Chapter 1:

I just sat there. It felt like hours, and hours, but it was just maybe fifteen minutes before she texted me back.

...do u think I care edward?

My heart sunk. Into the bottom of my body, to be exact. I didn't know how I could reply or what I could even say. It felt like I just got my heart ripped open. Well I think physically getting my heart ripped open would feel better than how I feel now.

I loved her..I still do. How could she do this to me? I've given her everything I have; everything I could ever give to her, I gave. All of my being was devoted to her, and now she just wants to throw it all away. This isn't something I'd ever want to put on anyone else.

I didn't know to say...

Please...don't do this to me..I love you so much, you know that.

Pathetic. That's what I am.

yes I know ed..i need to think about myself for a change. this is gonna b good for me dont u want that for me?

Wait, was she trying to give me the guilt trip? Seriously? She was breaking up with me, after two hard years of love and she was trying to make me feel even worse? I didn't even know what to do. I couldn't believe anything- I didn't want to believe anything.

I needed to see what Emmett thought. Maybe I need to go to therapy to get over this. Or maybe I should go to the bar. I remember when she took me to a bar for my first time..and what happened whe n we went back home.

Flashback-

I stumbled through the door, thinking about how funny the bartender was. He made me happy because I loved him. He called me silly! I love being silly.

"Edward...you are so wasted!" She chuckled. I like it when she chuckles. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

"I like it when you chuckle!" I told her the truth too! I do love when she chuckles. "I like you! I-I..I love you!" I stuttered. I actually told her! Yay!

It was a long time until she said anything back...It made me feel nervous.

"Babe?" I said, expecting an, "I love you too". But I didn't hear one. Instead, she just kissed me. It was a nice kiss. A kiss that is kissy and fun!

I didn't really remember anything that happened after that..although I was totally hammered, I do remember that much.

RING

RING

I looked at my phone...

Incoming Call From

Alice

RI-

"Hello?" I answered, trying to regain myself.

"Hey Ed! Where ya at?" She replied, trying to sound peppy, but there was nervousness in her voice.

"I'm at home. Why?" I said, trying to hold myself together.

"Oh, can I come over?"

I paused. Alice never usually...asked to come over- she normally just came over.

"Y-yeah..why?" I stuttered.

"I need to talk to you."

This was weird, because Alice never needed to talk in person unless it was something serious.

"Yeah come on over."

Click

And she hung up.

I sat quietly on my chair, pondering why she'd need to talk to me in person. I didn't even have my ex on my mind anymore, I knew the deep sorrow and depressing thoughts would sink in soon, but not now. I knew that I needed to get over it, I just wanted to prolong it as much as I could.

There she was, right in front of me. Alice, my baby sister. Ugg boots with skinny jeans and a Hollister coat- expensive taste if I do say so myself. I never realized how big she was getting until now...Seventeen? Already? Damn, I'm old.

I stood up, slowly. "Yes, what is it Alice?"

Her eye's started tearing up and she rushed into me, deep into my arms. It almost hurt a little.

"Alice? What's wrong?" I said, worried now.

"Jasper...he..he left me." She stuttered.

Wow. I knew they were in love, but Alice never cried. Ever..and when she did, it was never about a guy. No matter how deep in love with them she'd be. She just never cried..as simple as that. Now I wanted to know what that bastard did to her that was so horrible, it made her cry. I swear I'd kill him. He didn't deserve anyone from my family, let alone to hurt them. Jasper was a cool guy, he really was. Country, strong, smart, and definitely knew how to play baseball. However, forget all that if he hurt anyone I care about. Family before dickheads.

"I swear to Voltaire I'll fucking kill him. Tell me what he did, seriously Alice, I'll do anything, just tell me what he did to hurt you." I tried to sound tough obviously..I tried to comfort her, and humor her with the 'Voltaire' line. She always laughed when I said that, but her face was still sobbing, and wet. Not even a smirk. Something was seriously wrong...I began to realize.

She always got over things quickly, that is, things that hurt her...

"Alice what's going on.." I asked, nervous now.

There was a long pause..and a couple more sobs.

"Edward..."

"Yes, Alice?"

Another long pause. Then she looked up at me, and it was like she was staring deep into my soul. She grabbed my arms and sat me down, as if the news was so horrible I would break away to run or something...would I?

"Edward..Jasper left me for someone else." She said silently, looking deep into my soul once again.

Now I was starting to get confused..It seemed as if, Jasper leaving her wasn't the problem - who Jasper left her for, was.

I swallowed the last of the saliva that was slowly producing in my mouth, as she continued to stare deep into my eyes.

"Who." was all I could spit out. My throat seriously dried up now- I could feel sand particles forming. I thought I knew the answer to the question. I don't know why I even asked- I think I just needed to hear it for myself.

"Edward, he left me for Katie."

And there it was. The depressed thoughts, the sadness, the sorrow, the deep pit I didn't want to fall into...I was falling. I was slowly falling, and it felt like there were a thousand little razors on the wall, and every so often I would bump into that fucking wall of this deep endless hole, and I watched every slow tiny cut, slice my skin open. Thousands of cuts all over me...wasn't even a fraction of the pain I felt right now. My beautiful, loving, funny and optimistic baby just left me...for reasons that sounded like thousands of soft mumbles that made no sense- but now I realize. My life is not like a movie, not like a happily ever after that I've always wanted, like the little fucking girl I felt like, sitting there on that couch, next to the real girl...crying my eyes out. Crying my eyes out for my love, who left me for...another man. Another man, who was dating my little sister. A nineteen year old prick, is now with my beautiful twenty year old goddess- and she really was a goddess, I swear. Beautiful blond hair that just brushed the beginning of her shoulders. Her thin, beautiful body, that I loved caressing, with all my heart. I never loved anything more than her, and she was now gone. Gone with a nineteen year old country boy...total opposite of me. How could that ever happen? It didn't even seem like anything was wrong...and right out of the blue, she basically slipped out of my fingers.

"Edward" Alice spoke softly.

I couldn't even hear myself respond. "Yes?"

I put my head into my hands, embarassed, and totally humiliated.

"That's not all."