Letting Go of the Sky
Beta-Read by: UnknownAlicex3
A/N: As the author who wrote this story, I suggest you read the prequel; 'Never Mine' first before reading this one. From the reviews I'd gotten from 'Never Mine', I notice some of the readers wanting a sequel for the sad 5986 story, so here it is! :) Just to warn ya that this...it's still as sad as ever but end with a happy ending. :') Between, this fic is started with Haru's point of view.
It burned in my mind, the mental image of Tsuna-san and Kyoko-chan smiling ever so lovingly to each other. I don't know why, but it hurts. It hurts so much more than I ever expected as I watched my best friend and crush walking together while holding hands, looking like the loving couple they are.
I still loved him. I still wished that one day he could turn around and noticed me; the girl who had always loved and waited for him to return my feelings. But he never did look at me as someone more than just a friend. All these years, he had never laid his eyes on me, neither did he laid his eyes on another girl; he only had his eyes set on her.
I used to believe it when peoples said that first love don't last long. I stifled a laugh. I'm begging for a disagreement now. Look at them, the bright smile that spread on their faces whenever they are together, they could never look happier than when they're together. Even if I hate it and don't want to admit it aloud, I know that they are a perfect match.
Why is it so unfair?
I thought about the question a lot. She is no different than me. She is just like me; we can't fight, and we had been living in the lies that were told by them. However, I know that there are many things that I can do much better than her. Like…my love for him. I didn't love him for nothing, I loved him for his kindness, that loving smile...care towards all his friends and all in all, I loved him for being himself.
So, why?
She is clueless towards the love he had shown to her all through these years, so why and how did it turned out like this? I should be the one he's holding, loving and marrying now.
Hot tears welled up in my eyes as I laughed bitterly to myself.
I'm an idiot.
I knew it from a long ago that he doesn't love me. Yet, I'm still wishing that one day, he could look at me as more than just a friend…
When…? when can I let him go along with all these pains he had created for me and find a new love?
I seriously wonder how it felt to be loved by him. I bet that Kyoko-chan is really happy to be with Tsuna-san. It bothered me though. Why is he smiling to her? Why is he wearing the smile that could always remind me that I still loved him? It really bothered me… to see him looking genuinely happy in somebody else's arms instead of mine.
I know… no matter how much I admire and adore him; he will always be out of my reach. He is unattainable to me. Because he had her, the sun that shines brightly for the sky.
I felt something hot and wet dropped on my hand. I touched it, and realized that it was my tears… why… why can't I stop crying? Why did the thought of them made me felt so painful and sad?
Why am I crying?! Stop… STOP! I… I should stay strong! I had promised myself before that I don't want to let Tsuna-san worry over me… but why… just why won't the tears stop themselves? I want to go wild… I want to go wild for a second!
But instead, I found myself standing here motionless as I tried to get rid of the thought of my crush and my best friend.
A smooth hand gently patted my shoulder, and when I open my eyes and titled my head, I saw Gokudera-san. I gave him a smile as I quickly rubbed the tears at the corner of my eyes away.
"G-Gokudera-san… is there anything you wished Haru can help you with?" I asked him, hiding my sadness with the sincere smile that plastered on my face.
"You're a bad liar, stupid woman…" he stated with a straight face and I was surprised at how simple he had looked through my fake smile. All of a sudden, he pulled me into his warm hands; his piano skilled fingers ruffled my hair in a loving way.
"Cry." He said and I was so startled that I let out a 'Hahi' in question.
"If it will make you feel better, cry out all your pain. You don't have to bear the pain by yourself, you can always cry in front of me." I didn't know what was happening to me.
His voice… although he always threw insults and curses on me, although his voice will never be able to make my heart felt the tingling happiness that I will always felt whenever I heard Tsuna-san's voice… why did his voice make me feel so comforted?
My hands unconsciously gripped around his shoulders, tears gently run down from my eyes uncontrollable as he continue running his fingers through my hair.
Gokudera-san… why aren't you Tsuna-san?
If I could ever have Tsuna-san care for me just as much as you are now...I… I'll be satisfied and happy…
"H-Hahi! Haru is not in lo-" I start to blush madly while trying to defend for myself. However, Tsuna-san interrupted me.
"You are." He said and I looked down, trying to play along with him.
"O-Of course… Haru is in love with Tsuna-san… but Tsuna-san had pushed Haru away…" my voice was cracking as I tried not to let him see just how sad I am. Tsuna-san started to look troubled and I suddenly regretted to have spitted that out.
"Haru…"
"No, Tsuna-san...don't. Haru is okay with it. Haru doesn't feel that hurt anymore… G-Gokudera-san is there with Haru, so don't worry…" I tried to reason with him as I looked away, trying not to look at my crush's face.
"Haru, although I could never feel the same way, b-but I still love you… as a friend." I finally looked at him, a faint smile spreading on my face as I nodded my head. Yeah… why am I so foolish? Although Tsuna-san won't love me more than just a friend but I'm still Tsuna-san's… most important friend…
"I love Tsuna-san too…"
Suddenly, Tsuna-san and I snapped over to the opened doorway when something cluttered on the floor. My eyes slightly widened when I saw Gokudera-san standing there looking shocked.
"G-Gokudera-san…" I voiced out in surprise. J-Just how much had Gokudera-san heard? Tsuna-san and I were dumbfounded as we watched Gokudera-san swiftly turn away, but I saw the surprise and shock in his eyes and the frown on his lips…
I searched for him through the whole mansion. From his room to the training room, from the training room to the library, from the library to everywhere that I know that's possible for him to go to. However, I still failed to find him.
Suddenly, I felt so lonely. Why do I feel so troubled right now? I sat down on the bench, thinking hard about the question. That was when someone stood in front of me, I looked up, and I was surprised when I saw Gokudera-san.
"You still loved him, don't you?" the once warm and loving voice, is now replaced with such a cold tone that made my heart nearly crashed into pieces. I looked at him and widened my eyes as he removed his hands from mine with such force. I tried to make eye-contact with him, but I can't. His silver bangs had covered his eyes and he was looking down on the ground.
"I… I…" my lips started to tremble and suddenly, I can't find my voice…what's wrong with me? What is this mixed feeling of being scared and hurt that I'm feeling now?
"You know Jyuudaime is going to get married to Sasagawa-san in a few days so stop thinking too far. His words didn't mean much more than just a friend." His words were like salts sprinkling on my old wounds… I know... I don't need him to remind me.
However, I just couldn't believe it; this Gokudera-san in front of me is totally different from the Gokudera-san I knew yesterday. Gokudera-san used to be gentle and comforting to be with just a few days ago… b-but why is he now suddenly turning into another person?
He turned around and didn't bother to give me one last glance as he started to walk away. I balled my trembling fists as I bit my lips; I need to tell him… I need to tell him… I need to let Gokudera-san understand how much I… I…
"AHO-DERA! HARU DO NOT LOVE TSUNA-SAN ANYMORE! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THROUGH IT?!" With the top of my lungs, I shouted at him. Tears slowly trickling down from my eyes as they ran down on my cheeks.
He stopped on his track and turned his face around, looking at me in shock. Why… why can't the tears just stop coming out? I'm just going to tell Gokudera-san how I felt, but why… just why…
"BECAUSE OF GOKUDERA-SAN, H-HARU… HARU CAN'T FIND HERSELF LOVING TSUNA-SAN ANYMORE! HARU CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT GOKUDERA-SAN! IT'S ALL GOKUDERA-SAN'S FAULT! SO YOU MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT!"
Rapidly, I turned around and start to run away. I felt so embarrassed yet at the same time I'm also too scared to hear his response. I know… I know he is going to reject me. Who am I kidding? This is Gokudera Hayato we're talking about! He hated me and he never liked me before! Of course he is going to reject me!
But all of sudden, a pair of strong arms wrapped around my trembling body, preventing me from running away. My eyes widened in realization when I recognize this pair of arms. This is the arms that used to comfort me when I'm feeling down… the hands that rubbed my tears away are these familiar piano skilled hands… This is… Gokudera-san…
"Haru…" he whispered my name in such a caring way as I could feel more tears running down from my eyes.
"Don't worry, I will take full responsibility. I will always be there for you, and I mean it, ALWAYS. Although the sky might never be yours… but you can have the storm that will always wait for you." Sincerity can be heard in his voice.
I turned myself around as I wrapped my hands around his neck. Once again, I could feel myself crying in his embrace… However, this time, it's tears of happiness. I was able to feel safe and secure in his arms. He lifted my face up as he gently caressed my head before kissing me on my forehead.
"Haru Miura, I promise that I will love you, forever and ever."
Tsuna-san… Haru is so grateful to be able to meet you…
Because of you, Haru could be able to meet Gokudera-san…
Right now, Haru could finally let go of you, the sky, but...Haru is not alone.
Haru is now loved by the strong and protective storm…
The End
Ending note: Wooohoooo! Finally finished with the sequel! :') Haru is finally able to be with Gokudera (at least in this fic! XD) Do you like the sequel, readers? ;)