This is my first Songfiction, so be gentle. It took me a sleepless night to do it and in the morning my boyfriend and his Beta-Reader tendensies made me do it all over again, and mind you, I liked this result better. I hope you enjoy too, once again inspired from a song of my favourite portuguese singer, David Fonseca. Enjoy it.
Please, if you're reading this, take a minute to review, I always love to know what you think.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Fox, and lyrics in italic belong to David Fonseca.
Someone that cannot love
You locked up your heart
You wake up with tears and stars in your eyes
She sat quietly in the sofa, admiring the quietness around her apartment with a single glass of wine in her hand.
Her mind wondered in a place far away, dwelling in persistent thoughts while the warm fruit liquid descended her throat warming her body, bringing some kind of ease.
The thoughts flooded in the extent of her psyche, thoughts that had lead her to this point, were she felt confused and misplaced.
She had always been an independent woman, the one kind that didn't need protection.
Long before she became this respectable and cold facade of a stoic woman, hiding behind a blue lab-coat and white pieces of human remains, she had been a child.
A child that once knew love in its purest form and had seen it ripped off her young heart with such brutality that nowadays she doubted that it could still feel that way again. Warm and loved.
You gave it all to someone that
Cannot love you back
Your days are packed
With wishes and hopes for the love that you've got
Turning the glass in her hands she let herself think about all the men in her life.
All during her adult life she found the easiest solutions to fill the massive gap on her emotions. One man after another would captivate her, only by his looks, by his brilliant mind, his soothing voice or just because she needed to release all that tension her work provided, and mix it into a cocktail of hormones and biologic urges. It always made sense to her. It was perfectly normal to offer part of herself in a desperate searching for what she really craved.
You waste it all to someone that
Cannot love you back
Her body shifted lightly from her position, moved by the memories of the past.
But her body knew its ways, the right ways to feel, but it wasn't right. For as hard as she tried, all of the times, her body would eagerly respond to the stimuli of another man, but her heart... her heart would remain closed in a box inside her chest.
They all had been fine. She wondered what made them all leave. 'Am I that cold?'
Someone that cannot love
It was a fact that she didn't knew how to love. She once had, and the pay for giving away her heart so willingly turned out so painfully that the feeling of love always came associated with the one of loss. It always pained her, because she knew deep inside that she was a caring woman, one that was capable of compassion towards another human being.
So, she let herself go on her life, bearing the pain of being a stone cold hearted woman that only cared for her intelligence, in the eyes of strangers.
Love, ain't this enough
You push yourself down
You try to take comfort in words
But words
They cannot love
Don't waste them like that
Cus they'll bruise you more
She had been seen as an ice queen, until the day he came. It all seemed to melt away at the sight of his warm smile and liquid brown eyes.
He had shown her the world like she had never seen before. All the beauty of it, that was hidden from her for so long, was now coming into view through the brown eyes of this man, one that made her feel careless and comfortable all over again.
You secretly made
Castles of sand that you hide in the shade
But you cannot hold the tides that break them
And you build them all over again
He was the same man that she, slowly, had been letting inside.
They always played this irrational game, ever since the beginning. The walls over her heart were solid and strong, product of the many years of perseverance and distance from the simple words that could break her heart.
Every day she found herself challenging him, bringing him closer. There were times that he made her comfortable enough to let herself go and just feel. But every time she let her guard down, something would strike and cast away all her faith in this doomed world. Once again, the walls would build over the broken heart, shutting him out, leaving his own outside.
You talk all these words
You make conversations that cannot be heard
How long until you notice that
No one is answering back
But it wasn't without struggle and hardship that this emotions had come by. All the small bickering, all those petty fights, those long and irrational conversations that made no sense to either one of them, and even though there were times that she had lost herself in a confusion of logical reasons and fact, he had been the only one supporting, understanding and giving her confidence enough to carry on with her own wisdom.
Love, love, ain't this enough
All of what she had in life before his arrival was just enough. She considered herself a happy person, who had accomplished some great things in her life.
He showed her, how all of that wasn't enough. Brought back into the daylight the only part that she had been trying to hide for years. The part that needed to learn how to love again.
This was the one man that she was not afraid to say the words, for he would never leave her.
That thought always made her heart heavy, once again assaulted by the strong ache that proffering the words would cause.
Now, drowning in the unbearable silence of the room, she gasped, sensing tears rolling down her face. She quickly got up and headed out of the door, to the only place she knew would find comfort and love again.
She walked in the dark corridor, not bothering to turn on the light to illuminate her path. Her breathing was heavy and came out between muffled sobs that left her throat, despite her liking.
A gentle hand knocked softly on the dark wood door.
After what seemed to be a long time, the door finally opened revealing a tall man behind it.
He looked at her adoringly; she was the perfect picture of a fragile little girl. Her intense blue eyes glittered with fresh tears that fell on her rosy cheeks.
"Bones, what are you doing here?" His heart ached just to look at her, he wanted to hold her in his arms and never let go.
"Will you... teach me how to love?" Sad and low voice, overflowing with fear of rejection.
He smiled for the first time, and only that gesture could calm her own ache.
Slowly, he stepped in her direction; his hands softly cupped her cheeks, bringing his own face closer and closer to hers. Their foreheads touched and he now could see deeply into her eyes.
"You already know how... now, let me show you how much I do." He then brought his lips slowly over hers watching how her eyelids closed in satisfaction.
Anticipation made her tremble, but as soon as his warm lips danced over hers she let herself go into the chaste adoration he poured over her.
The kiss was intense, full of passion and care; no one had ever felt like it, this one was pure and intimate beyond the bounding of their bodies, for it touched both their souls deeply.
Words were not necessary to express the love they natured for one another, their bodies proved it by just being together.
Words they will hurt you more…
The end