Red is the color of anger. Red is the color of hurt. Red is the color of blood, red is the color of blood trickling down skin.
Yellow is the color of weakness. Yellow is the color of confusion. Yellow is the color of fading bruises.
I have never known anything but the pain in life, the jealousy, the confusion, the desperate want.
I am nothing.
I do not deserve kindness.
I do not deserve freedom.
I do not deserve love.
I want to be something.
I want generosity.
I want freedom.
I want will.
I want love.
I want an escape.
I do not have an escape.
I do not have family.
I do not have any of this.
I have satin gowns.
I have a pretty face.
I have a set script.
I have tea.
I have a petty life.
I have no friends.
I have a charming "personality".
I have a family that overshadows everyone.
I have an emotionless face.
I have the life of a china doll.
I have sad eyes masked by makeup.
I have nothing worth living for.
I want more.
My name is Miranda Goyle, and I am lonely, and I am mad.
-Miranda Goyle, 1976, year six
Miranda Goyle sat in her dorm in the Gryffindor tower. She was surrounded by laughter and gossip from the girls who sat on the beds around her. But she did not join in, she couldn't. She yearned to talk and laugh with them, but alas it was not to be. She absentmindedly sat there tracing an old scar, feeling the raised pale skin with her long and thin fingers.
Miranda, feeling uncomfortable, grabbed her sketch book and pencils, and quietly left the room; cringing at the loud noises from the common room she tried her best to leave the rambunctious common room without being noticed. Not that anyone took notice to Miranda, after second year every Gryffindor viewed her as the snooty pureblood that thought she was better than everyone. The only Gryffindor's that seemed to actually notice her were the tormentors, the ones who tried to make her already lifeless life even more hellish.
Miranda headed for the safety of the kitchens, already her mouth watered for the gooeyness of a warm brownie, and the warmth of a cup of coffee.
She sat down in a plush armchair by a fire in the kitchens, already surrounded by a herd of house elves.
"What can Winky get for the mistress?" a small house elf asked.
"A brownie and a cup of coffee would be super, winky, thank you very much." Miranda said with a small smile.
"Of course, anything for you!" Winky said with a much wider smile than Miranda had on her pale face.
Miranda went back to her sketching as the elves happily prepared her snack.
"I'm going to make a kitchen run, would anyone care to join?" Sirius Black asked his group of friends, making sure that the group of girls that obsessed over him didn't hear.
"No." the three others replied in almost unison.
"Well then. You three sit here without your great leader and mourn the loss of the great Sirius Black." The other three just shook their heads and laughed at sixteen year olds childish antics. Sirius dramatically leapt off the couch, like any attention lover would, and stomped out of common room muttering about useless friends and how he needed new ones.
Sirius arrived at the kitchens with record speed, without the distraction of his friends or pretty girls; there was nothing to slow him down. Tickling the pair and hearing the lilting giggle, Sirius Black chuckled whole-heartedly at the juvenile ways of Hogwarts. He entered the kitchens and was immediately attacked by the squeaking little elves he had come to love.
"Could I have a glass of pumpkin juice and a piece of coffee cake, please?" The elves nodded and left to fulfill his order. Sirius sat down at the counter and looked around the room, searching for something to occupy his short attention span.
Spotting Miranda Goyle with his stormy grey eyes, he found exactly what he was looking for. Quietly taking out his wand, he almost jinxed the living day lights out of her. But something stopped him, something he didn't understand where it came from.
Sirius Black noticed for the first time, how pretty Miranda was, and how serene she looked. Her dark straight locks falling in front of face like a dark curtain, only her pale nose peaked out. Sirius Black faltered. Sirius Black, for the first time, felt bad, he actually felt something for someone he thought he hated.
No one had a real reason to hate Miranda Goyle, she didn't talk to the Gryffindors but then again she didn't really talk to anyone. Sure she sometimes conversed with Slytherins, but then again so did Sirius, even if it was only arguments. People just assumed she thought she was better than them, with her ramrod straight posture, and how she walked with her nose in the air but Sirius knew; that's just how a pureblood is raised. Maybe she was just shy, maybe she was afraid to speak to people, maybe her parents didn't let her speak as a child, maybe she was scared.
Sirius didn't know what had happened, ten minutes ago he had hated Miranda Goyle, and he had been one of her frequent tormentors. What on earth had happened?
Miranda looked up, feeling a pair of eyes on the back of her head, she saw none other than her biggest oppressor staring creepily at her. Afraid of what he would do to her this time, she shoved her things into her bag and fled the room, not even bothering to clean her mess.
She was afraid of the sounds and laughter of her dorm, so she did what any other lonely teenager would do, she found the most secluded part of the castle and sat there and cried. She didn't even bother with trying not to crumple her drawings; right now even the comfort of a pencil and paper wouldn't help her.
Sirius was startled when Goyle looked up, and even more startled when she fled the room, with wide fearful eyes and a trembling lip. To say the least, Sirius was confused by both himself and the twig-like girl. His silver-grey eyes followed her thin body as she fled away from him, but if he hadn't Sirius would never have seen her sketch book fall out of canvas messenger bag. And if it weren't for that we wouldn't have story now would we?
Sirius looked around for Miranda before he opened the thick, worn booklet. What he saw surprised the young teen, and made him think and ponder the young pureblooded girl.
Sirius may be able to list a page of Miranda's flaws, but he could not say one word about the girl's drawing skills. Every single sketch was beautiful yet frighteningly haunting. Some were sad and even made him sad, pictures of dying flowers, and chains and cages littered the pages. Some were mad, angry looking dark jagged lines made pictures of vultures circling prey, and taunting people surrounding Miranda. Some were longing, drawings of birds, and clouds, and even feet running on soft grass. But the drawing that stuck with Sirius Black the most was something he was not expecting.
It was drawing of Lily Evens, Marlene Mckinnon, Alice Lewett, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, and himself. They sat in a circle laughing merrily at something someone had said, a small bottle of Veritaserum sat on the ground and it was obvious the group was playing truth or dare, Sirius remembered that evening like it was yesterday, it was such a fun day. But what scared Sirius the most was what was next to his group of friends and his evening of merriment. There was Miranda reaching her hand and arm out desperately at the group, tears in her eyes and a look of desperate want and longing on her face. Behind her was a group of death eaters and purebloods pointing their wands at her. A swarm of chains and ropes jumped out of their wands and hooked onto Miranda with very painful sharp looking grips.
Haunted by the frightening drawing, Sirius turned the page quickly but on the back there a page of writing, (the writing from the beginning of chapter). The page was littered with ink splotches from what looked like to be when she broke her quill, and tear stains. It made Sirius' heart go out for the girl. And for what seemed like the first time Sirius Black seemed lost in a sea of confusion, and it had nothing to do with his own life. But the one thing he did know was that he was going to help Miranda.
He was going to fix Miranda Goyle's broken life.