Bentley Strikes Back
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN SLY COOPER
-Takes place after Sly 4.
Chapter 1:
(In Canada)
An old moose and an old duck are seen talking nearby a log-constructing factory.
-Old Moose: So what ye say we play some checkers, eh?
-Old Duck: Yes, yes. I be waitin' for you to say that.
Old Moose pulls out the checkerboard
-Old Moose: Rock-paper-Scissors to see who goes first.
-Old Duck: Yes, I be feelin a little younger when I play this game.
-Old Moose: What's dat spossed to mean?
-Old Duck: Nothin.
The two play rock-paper-scissors. Old Moose played rock while Old Duck played scissors.
-Old Duck: I win! Scissors beats rock
-Old Moose (shouting): NO, ROCK BEATS SCISSORS! No wonder they call you Stupid Stu.
-Old Duck: Hey! It's not my fault my mama named me Stupid for my first name. SHE JUST COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE BETTER! At least, my mama didn't name me Ugly Ugluck, eh?
-Old Moose (rising): SHUT THE FRENCH TOAST UP, YOU WEASEL.
(Meanwhile, inside an ice cave)
-Jean Bison: Well, well if it isn't the thieving raccoon himself, Sly Cooper. We meet again.
-Sly: Yeah, well, hopefully for the last time. And besides, I heard a while back that you ended up being frozen again while attempting to rescue baby penguins. So what you thought you could have tamed the Wild North, yet you couldn't even save a group of baby penguins?
-Jean Bison- It's not easy saving baby penguins. There just so, so, so…
-Sly: So…?
-Jean Bison: Never-mind that! One of my henchmen cracked me out of the ice and I was free. Free to get my revenge on those same penguins. So, now I continued my famous lumber-jacking business. I used the lumber to trap all penguins that tried to cross into Canada! YEAH! I rule all PENGUINS!
-Sly: Cool story, bro. But you also have something that I need. A page of the Thievius Racconus that I didn't recover while traveling back in time. I need that page.
-Jean Bison: You crazy fool! This one page is GENIUS! Such brilliant writing, creativity, and intellect! If you want it come and get it. It's just you and me, eh?
(Carmelita walks in, raises her shock pistol)
-Carmelita: And me. Hiya, ringtail.
-Sly: What's up beautiful.
-Jean Bison: Wait, what? You two are together? That's worse than…
-Carmelita: Uhhhhhhh, your face.
-Jean Bison (grabs a mirror): Does it really look that bad?
-Random guy walking: Yeah, dude, it's bad.
-Jean Bison: (clenched fists): Uhh, for the love of muffins, let's fight!
(Sly begins fighting Jean Bison while Carmelita covers him with her shock pistol. Bison proved to be a tough fight and is now escaping down the cave.)
-Carmelita: Cooper, I'm out of ammo.
-Sly: Don't worry about it, I got him.
-Sly (calling Bentley via binocuom): Bentley, get ready to execute plan B!
-Bentley (aboard the Cooper Blimp): Got you, pal. Murray, you all set for the next phase?
-Murray (eating cardboard): "The Murray" is ready!
Murray gets up and takes control of the turret.
-Murray: That Bean Jison got no chance against "The Murray".
-Murray turns and aims at the log-constructing factory.
(Meanwhile)
-Ugly Ugluck: (grabbing Stupid Stu by the collar): You gonna apologize, sonny boy!
-Stupid Stu: Someone help. An ugly moose is strangling me!
-Old Goat: Yo, ugly. Get off my co-worker. (Looks at the moose's face.) Oh would you look at that. Your name actually is ugly.
-Ugly Ugluck: Shut up! At least my mama never named me Miller Lite.
-Miller Lite: What can I say? She was that drunk!
Kaboom! Bullets are being fired right at the center of the factory.
-Ugly Ugluck: Everyone, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
(Meanwhile)
-Sly (talking via binocuom): Bentley! It seems to be working. Jean Bison is leaving the ice cave and heading towards the destroyed log-constructing factory. You're up pal.
-Bentley: Alright. Murray, lower me down to the factory.
-Jean Bison (reaches factory): NOOO! My lumber business! Ruined! How I hate those Coopers!
-Bentley (jumps from blimp, sneaks toward Bison, talking to himself): All I need to do now is to fire these Level 8.3 sleep darts onto Bison, thus creating a plus/negative charge ratio, which in turn will put this behemoth to sleep. I can then steal the page back while he's sleeping.
(Bentley fires a sleep dart at Jean Bison.)
-Jean Bison (turns around)-Wha..? Ha! I've survived more than 300 years of rock solid, frozen ice. Your sleep darts have no effect on me.
(Jean Bison grabs Bentley by the head and slams him down on the ice.)
-Jean Bison: Never again will a turtle outsmart me!
-Sly: Hey! Bison! You let my friend go!
-Jean Bison: And why would I do that! For Pete's sake, the man destroyed my lumber factory! Doesn't anyone care about my lumber factory?
-Sly: What I care about is giving you a kick to your face!
(Sly and Jean Bison square off again but this time Bison overpowers Sly. Bison throws Sly into a nearby building, leaving him dazed.)
-Carmelita: (running to Bison): Ringtail! Jean Bison, you're under arrest.
-Jean Bison: Under arrest for what? For knocking out your boyfriend?
(Carmelita tries to fight Jean Bison, but without her shock pistol, she is no match for his brute force. Jean Bison throws her in a heap beside Bentley.)
-Jean Bison: And now. You two will face the wrath of the "One who tames the North!"
*Jean Bison grabs his ax and slams it on the ice cracking it to pieces. The ice continues breaking separating Bentley and Carmelita and sending them pummeling toward a cliff in opposite directions. The two both grab onto a chunk of ice, saving them temporarily. Bentley is seen clinging for dear life on the left side of the cliff while Carmelita is on the right side. There both losing their grip at the same rate. Sly wakes up and sees what's happening.
-Sly: Hang on guys, I'll save you.
-Bentley: Sly, you can only save one of us. I'm…I'm losing my grip.
-Sly: What do you mean I can only save one of you? Hang on Bentley. I need to save Carmelita first.
-Sly runs toward Carmelita, grabs her, and saves her.
-Bentley: SLY! I told you, the ice is too slippery.
-Sly runs back toward Bentley.
Sly: Bentley, wait!
-Bentley: It's…It's too late.
-Bentley's hands slip from the ice and he falls straight down the cliff. Sly and Carmelita watch in horror.
(Meanwhile)
-Jean Bison is seen running toward a nearby jet.
-Jean Bison: YES! I finally can escape from the cops!
-Jean Bison enters the jet to find three of his henchmen already in it.
-Jean Bison: Hey, guys! Do me favor and let's get the heck out of here!
-Ugly Ugluck, Miller Lite, and Stupid Stu all look at each other.
-Ugly Ugluck: Whateva you say boss.
-Ugly Ugluck begins flying the plane. At first there ascending above the sea, but then the plane rapidly descends right towards the water.
-Jean Bison: HEY, WHAT IN THE NAME OF FLAPJACKS ARE YOU DOING?
-Ugly Ugluck: This is for not paying us for over 3 months, you meanie.
-Ugly Ugluck, Miller Lite, and Stupid Stu both jump out of the plane onto land right before it crashes into the sea.
-Jean Bison: Aw, NOT AGAIN!