. "I'd rather be here, with you. And don't go brushing it off like you always do because-" He smirked. "-darn it all, I was starting to believe what you said in the cave."

            After all this time, you never even knew? She shook with the blindest pain and range imaginable. He seemed to notice, for he took another step back. "Starting?" Shocked at the waver in her voice, she continued. "You thought I didn't mean it."

            He flinched as he realized his words had scalded her. "No, pet. I knew, even if you didn't."

            Buffy scowled, not understanding what he meant. "What is that supposed to even mean?"

            He approached her so they were less than an inch from touching. Dropping to his knees, he tried to draw her out from the deep crevice of her mind she had retreated to. "I was starting to believe that you knew you loved me." He smiled again, ignoring how she jerked away as his fingers brushed her cheek. "But even before that, I knew. You certainly didn't hate me that last night, did you?"

            Slowly, she lifted her line of vision to cross with his. "No," she whispered, mostly to herself. I loved you. I loved you so much I thought I'd die. So why can't I just tell you that? "I…-"

            Knock knock knock

            "Bloody hell," Spike muttered, as he looked over his shoulder in the general direction of the front door.

            Sighing, Buffy stood up and walked out of the room. She walked over to the door, pulling it open when she saw Willow and Kennedy in the window. "Hey."

            "Oh, hi." Willow waved as they stepped inside. "We just got back. Paradise isn't as much of a Paradise as we thought."

            "What did you run into?" Buffy crossed her arms, looking back and forth between the two.

            Kennedy shrugged. "Vamps, mostly. Chased a demon around for awhile, but he got away."

            Spike stepped into the doorframe, leaning against it while watching their company. 'Ello there, Red. He smirked.

            "Did you get a good look at him?" Buffy started walking towards the bookshelf.

            "I…" Willow's eyes grew wide as she noticed someone standing in the far bedroom. He was standing in the shadows, so she could only make out the general shape of him. "Buffy…."

            "Hmm?" She turned back around.

            Willow cocked her head. "There's someone in the bedroom."

            Kennedy peered around her to get a look into the bedroom.

            "'Hey there, girlies."

            Willow let out a small shriek at the British voice, jumping. Then she blinked a few times, in disbelief. "Spike?" It was hard to recognize him-instead of his trademark duster and bleach blond hair he had a thick sweater and overgrown, unkept brown curls. Still, it was Spike.

            He smiled a little, stepping out into the shadow in the living room. Old habits die hard, I guess. He let himself relish in the fact that Buffy subconsciously stepped closer to him before turning his eyes back to Willow and Kennedy. "Long time."

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Come on. It's my first chapter. You know I'll cry if you don't review it. :)