A/N:
If you like this story, please check out the Kickstarter for my book. It was made a Project We Love, but I still need all the help I can get.
The link is on my profile page, because won't allow external links.
When Steve woke up, he was in the hospital. Natasha, Sam, and Bucky were standing around his bed. None of them noticed he was awake, because they were too busy staring at each other. You could have cut the tension with a knife, and he wouldn't be surprised if one of them had tried.
He coughed.
"Steve." Nat sounded relieved. He liked to think it was because he'd woken up, but he was pretty sure it was just because he'd broken the tension.
"Sit rep?"
"Mission accomplished," said Nat. "You stopped the Insight."
"Not the situation I was talking about."
"Bucky saved you," she said.
"From himself," added Sam.
"He pulled Steve out of the river."
"Oh, well, he didn't try to kill Steve for five whole minutes. Let's give him the Medal of Honor. Let's just forget that he spent those five minutes trying to kill us."
"He didn't try to kill us."
"He pulled a knife on us!"
"I was out of ammo," said Bucky.
Steve couldn't tell if it was a joke or not. Then again, he couldn't tell if it was Bucky or not.
"I think Bucky was trying to protect you from us," said Nat. "When he saw we weren't a threat, he helped us get you to the hospital."
"Only reason he's still here." Sam jabbed a finger in Bucky's face, and everyone seemed pleasantly surprised when he didn't lose it.
Nat ignored him. "Bucky stopped the bleeding."
"Which he caused," said Sam. "Why do you keep forgetting that part?"
"Carpe diem and all that," said Nat. "I'm trying to live in the moment. This is a nice moment. Stop ruining the moment, Sam."
"Speaking of moments," said Steve. "Would guys mind giving me us one?"
"We'll be right outside," said Nat, with a subtle glance at Bucky.
"Yell if he tries to strangle you with your IV," said Sam, who was not particularly good at subtle. Well, he was a soldier. He was used to having things shouted at him.
Nat grabbed his broken wings and dragged him out of the hospital room.
Steve just wished Sam would stop giving Bucky ideas. Nat seemed to know what she was doing, so he decided follow her lead.
"Thank you for saving me," he said.
Bucky didn't answer. He turned to face the door and stood to attention, one hand at the knife on his hip.
"Bucky? Are you okay?"
There was a beat before Bucky responded. "Why do you keep calling me that?"
"You don't remember?"
Another beat. "I don't remember the mission parameters."
"The mission parameters."
"I know it's my mission to protect you, but if there's a cover you want me to assume, you'll have to brief me. I don't remember receiving my orders." Beat. "Please don't tell them."
Bucky looked back at Steve. His eyes were wild, like they had been on the Helicarrier, metal fist pulled back for another punch, but that was better than the blank stare of the Winter Soldier.
"I won't tell them," Steve promised.
Bucky nodded and turned to face the door again. Apparently giant memory gaps weren't a big deal for him.
"You weren't assigned to protect me."
"What?"
"You weren't assigned to protect me," Steve said again. He decided not to mention that Bucky had actually been assigned to kill him. Baby steps.
"It must be my mission." Beat. "Why else would I be doing it?"
"I don't know. Why are you doing it?"
Beat. "I want to."
Bucky's voice was small, like he hadn't said that word for a long time, and he wasn't sure what the consequences would be.
Steve tried to smile anyway. "There you go."
Beat. "I've never wanted anything."
Steve knew a few dozen women from Brooklyn who would argue with that, although they were probably all dead by now.
"You wanted me to keep your memory loss a secret."
Bucky frowned.
"That wasn't a threat." Steve sighed. "This is a good thing. It means you get to set the mission parameters."
Beat. "I don't know how."
"Sure you do. You used to do it all the time in the Howling Commandos. We usually did it together. Do you want me to help?"
Beat. "Okay."
"How about this: You protect me for as long as you want to. When you don't want to anymore, you stop. Maybe warn me first. What do you say?"
This time, Bucky didn't miss a beat.
"Gotov vypolnit."
Beat. "Huh?"
"Oh," said Bucky. "Uh, ready to comply."