Prequel of A Half-Second Dream. Follow Fuji's early days till he befriend with Saeki and Katsu. Also his first meeting with some people that he would meet again in his years at Seigaku.
Of course, you don't have to read A Half-Second Dream first to understand this. It could be read alone. Although if you curious to know what happen then when this story end, you are more than welcome to read it.
Disclamer : Disclamer : Tennis No Ohjisama belongs Konomi Takeshi-sensei.
Words in /….: someone's thoughts
Words in Italic : flashback
The Early Days
Chapter 1 : Tiny Joy, Tearless Grief
For Fuji Shuusuke, life would be much easier if he could forget. Yet that ability was a foreign for him. He had so many things that made people associated the word 'blessed' with him. For him, it was more like a curse.
He remembered everything. Everything he saw when he opened his eyes for the first time. He even remembered the music that his mother had played for him since he was still in her womb.
People have wondered how he could know such a thing. His Neesan was so surprised when he recognized the nurse that took care of him when he was in the ICU and thanked her for her kindness. Shuusuke was just two years old that time for his general check up. The nurse just laughed kindly and said she didn't know that his parents still recognized her and told him to thank her.
The problem was they didn't. At that time, they were too busy and worry for the premature baby that they didn't think about anything else except for the baby. That was the first time they knew about Shuusuke's photographic memory, which was not the same with any photographic memory cases that they knew.
Little Shuusuke wished he never had it. Of course, it was a joy to know how much his parents loved him. How grateful they were that he could survive. He remembered all the wishes that they have on him though he preferred to not remember. Then he wouldn't hurt that badly later. The doctor's diagnosis was like a dead punishment for him. He remembered all the crying, how his parents fought hard for him till finally they chose to give up.
If only he could forget… The first two months of his life may be the happiest moment for him. The moment when his parents only looked at him and loved him sincerely. Because of that, the changes after that were really unbearable for him. He wished he never had those two months so he wouldn't longing for something that he knew he would never had again.
As the times passed, he was still alive. But more skilled were revealed. There were times that Shuusuke wished he could go back through times to change them. He would choose to close his mouth at the grocery store even though his mother had bought him that awful baby food. At least she wouldn't look at him like he was some kind of a monster.
He would pretend not to recognize the kind nurse that took care of him when he was putted at the ICU after his premature born. So his parents wouldn't realize that he remembered everything since he was born. Then they wouldn't put the guarded acted every time they were near him.
He wouldn't play the notes on their piano for Yuuta, even though his otouto was so enthusiasm that he could played the lion's roar, the dog's bark, the cat's meow and a lot more with the piano. So no one would know that he had the absolute pitch, an ability to hear any sound as notes.
He wouldn't tell his mother at that evening when all the family ate the pecan pie from Yamada's Bakery about what was the secret addition they used that made no one could ever made the pecan pie as delicious as the ones they made. So they wouldn't know that he had a sensitive tongue.
But he could never be able to change that. So Shuusuke accepted everything as the result of his own stupidity.
Sometimes Shuusuke wondered about how his mind had worked. In his childish imagination, he imaged that his brain was a very wide place where there were a lot of cabinets. The knowledge and experiences he had was placed in alphabets tidily. Every time he needed something, a chibi Shuusuke went to the right cabinet and pull the data he needed.
He collected everything. Every sounds and pictures that he had encountered was collected there. With time, all the sound and pictures that didn't make sense before were revealed. Like pieces of puzzle that finally be completed. And that was the time for his endless grief.
Shuusuke knew he was different. He didn't like any babies who cried non stop. He was always be the silent one. He just loved to observe. He watched all the meaningless sounds and pictures interestedly. He slept little days after days when he finally understood words, because he replayed everything that ever happen to him in his mind. It took him years later to master the ability to do some things in the same time. For example, he could keep talking to his friends while his mind was wandering elsewhere.
---
Shuusuke remembered the rush at the operation room when the doctors had tried so hard to keep him alive. He was born premature. At that time, he was so thin and fragile. He couldn't even breathe. After a hard struggle they could save his life.
He was put at in the incubator at the ICU with the life-support machine attached on him. There're people in white dresses that came to observe him. Shuusuke was curious about what they wanted from him. He kept looking back at them and observed them in return.
There was a nice woman in her early forty. She always had been nice to him. She told him to be strong and hold on. She putted her hands at the tiny holes that connected with the gloves then let him hold her finger while she gently ran her fingers on his head and cheek.
Shuusuke felt save with her. The doctors came to examine him. They shook their heads sadly while they dropped his hell. Yet the woman didn't give up. Even when his parents' visits became rarer.
"You would hold on, right, Little One? You would beat them all." Her voice gently soothed him.
Shuusuke cried for the first time when finally his parents came to take him home. In the little things that he knew, somehow he felt that he would never see her again.
---
After the shopping incident, a lot of people came here and then to the Fuji's house. Friends, family, and even neighbors. Shuusuke was afraid. They hungry eyes looked like they wanted to eat him alive. They talked with sickly sweet words yet they eyes told the opposite. Okaasan had asked him to greet him. He softly greeted them, half hidden behind Neesan. His Neesan didn't understand why her otouto was so tensed, but she hugged him protectively.
They asked so many things to him. Some made him thought awhile before he answered them. Those people praised him so high yet he felt more terrified with each passing minutes. He looked at his mother for protectiveness but he couldn't say anything. His mother was smiling but her smile was tight. And her eyes… She seems like she was afraid. It took him months to realize that she was afraid of him.
It was days later when his mother took him and Neesan that they had over heard the neighbors talked.
"Yes, that Fuji's little boy is surely a prodigy. He could understand what we said. He could answered our questions even though his vocabulary is still not much. At least we could understand what he wanted to say."
"That's right. I can't believe that a boy that not even reaches two years old could talk that good. My son was three years old when he knew vocabulary that much. And he couldn't even understand what I said fully."
"But isn't it frightening? It isn't normal for kids to be able to do that at that age right?"
"You're right. We couldn't know what run in the mind of a child like that. Even though Fuji's son is a prodigy, I'm grateful that my daughter is normal."
His mother didn't say anything, but her grip on his hand became tighter that it was hurting him. The bruise was clearly forming. Yet he didn't say anything. He was so afraid to the growns up. And his parents… Did they think of him as some a monster like those people?
He looked pleadedly to her to soothe him. To tell him that everything was all right. Yet he didn't find his comfort. Her mother silently refused to look at him nor that she said anything to him. Shuusuke never felt so alone.
One thing for sure, since that day his mother never let him played outside. She said he was so adore that she wanted to keep him just for her. She said she loved him yet she never looked straight at him. But he felt the truth was she felt ashamed of him. That's why she couldn't let anyone saw him.
---
On his general check up, little Shuusuke was very pleased to see the nurse that had took care of him when he was in the ICU. He walked to her with his unstable steps. She glanced and smiled to the little boy.
"Nomura-san, thank you for your kindness." He spoke with broken words.
She was surprised since she didn't recognize him. A glance to his family refreshed her memory. She kneeled and gently ruffled his hair.
"Ah, it was my pleasure. You such a lovely child you know? So your family told you about me ne? That's very sweet of them."
She hugged him tightly while she whispered to him.
"I'm glad I was right. You're a fighter. You would never give up right? My brave Little One."
She nodded her head to his family and waved him goodbye. There was a long silence before finally his mother broke it.
"Dear, how do you know it was her?"
"I remember." His innocence answer made her stiffed.
Shuusuke looked questionably to his Neesan. Her expression told him that he had made a mistake. He just didn't know what his mistake was. But he recognized his mother's eyes that were the same as the way those people looked at him.
---
Shuusuke hated Yuuta. He was the main source for his suffering. Yuuta was the ideal son that his parents always wanted. What his parents had imagined about how to take care of a baby, how to teach him to talk and to walk, and everything could be practiced with Yuuta.
At first Shuusuke never knew about the difference they parents had treated them. But his photographic memory soon made him noticed the differences. He always looked at them when they were took care or playing with Yuuta. How happy they face were when they with him.
They never showed that expression when they were with him. They always put that guarded expression when he was around. He wished it was him that brought that smile on their faces. Yet it wasn't. They even felt disturbed for the way he stared at them.
His mother had asked him about what he wanted once. Yuuta was caught a fever and his mother was very busy to take care of her younger one. She caught him stared at them.
"Shuusuke, is there something that you want?"
He couldn't say anything. There were a lot that he wanted to say yet his voice refused to cooperate with him.
/"Why do you never look at me like that, Okaasan?''/
"Shuusuke?"
/"Why do you never smile like that when you look at me?''/
"Shuusuke?"
/"Onegai, love me also, Okaasan."/
At the end it was him that turned away and ran.
---
"I can't take it! Why did he keep looking at me like that? Like he was judging me had treated him unfair!"
"Please calm down, dear. It's just your imagination. Shuusuke is just a little boy." He gently soothed his wife.
"It wasn't just my imagination! He kept stared at me. He kept looking at whatever I do! Why didn't he say anything...? Just looked at me silently with wide eyes. I couldn't understand what is running in his mind. A not so sweet child!"
Outside their bedroom, Yumiko couldn't move. She couldn't come to ask their parents to take them to the zoo like she wanted to do before. Shuusuke stood silently. He pulled his hand from his neesan grip then walked to their room with his unstable steps.
---
Shuusuke was hurted. He couldn't understand why his parents couldn't love him. Why his own parents look at him like he was some kind of a monster. He felt hands reached him from behind. He laid to that embrace with tears streaking from his eyes.
"Sst, Shuusuke. Men don't cry." His Neesan's soft voice soothed him.
"I'm not man yet." He mumbled between his silent sobs.
"Boys don't cry too. Because boys must protect their love ones too."
Shuusuke thought of her words with a sniff here and there. Then he felt a tug on his hand. He looked down and saw it was Yuuta that had crawled to him. His otouto was so pleased to himself that he could crawl that far. He looked hopefully to them to praise him.
Mixed feelings ran inside Shuusuke. Here was the little creature that became the source of his unhappiness. He wanted to shrug his hand off. But those big eyes looked hopefully to him. Yuuta smiled so sweetly. His eyes and smile told Shuusuke that his otouto was very pleased to be with him.
His eyes and smile were so sincere. There weren't fake like the ones that the grown ups gave him. And something inside Shuusuke was melt with that smile. He kneeled and hugged his otouto tightly.
"You're glad to be with me, Yuuta? You're not feel scare at me?"
His otouto made a sound of glee while he was returning the hug. He said incoherent words while giggling happily. That was the moment Shuusuke made a vow to protect the only one that didn't look at him like he was some kind of monster.
Surely he knew that his Neesan loved him too. That she treated him like he was a normal child. But the experiences in the past made it harder to trust adults. Surely she couldn't be said as an adult. But she was older and on her way to step to the adult world. Shuusuke was waiting in fear when would be the time that she joined the adults and hated him.
---
Shuusuke laid at his favourite hidden place at the roof. His father had brought some toys for them. He said his thank you softly and went silently to his room. Yuuta was very happy. His enthusiasm made their parents laughed. So he left to give them some privacy.
"Oniichan."
He was startled. He glanced and saw his otouto tried to pull himself up to the roof. He rushed to his brother side.
"Yuuta! You shouldn't go up here. It's dangerous!"
"But you are here!" Yuuta argued, still determined to go up there.
Shuusuke didn't have a choice than to pull him up and made him sat at the safety distance. Even after that, he held his brother's arm tightly.
"Otousan and Okaasan would be mad if they find out you were here, Yuuta." He said quietly.
"Then we would be very quiet." Yuuta whispered solemnly.
"Still you shouldn't be here, Yuuta. It's dangerous. You could felt."
"No, I won't. Oniichan wouldn't let me fall." Yuuta smiled confidently.
Shuusuke smiled gently. Yuuta looked around curiously.
"What are you doing here, Oniichan? You always love to go here."
"Aah, I was watching the sky."
"The sky?" Yuuta looked up curiously. "Do you love the sky, Oniichan?"
"I wish I could be the sky." He said wistfully.
True to be told, Shuusuke always wanted to be the sky. The sky that was so high above. Then he wouldn't annoy anyone anymore. If only he could be the sky…
Shuusuke was startled when Yuuta hugged him tightly.
"Nonono. I don't want Oniichan to be the sky. I don't want Oniichan to leave me!" His otouto wailed.
"Ssst, don't cry, Yuuta. I could never be able to be sky. You don't have worry. It's just a thought."
Yuuta was calmed down. Then he looked at the sky again.
"You really do love the sky, ne Oniichan? Which one do you like? The day sky or the night sky?"
"Saa, I must say that I love the night sky better."
/"That's why I could sorta like disappear."/
"I like the day sky better." Yuuta said suddenly.
"Oh? Why?"
"Because the day sky looks like your eyes."
He was speechless. Yuuta smiled proudly to himself.
---
"Dear, your Otousan and I had discuss this." She said gently.
He listened to what she wanted to say. Even so, he could saw that she avoided looking straight at him. He felt a pang in his heart.
"We knew that you must be very boring to be in the house all the time. You have a great curiousity that couldn't be satisfy here. There're so much you want to know and we knew that we couldn't provide that. So we agree to let you go to school. The school would be started two months from now. It's the same school that your Neesan has goes. Aren't you happy, Dear?"
Her smile felt so fake. The same school with his Neesan. Only that she would be graduated in one month and went to Junior High. He would be all alone. He didn't think that would be any fifth years old children there. Not that he had any friends his age before. Or any friends at all.
"We're so proud of you, Shuusuke." His Otousan ruffled his hair.
He tried to smile. But deep inside he felt so afraid. At that time he didn't know that he had every right to be afraid about the matter.
---
Tsuzuku…
The first chapter is kinda boring ne? I also got confused to set the time line. Fuji was only two years old when he was met the nurse again. He hated Yuuta till he was three years old. Then Yuuta became his most important person.
The sky talk happened when Fuji almost fifth years old. That's why Yuuta could already talk that much. I hope I didn't make a mistake here. I did a little research to the young parents that I knew about when were they babies first steps, first word, then when they could finally chatter a lot (even the words still not all coherent).
Yuuta called Fuji Oniichan in this story. He switched his called to Aniki in his last years at Elementary. The first chapters would be full of angst. Cause Fuji's happiness only started when he befriend with Saeki and Katsu. Of course everyone who read A Half-Second Dream knew that the happiness only last awhile. I think I'm torture Fuji a lot ne?
So please tell me. Should I continue? Or maybe I should just forget about it. >
Otousan : father
Okaasan : mother
Neesan : older sister
Onegai : please
Otouto : little brother
Oniichan : older brother