Attack of the Writers

by Justyousee

Pathetic attempt at a comedy. Kurama is doing a research project and stumbles upon a certain site, Yeah that's basically it... Rated for other writer's yaoi, Kurama's language and bad grammar. 1 shot

Attack of the Writers

Summary- Pathetic attempt at a comedy. Kurama is doing a research project and stumbles upon a certain site, Yeah that's basically it... Rated for other writer's yaoi, Kurama's language, Kuwabara's stupidity, and bad grammar.

Don't own.

Kurama walks into his house, slipping off his shoes. "I'm home mother!" Silence... More silence... Kurama walks into the kitchen. On the fridge there's a piece of paper attached there with a pink fish magnet. He reads it.

'Suichi,

I went out with your step-brother and your father. I'll be home on Monday!

With love,

Mom'

Kurama sighed and through the paper in the trash can. 'It's raining,' the fox thought dryly.Kurama just went up to his room. It's Friday, but being the responsibile human he is- he'll do his Language Arts homework today.

Kurama stares at the screen. 'Screen name... Foxy-Rose-Boy... Password... Rosewhip... Sign on... Google search... Authors...' Then there's a bang. Kurama turns but sees the door just opened. He shrugs and then turns back to the screen. 'Fanfiction dot net? Hey there's my name.' He reads the summary curiously. 'Warning yaoi, Kurama X Hiei Lemon? What in the world...' Kurama clicks on the title and starts reading but as soon as he read the first paragraph Kurama quickly closes it. 'That's what lemon means...'

After an hour of Kurama reading different things he decides to contact the others to show them this. 'Hiei, you should get over here fast!' Kurama reaches for the phone and dials Yusuke's phone number. As Kurama is doing so, Hiei walks into Kurama's room dripping wet. "Yes it's important... Great... Bye." Kurama dials another number.

Hiei takes this time to go over to the computer. 'Human machine... Hiei tells Yukina he's her brother, WHAT! Damn humans! What is this thing!'

Kurama turns around to face his friend. "Hello Hiei." Hiei turns and glares at Kurama. "What is this thing?"

Kurama tried not to role his eyes, "A computer."

Hiei growls in annoyance. "Why does it know I'm Yukina's brother!"

Kurama answered sarcastically, "It can read your mind."

Hiei turns and glares at it. "Hn. Then I must kill it."

Hiei is about to draw his sword when Kurama stops him. "Hiei, I was joking. I don't know how it knows."

Hiei grunted, "Hn."

'KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!'

"KURAMA! OPEN THE DAMN FUCKING DOOR! IT'S RAINING OUT HERE!" Yells the irritated voice of the Spirit Detective.

Kurama gave a warning glare to Hiei, "I'll be back, don't kill my computer."

Hiei grunted, "Hn."

Yusuke is about to kick down the door when Kurama opens it. "Please come in."

Yusuke yelled angerily, "Bout time!" Kuwabara, Botan, and Yusuke come in.

Botan gave the red-head a worried glance, "What was so urgent Kurama?"

Kurama tries to explain, "I was doing my English project--"

Kuwabara interrupts him, "No way! I'm not helping you with homework Kurama! And your suppose to be real smart n all!"

Kurama once again tried to explain, "That's not what I'm implying. It's--"

Yusuke glared at his friend, "No demons?"

Kurama was on the verge of loosing his patience with the humans. "Not there isn't a demon. But if you would follow me?"

Yusuke sighed, "Alright! But this better be good, I was at the arcade!"

Hiei glares at the screen. 'Yukina and Kuwabara. Warning. Lemon. What in the seven hell does that mean?' Hiei clicks the title and reads. Hiei's eyes widen as he reads. 'If Kuwa-baka has touched my sister, I'LL KILL THAT SICK--' Kurama and the gang come in. Hiei draws his sword and charges at Kuwabara.

Kurama put a hand in front of Kuwabara warningly, "Hiei calm down." Hiei stops and glares daggers at him. Kurama glances to the screen. "That didn't really happen, Hiei." Hiei sheaths his sword and Kurama closes the page.

Kuwabara glares at the fire demon, "What was that for shrimp!" Yusuke strodes to the computer, ignoring them.

Kurama explained, "I found this site and it's a bunch of stories about us."

Yusuke smirked, "You mean we gotta fan club?"

Kurama nodded, "Seems so, but how would they know so much about us?"

Botan mussed, "Maybe it's a demon site?"

"That knows about Kuwabara and Yukina? Or Yusuke and Kayko?" Kurama asked.

Yusuke sat down on Kurama's chair and looks at one of the fics. "Yusuke X Kayko. Kayko falls in love with Kurama. How will Yusuke act? Will Kurama show the same for Kayko or fall for Botan? R and R. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS! KURAMA--"

Kurama sighed, "Calm down Yusuke, it's all fiction, I swear."

"Eh! Lemme see!" Kuwabara pushes Yusuke out of Kurama's chair. "Hey this one's about Hiei and Kurama... Kurama turns into a girl, Hiei realizes he loves Kurama-- HAHAHAHA!"

Hiei's lowere eyelid twitches, "What the..."

Kurama sighs. "Kuwabara this isn't funny. What if there are creatures watching are personal lives?"

"So watcha think we should do?" Kuwabara stood.

Determination filled emerald eyes, "We read all of them."

Yusuke grinned, "Can I just kick who's ever ass needs to be kicked?"

Botan smacked him, "This is series! I'll call Koenma right after the rain stops. Let's read!"

"Lemme go first!" Kuwabara sat back down.

Five hours later...

Yusuke starred at the screen with empty eyes, "Another Hiei and Kurama paring... Another Yusuke and Kuwabara paring... A Botan and Kayko paring?"

"GRRR! IT'S WORSE ENOUGH THAT THEY MAKE ME ACT LIKE AN IDIOT BUT BUT THIS THIS! GRRR!" Botan growled... Can the grim reaper growl?

Kurama rubbed her back, "Calm down Botan."

Kuwabara scratched his head, "But you are all peppy all the time and stuff."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!"

"Nothing." Kuwabara sweat drops.

Hiei is in the corner of the room, in the shadows in a horrible mood.

Kurama smiles evilly, "Well Hiei, it seems you have a lot of fan-girls. Another Hiei paring with an original character."

"Hn."

Inside the minds of our favorite Yuu Yuu Hakusho characters...

'Do people really think Kayko is going to brake up with me? And do I really seem like a punk? Do I fight with Kuwabara that much? And is Kurama gay? I mean he does look like a girl... And Hiei always talks to Kurama... Hm...' Yusuke glanced over to the fox.

'Maybe I should cut my hair, then maybe I would get some respect in these stories. And what if the demons are reading my mind? I don't look like a girl... And I do not love Yomi or Koronue! How dare they make Koronue act this way! GRRR THAT'S IT I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF THESE DAMN FUCKING BASTARDS!' Kurama's face remains calm while he continues to curse in his mind.

'DAMN FAN-GIRLS! DAMN KURAMA FOR LOOKING LIKE A GIRL! DAMN YUSUKE FOR ACTING FRIENDLY TOWARDS ME! DAMN BOTAN FOR BEING PREPPY! I HATE HUMANS! GRRRR! EVERY--' Okay let's leave Hiei's mind.

'Kurama is kind of cute... Maybe he likes me back. No... Does Hiei have feelings for me? I wonder what Koenma's and my kids will look like in this story...' Botan clicked onto another titled.

Kuwabara has a creepy smile on his face. 'Hehe another lemon with Yukina! HEY WAIT THIS ONE HAS ME DYING IN IT!'

Koenma walks inside Kurama's bedroom without warning. "Botan you said it was important."

Botan waved him off, "Shh, Koenma-sama, there's spies everywhere!"

"Whaa?" Koenma blinked.

"I found a website..." Kurama said while playing with his hair.

Koenma walks over to the blasted machine of doom and starts reading the current page. Then the prince falls on the floor laughing.

Hiei takes this time to sneak out as they watch him. Kurama follows without anyone in the room noticing. They end up in the kitchen. Kurama blushed a deep red, "Hiei do you feel... me?"

"Don't be a fool Kurama." Hiei said coldly.

"I AM NOT A FUCKING FOOL, YOU ASSHOLE! DON'T SAY YOU DIDN'T THINK THE SAME WAY WHEN YOU SAW!" Kurama gasped for air.

"Hn."

"AND WOULD YOU STOP SAYING 'HN' ALL THE FUCKING TIME! IT'S SO GOD DAMN ANNOYING!"

Hiei rolled his eyes, "Fox, your in your demon form."

Kurama looks down at himself, noticing the white outfit. "I'll just..."

A small bush outside of the Minamino house moves a bit and it then talks. "Number one, they found out about us. What should we do?"

"Let me think number 5... Er... We take them back with us!"

"But number one, what about the Hiei X Kurama fans? They will surely attack us if we take Kurama-sama with us."

"Your right number 3, we'll just have to keep it discreet. Number 66, open your lab top and make a portal And fast!"

"Yes ma'am!"

Yusuke speaks in a monotone, "Hiei falls in love with a girl... Kurama falls for Hiei... Botan and Koenma have kids... O C and Kurama... O C and Hiei... Kuwabara turns into a girl... Yoko Lemon... Yukina and Kuwabara... Kayko and me... AHHH" A huge black 2D circle appears on Kurama's bed and then everyone, including Koenma, Kurama, and Hiei walk into it without a second thought.

(3 hours later. With Hiei.) Hiei wakes up in a small bed room with posters of Hiei on the walls, a Hiei doll, and a computer on the far side of the room. Then a girl with blond hair and blue eyes comes in.

She grins. "Hello Hiei-sama."

Hiei tries to get free. "LET ME GO YOU FOOL!"

The girl smirks, "Yes lets go to the bed."

Hiei's eyes widen. 'A... lemon... NOOO!'

(With Kurama) Kurama is surrounded by fan girls.

"Come on Kurama-sama, please turn into your hot fox form? PLEASE?"

"LET'S UNDRESS HIM!"

"LETS PLAY WITH HIS HAIR!"

"I WANT HIS PANTS!"

"NO MINE!"

"MINE!"

Kurama screamed, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! BITCH GIVE ME BACK MY DAMN SHIRT! NO DAMN YOU YUSUKE!"

(With Yusuke) "So I have my own fan club?" The group of fan-girls and girls nod.

Yusuke smiled nervously, "Sorry but me and Kayko are going out."

The girls shake their head along with a few boys. "YOUR OURS NOW!" Yusuke gulps.

"HELP KAYKO!"

(With Kuwabara) Kuwabara is in a room by himself. "Er don't I have a fan club?" A bald guy comes in wearing skin tight black pants. Kuwabara blinked, "Uh who are you?"

The guy winks at him, "They're at lunch. So I get to have you."

Kuwabara backs into a wall. "NO STAY BACK! I LOVE YUKINA! HEY DON'T TOUCH THAT! WHAT'S THAT FOR! ACK! YUKINA HELP MEEEEEEEE!"

(With Botan) Botan, "Um hey girls, can't we be friends?" Botan backs into a corner as a bunch of girls stand there wearing gothic clothing and numerous weapons in hands. Girl, "DIE YOU DAMN PREP!" "ACK! KOENMA SAVE MEEEEE!" "DIE!"

(With Koenma) Koenma grits his teeth, "Hm." A bead of sweat rolls down his forehead. "Three of a kind!"

Okami (hey it's me) "Full house."

"You cheat!"

"No I don't!"

Koenma gulps.

"I mean good game."

"Thank you."

(In front of a huge house) A group of writers, of all different sexuality, age, and gender stand there. The screams of Hiei, Kurama, Yusuke, Botan, and Kuwabara are heard. One of the writers, "We, the yaoi Kurama X Hiei group will steal back Kurama and Hiei. The others can stay. NOW GO!"

"CHARGE!" The group runs into the house...

Will Kurama and Hiei be taken to the yaoi writers or will they be stuck with their fan girls for life? I can't answer that because this is a oneshot. I know, Kurama cursed, OOC. Oh well. But I was in it. But I feel bad for what I did to Kuwabara... Oh and if anything sounded personal, it's not... Why Kurama said 'Damn you Yusuke,' Well I think one of you will be able to figure it out... Hopefully... Alright I'm shutting up now...